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Original poster

Mum says partner can stay in property for life

26 replies

Beach11 · 10/07/2023 20:11

Mum’s new partner is moving in with her (she owns). She has said he can stay in the property til his death if she passes away first.
She’s going to change her will to state this.

Anyone got any advice on what this means for my siblings and me as beneficiaries & executors of her will?
Will we in effect become landlords & be responsible for the maintenance & upkeep of the property?
Will he be able to make a financial claim against the property?
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 10/07/2023 20:16

My Mum put this in her will. He is responsible for all costs and maintenance related to the property though.
Its awful, we don’t have any closure and are expected by various people to keep an eye on him (I don’t like him) which would mean going to the house where my Mum died and seeing all her things, including her empty chair.
Plus he’s broke and can’t really afford to stay there and has dementia (mild but getting worse) so can’t look after either himself or the house properly.
The house isn’t costing us anything but we can’t sell it or anything and I expect he will be there for a while yet until he becomes too unwell

CJat10 · 10/07/2023 20:21

My will states partner can stay in house for 2 yrs to give him time to make alternative arrangements. I have life insurance that will pay off mortgage and give a sum to the children. He will pay all bills due.

Are you on good terms with mum enough to clarify these details?

gogomoto · 10/07/2023 20:21

Both my dp and I have lifetime interest in our house, once both of us are gone/moved the kid(s) get the house. Inheritance is a privilege, not a right

Bromptotoo · 10/07/2023 20:22

She needs advice on how to make these provisions in her will..

Keykat · 10/07/2023 20:30

Yes get legal advice, no offence but I would not have a will writer draft the will, only a qualified solicitor. It is common enough for those with partners to allow the partner to reside in the property after the death of the owner/other partner. However I would hope that your mother considers an event restriction clause, e.g. if surviving partner marries or co habits, then the right of residence ends. Or make it time restricted for say under five years. She should also ensure that surviving partner is responsible for upkeep/insurance etc.

Just let your mum be aware of things to ask the solicitor.

Original poster
Beach11 · 10/07/2023 20:32

CJat10 · 10/07/2023 20:21

My will states partner can stay in house for 2 yrs to give him time to make alternative arrangements. I have life insurance that will pay off mortgage and give a sum to the children. He will pay all bills due.

Are you on good terms with mum enough to clarify these details?

Yes, we are on good terms but she’s getting annoyed when we ask questions and want clarification.
She says the house is still 100% going to my siblings and I but we don’t think she has looked into everything fully.

She’s changing her will next week but won’t let anyone go with her. No idea if partner is going with her.

We are concerned as it is a fairly new relationship & she is getting taken advantage of. He literally has nothing.

OP posts:
ArthurPoppy · 10/07/2023 20:47

My step gran lived in her house after my grandad died. She was a well loved wife of many years and the arrangement worked well. I loved being able to visit still, despite grandad being gone. At one point step gran downsized with my mums backing. She passed about 14 years after grandad

IhaveanewTVnow · 10/07/2023 20:57

This is interesting as my partner and I have been thinking of doing this on a joint house we are going to buy. Between us we have four children. We did discuss adding a period ie 5 years but say my partner dies at 80, will I really be wanting to sell a house and downsizing at 85? So I can understand the life.

you have no right to inheritance and as long as your mum has taken proper legal advice and isn’t being abused I really don’t think there is much you can do.

Original poster
Beach11 · 10/07/2023 21:11

Our concern is if we have to pay for the up keep & maintenance of the house and can’t afford to. For example it needs a new roof or something major.

OP posts:
Bobsyouruncleand · 10/07/2023 22:13

You won’t have to pay for the maintenance. That will be for her partner to cover, but if mum is of sound mind, she’s entitled to write her will as she sees fit, whether that means her partner lives there or actually inherits. We come with nothing and make our own money. No one should feel entitled to inherit anything just because their parent has an estate.

HowardKirksConscience · 10/07/2023 22:18

gogomoto · 10/07/2023 20:21

Both my dp and I have lifetime interest in our house, once both of us are gone/moved the kid(s) get the house. Inheritance is a privilege, not a right

Is this arrangement part of tax planning?

LightlySearedontheRealityGrill · 10/07/2023 22:18

Maybe say to her that you would find it very hurtful for him to move a new partner in to her house in that terrible circumstance, so could she please write that into the agreement that he would have to leave if he wanted to do that. And also that you are not responsible for any upkeep or bills while he is there as that would be too much of a financial burden for you.

Clymene · 10/07/2023 22:19

How old are they? How long have they been seeing one another?

MajorDanger · 10/07/2023 22:23

You won’t have to pay for the maintenance. That will be for her partner to cover

but how do you ensure it’s maintained to a certain standard? How is that enforced? Presumably if he doesn’t, op & siblings will have expensive legal fees to get him to do them.

Landlubber2019 · 10/07/2023 22:23

My grandma inherited a house with a living tennant, when the tennant passed away the house was in a very poor condition which affected the cost of the house sale.

NewNameNigel · 10/07/2023 22:23

Plus he’s broke and can’t really afford to stay there and has dementia
**
I think most people wouldn't want their broke partner with dementia to be made homeless upon their death..

It is concerning that this is a new relationship but unless she's incapable of making her own decisions or being abused then it's not up to you. You aren't entitled to an inheritance. Your mum would be well within her rights to leave the house to you or to a charity if she wanted to. At least this way you'll get your hands on it eventually.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 10/07/2023 22:24

My mothers 2nd husband had that in his will. If he died first she could stay living there until she either remarried or died.
She said she would not stay there though as it was not fair for his adult kids to have to wait. Their mother had been married to him for 40 years and raised their family there.

Hoppinggreen · 10/07/2023 22:25

Bobsyouruncleand · 10/07/2023 22:13

You won’t have to pay for the maintenance. That will be for her partner to cover, but if mum is of sound mind, she’s entitled to write her will as she sees fit, whether that means her partner lives there or actually inherits. We come with nothing and make our own money. No one should feel entitled to inherit anything just because their parent has an estate.

It’s not always about entitlement though, I never expected to inherit my Mums house as due to her health I expected the house to be sold to pay for her care.
Now we have the worst of both worlds, a man I don’t like (and who my Mum wasn’t keen on for the last few years) living in a house I own when I don’t want to. He can’t afford to maintain it properly but it’s not bad enough (yet) for him to be in breach of the terms of the trust but even if he was how could I evict an 82 year old man?
If he had nowhere to live then his daughter would have to properly help him or the Council would and he would be in a better position as he is struggling to live independently as it is. About 6 months before she died my mum said he would be better in a home if anything happened to her but instead here we are.

NewNameNigel · 10/07/2023 22:26

but how do you ensure it’s maintained to a certain standard? How is that enforced?

This couldn't be enforced if the mother left the house directly to the kids.

AdaColeman · 10/07/2023 22:29

I hope your Mum considers things such as limiting the length of time he can remain in the house, that his right to remain in the house will end if he co-habits or marries.
If he has no financial backup, how will he afford to maintain the property?
A decision like this is a can of worms really.

Original poster
Beach11 · 10/07/2023 22:31

Late 60’s. 11 months.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 10/07/2023 22:32

AdaColeman · 10/07/2023 22:29

I hope your Mum considers things such as limiting the length of time he can remain in the house, that his right to remain in the house will end if he co-habits or marries.
If he has no financial backup, how will he afford to maintain the property?
A decision like this is a can of worms really.

Yep

FireflyJar · 10/07/2023 23:07

What if mum dies and he has dementia. Would the house be sold to pay for his care?

Radiodread · 10/07/2023 23:24

I really think you need independent legal advice, especially if your mum is potentially being coerced. 11 months is a ridiculously too-short time span to be signing over a house occupancy post death. Has she done police disclosures on him, as he sounds a bit chancy especially if he has absolutely nothing and is love bombing her into signing over assets.

Im99912 · 10/07/2023 23:57

If it’s a lifetime interest trust there are a few things to consider
should your mum die first this basically create the trust on her death

this means you have around 2 years from her death to inform HMRC of the trust and each year a trust and estate tax return form has to be done
I didn’t realise this until after my dad passed away and I got an accountant to deal with it for me recently as it was to complicated to do myself

I think you will also need the land Registry deeds of the house updated to reflect the ownership of the house if you own it but can’t live in it

if you are a beneficiary of the trust this could affect any benefits you get even if you can’t sell the property because your mums partners is living there you will have an interest in the property

it could also mean you are no longer FTB and get FTB discount if you were to buy a house

just my experience of the past 2 years