Partner can’t work, I can’t afford all bills on my own

[Howtoaffordlife]

I work full time and my partner currently works full time too (both on just below average salaries). We have a mortgage, two cars and two cats. No kids.

My partner has mental illnesses and most likely autism (an idea which has been mentioned during privately funded psychotherapy).

Myself & my partner do not claim PIP or any other benefits but we are finding my partner’s life increasingly hard to manage and they are signed off sick (full pay, luckily) - I personally believe they aren’t well enough to return to/maintain a job (been through 3 in the past year).

My problem is, we simply cannot afford to live on just my income. I have £300-400 left over after my half of the bills each month. We both contribute around £1100 for mortgage and bills per month at the moment.

There is nothing I can cut back on, I have gone over our bills over and over again.

How do people afford to live on one income?

What options are there for us?

Partner met criteria to be labelled as disabled during an occupational health report which was carried out at the end of last year. Been through every medication the GP can suggest. They suffer daily with emotional breakdowns, hopelessness and awful anxiety about basically everything.

The obvious thing to cut back on is the two cars. Does your partner need a car if he is not working? Can you share?

Sounds like he needs to apply for PIP and any other help that may be available. Could you downsize if you needed to? Although appreciate buying/selling/remortgaging not easy in current market. I suppose just going through every outgoing and considering what you could survive without, selling 2nd car etc

Btw I do live on one income as I am a single parent. I manage but I do worry about retirement.

Thanks for your replies. Yes we wouldn’t need the two cars if partner wasn’t working. Realistically that would save £150 a month which although is something, wouldn’t help our situation a huge amount. The car isn’t on finance and is cheap to run. I suppose selling it could free up some money in the short-term.

Why does it have to be one income?

Can he not change his job, reduce his hours, or both?

If mortgage and joint bills come to £2200 a month then that is a hefty mortgage. If his illness is going to be long term and he really can't consider another type of employment then you may need to consider that realistically keeping the house may not be an option. Once he finishes work he can look at contributions based ESA and if put in the support / LCWRA group possible UC but UC unlikely if you have a mortgage and your wage coming in. Also look at PIP.

Even a minimum wage job would contribute a good amount a month.

Have you done a proper budget, MoneySavingExpert have lots of advice on this

Check things like mobile phones, insurances and subscriptions are the very lowest they can be
do you rent ? Can you move to a smaller cheaper place
if you have a mortgage can you extend the term

Can you work a few more hours at a weekend, maybe in a second job

can he take on responsibility for the home, meals, laundry cleaning and the garden freeing you to just work ?

Look at what benefits he's entitled to. PIP would be a good place to start

£2200 for housing and bills just won't be sustainable then unfortunately. If he qualifies for pip (possible but don't get your hopes up as it's about day to day living ability eg can you cook, shower, use toilet etc not working), possible esa but check criteria. Many people have to live on one salary so have to reduce outgoings accordingly.

What is the £2200 made up of? Seems a lot unless you have a high mortgage

He needs to look for a job he finds more manageable/ different hours etc giving up would be too huge an impact on your family

Can’t he use his wages now to look for treatment/therapy for his anxiety?

It will be the best money he has ever spent

Otherwise I’m afraid it’s time to sell up and get cheaper accommodation

You’re going to have to cut down on your outgoings.

Go down to one car. Downsize house (probably would need to do this while he’s still employed to get the right mortgage rates).

There’s also a wide spectrum between “working full time getting stressed” and “not working at all”. He may need to take some immediate time out now but working part time in a minimum wage job could get him bringing in £900/month (for 20 hours), for example.

You can look at benefits and PIP etc but that’s not necessarily going to replace his current contribution.