How to 'store' money for estranged sibling

[AnalLysis]

Hi all, apologies, this is long but I want to be clear.

My DSis and I are due to inherit some money from my late mum's estate. I am being confirmed as executor (Scotland) with the assistance of a lawyer given the size of the estate. There was no will and therefore it's a straightforward split between siblings. However - we have another, older sibling who has been estranged from our mother since her first marriage ended in the 1970s and a stepmother came onto the scene. We have never met this woman, and are both in agreement that this would possibly turn her world upside down and be very distressing, particularly as we don't know the full circumstances surrounding the divorce, custody battle etc. However, ultimately this money is hers. With advice from the solicitor, we have decided that for now, we are going to put a pin in it. Essentially the plan is to be paid half each, then each put a third into a joint savings account for our sibling. The solicitor has advised we both need to sign an indemnity stating our understanding that this chunk belongs to her. We can then take some breathing space to decide how and when to contact her (assuming we can track her down). However this means that we are both going to end up with more than we are due initially, which is an issue for my DSis as she is currently on Universal Credit. She is working full time, but it is looking increasingly likely that she may have to stop working for a period of time to look after her DD who has a degenerative condition and is a year away from being old enough for adult residential care.

We asked whether I as executor could be paid two thirds of the estate (therefore have sole responsibility for looking after sibling's share), but apparently this is not possible unless I've misunderstood.

My question is, given all this, what is the best way to store the money for my estranged sibling without this impacting my sister's day to day life? Obviously her own inheritance will impact UC and this is clearly fine, we've no interest in rinsing the benefit system. It's more that we don't want her income to be impacted by 'holding on' to someone else's money. Would the indemnity be enough to show that this money isn't actually hers?

Thanks for any advice.

Is there any reason why she can't be traced now? I don't understand why you're dithering on this. She has a right to know and a right to receive her portion of the inheritance when you receive yours. So why wait? Why hold onto her share? And why risk your DSis' UC rating/support while you do this?

I don't believe a solicitor has advised you to do this at all.

I think I get what the OP is saying. That this sister may have been raised to think her stepmother was her biological mother. And inheriting a pile of cash from her biological mother opens that can of worms and may cause great distress and upheaval.

However, I agree that this isn’t the OP’s decision to withhold the money. I think that as executor, the job is to appoint someone to track her down and get her the money and I think it can be as bland as you’ve inherited money from “Ms Smith” and it’s up to her if she wanted to figure out who “Ms Smith” is to her.

What I am not following is why the money needs to go from the estate to the two siblings, then to the third sibling. Surely it justs goes directly to 3 siblings?

If the sister has been raised in a lie, that isn't the fault of the sisters, and it still doesn't give them the rights to withhold the money.
Plus presumably the sister would have needed to look at their own birth certificate at some point in their life?

@saraclara

Really? Even thought the premise of the thread is how to keep this money from the woman?

we have never met this woman, and are both in agreement that this would possibly turn her world upside down and be very distressing, particularly as we don't know the full circumstances surrounding the divorce, custody battle etc.

we have decided that for now, we are going to put a pin in it. Essentially the plan is to be paid half each, then each put a third into a joint savings account for our sibling.

I think I get what the OP is saying. That this sister may have been raised to think her stepmother was her biological mother. And inheriting a pile of cash from her biological mother opens that can of worms and may cause great distress and upheaval.

I took the word estranged to mean that the other sister chose not to see her mother again, rather than was taken by her father when she was too young to remember her mother.

...followed by:

"We can then take some breathing space to decide how and when to contact her"

Her third should be held in an account until she can be found (or her children if she has died) in the event of her already having died without children then you would need to seek legal advice. There's a specialist band account for this sort of thing

@saraclara

And all the stuff about the other sisters UC etc?

The title of the thread is literally asking how to store it.

These are in no hurry to contact the woman and they have no right to withhold and store her inheritance.

The solicitor can arrange to find your older sibling. The solicitor should also have a 'client account' where the money can be stored until the sibling is traced. It is where they would have stored all the money if they were acting as executors for your mother's estate.

One spanner is if she was adopted by The step mother? In which case she does not inherit.

Else track her down and give her 1/3. Anything else risks you being sued for not doing it correctly

The third sibling is at least in her 40’s and potentially older if the marriage broke up in the 70’s. I think OP’s approach is patronising in the extreme!

There are no circumstances in which this money should ever not OP or her sister’s bank accounts.

What if the sister on benefits find herself in dire financial need at some point and have to make the choice between feeding their children/losing the roof over their heads or dipping into this money? Can anyone really say that the money would not be “borrowed” and not be able to be repaid. OP as executor will be liable in those circumstances as the money should never have been distributed in this way.

OP you need to do the right thing and instruct someone to trace your missing sister and give her the money at the same time as you and your sister receive yours. If you aren’t in the right head space to meet her, then you don’t need to do so but you can’t choose to keep her money from her.

Is Scottish law is the same as English then the estate must be split three ways. Hire a private investigator or solicitor to find the woman and the estate pays for it.

This is such an odd situation. It's usually easy to track people these days

Legally would not inherit. Morally, that's another question.

In 2023 a professional will be able to find this sibling. I presume you know their full name and date of birth? Even if you don't have that basic info, they can still be found. Are they even alive still?

The problem with 'storing' it is that you will have an emergency, the house floods, a too good to miss business investment. And just like that, it's whittled down to nothing. And you would therefore have stolen from your mother's estate.

Why can’t the solicitor track her down? Or a private investigator on their/ your behalf?

I didn’t read it as estranged in the context of an adult - I assumed, perhaps wrongly, the sibling was a child at the time.

it will be interesting to get an update from the OP

This. It isn't up to you to 'put a pin in it' or whatever. Ask your solicitor to make arrangements to track her down and pay her her share.

A private investigator will charge a few hundred pound and probably find her very quickly , you shouldn't be discussing where her money is stored meanwhile .

All very strange. Just ask the solicitor for advice to forward it on? Too messy to split into thirds, hold for x amount.

When I write that out, I kind of guess your adding complexity hoping she won't be able to get it/won't want t?

So its up to you to decide when this 3rd sibling gets their money op??

Heard it, as we say here

Why can't you just pay her it? I'd be really pissed off if I were due money as an adult and another adult decided to "put a pin in it"

That's just you though. Plenty of threads on here from people who have been estranged, and won't touch the money.
Maybe that's what the OP is thinking, but even so, that's not her problem.
She can outsource the whole 'contacting and paying' to a professional and wash her hands of it, no need to be in personal contact with the heir, if that's what she wishes,

There are also plenty of people who if they discovered their let had an inheritance which was sitting in their sisters’ bank account and said sisters had made no attempt to find them and give them their money would be straight off to the police alleging theft. I would not want this potential trouble at my door whether or not I had a mumsnet post to refer to which I hoped demonstrated my good intentions…