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Original poster

Paternity leave and benefits when father takes full custody

60 replies

VanillaMango · 08/06/2023 13:01

Hi
I am posting this on behalf of a family friend. He’s recently found out his ex is 28 weeks pregnant and plans to relinquish the baby for adoption which he has said no to and will take custody himself.

Is there an alternative to maternity pay but for fathers that isn’t the 2 weeks paternity leave? If he is only entitled to 2 weeks paternity leave he will likely have to quit work till baby is old enough to be in childcare. He will have full custody of the baby so is he entitled to maternity pay or the equivalent because of him having full custody?

Also based on his wage and rent costs (as he is having to move in to a 2 bed) he will be entitled to a UC top up whilst working.

His ex already has 3 children (not his) so if she was keeping the child, she couldn’t claim for this child due to the limit. However, will he receive the child element or because of her already getting it for her kids and being over the limit means he can’t get it even though it would be the only child on his claim (albeit not his)

Also if he is entitled to the maternity grant, can he claim this despite the fact she already claimed it for her first child in 2014?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 08/06/2023 13:25

No I don't think there is a maternity leave equivalent for men.
Don't think he can claim any maternity grants either

dementedpixie · 08/06/2023 13:26

He could claim child benefit and do his own universal credit claim

Smartiepants79 · 08/06/2023 13:30

I thought men/partners could share parental leave?
He’d need the mother’s cooperation though I’d think.

Reugny · 08/06/2023 13:30

Smartiepants79 · 08/06/2023 13:30

I thought men/partners could share parental leave?
He’d need the mother’s cooperation though I’d think.

Yes they can.

Nursemumma92 · 08/06/2023 13:31

This website looks like it may have helpful info on it, there is also a helpline that your friend could call for advice.
https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/information/becoming-a-single-dad/taking-time-off-work-single-parent/
He will be able to make his own child benefit claim, it shouldn't be affected by her 3 other children.

Taking time off work as a single parent | Gingerbread

https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/information/becoming-a-single-dad/taking-time-off-work-single-parent

TUCKINGFYP0 · 08/06/2023 13:34

He would be better to take unpaid leave from work than quit his job. Then he can go back when his child goes to childcare.

He needs to check his employee handbook as some employers give more than the legal paid minimum after a baby is born.

if his ex is working he can apply to CMS for child support from her ( probably no point if she’s not as he won’t get anything ).

And of course he can get child benefit ( assuming he’s not earning over the limit ). This will also protect his pension if he’s unemployed.

Original poster
VanillaMango · 08/06/2023 13:35

She isn’t working and hasn’t been for years so I’m assuming he could take the full parental leave?

OP posts:
Reugny · 08/06/2023 13:35

Reugny · 08/06/2023 13:30

Yes they can.

Show quote history

He can take 37 weeks of statutory paid shared parental leave if the mother gives him the MATB1 form. He can't have 39 weeks as 2 weeks are for the mother to heal. However he can have 2 weeks paternity leave which means he can take 39 weeks paid off in total.

Statutory paid shared parental leave is not a lot and you can't claim extra UC with it.

If his employer gives him enhanced parental leave pay then he can claim that. (My DP did that so ended up in total being of longer than me.)

His employer has no right to demand the mother's details apart from asking for a copy of the MATB1 form. He needs to give them a photocopy and not the original in case they lose it.

Reugny · 08/06/2023 13:35

VanillaMango · 08/06/2023 13:35

She isn’t working and hasn’t been for years so I’m assuming he could take the full parental leave?

See my answer above.

Original poster
VanillaMango · 08/06/2023 13:38

Thank you.

We used a benefit calculator based on his wage (but they didn’t ask his gender) and it says he’s entitled to the child element even when working. Will he be able to get this or would he not be entitled to it considering she has the max number of kids on her claim?

However she won’t be named on this claim obviously.

OP posts:
Reugny · 08/06/2023 13:39

BTW if the mother is handing the child solely over to him then social services need and should to be involved as until the child is registered he isn't legally the recognised as the child's father.

Also another poster on MN mentioned on another thread that fathers where there is no mother involved have difficulty registering newborns with GPs.

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 08/06/2023 13:40

He can make his own separate claim for CB/UC which has nothing to do with hers. If she isn't claiming for the baby, which she can't if it lives with him, then he can.
They didn't ask his sex in relation to a claim because it's irrelevant. Men and women are both entitled to the same things (but not at the same time)

Reugny · 08/06/2023 13:40

VanillaMango · 08/06/2023 13:38

Thank you.

We used a benefit calculator based on his wage (but they didn’t ask his gender) and it says he’s entitled to the child element even when working. Will he be able to get this or would he not be entitled to it considering she has the max number of kids on her claim?

However she won’t be named on this claim obviously.

As they don't live together they aren't one household and she is excluded from his benefit claims.

dementedpixie · 08/06/2023 13:40

He cant take shared parental leave as she isn't working. She would end maternity leave early to allow him to take leave. If she isn't working he can't do that.

Followill · 08/06/2023 13:42

Your friend needs a family solicitor by the sounds of it.

dementedpixie · 08/06/2023 13:43

@Reugny as his ex is not employed then there is no leave to share so he isn't entitled to take shared parental leave.

ArcticSkewer · 08/06/2023 13:46

Has he approached his HR department to ask? They may have additional policies beyond the legal minimum.

I also wouldn't assume she will go through with this plan - it might be a good idea to have a back up plan for shared care parenting if she does

TUCKINGFYP0 · 08/06/2023 13:49

Reugny · 08/06/2023 13:39

BTW if the mother is handing the child solely over to him then social services need and should to be involved as until the child is registered he isn't legally the recognised as the child's father.

Also another poster on MN mentioned on another thread that fathers where there is no mother involved have difficulty registering newborns with GPs.

If he is on good terms with the mother he can ask to go along with her to register the birth, then he will be on the BC. She might be willing to do this asap after the birth to avoid any hassle for her . It means he can register baby at GP etc.

He might be able to persuade her to register the baby with his surname, which would be useful.

And of course he can take the child after birth and care for it - lots of grandparents do this in some circumstances . He still is the child’s father.

why would he need a solicitor or social services ? As soon as he’s on the Bc he has all the same rights as a mother in the same situation.

YouveGotAFastCar · 08/06/2023 13:51

@VanillaMango Does the “albeit not his” in your initial post mean the baby is not biologically your friends?

It is likely to make a difference in terms of process.

Original poster
VanillaMango · 08/06/2023 13:54

No the unborn child is his, he paid for a prenatal paternity test to confirm.

However she has 3 other kids aged 2-8 who are not his.

OP posts:
GCWorkNightmare · 08/06/2023 13:55

Reugny · 08/06/2023 13:35

He can take 37 weeks of statutory paid shared parental leave if the mother gives him the MATB1 form. He can't have 39 weeks as 2 weeks are for the mother to heal. However he can have 2 weeks paternity leave which means he can take 39 weeks paid off in total.

Statutory paid shared parental leave is not a lot and you can't claim extra UC with it.

If his employer gives him enhanced parental leave pay then he can claim that. (My DP did that so ended up in total being of longer than me.)

His employer has no right to demand the mother's details apart from asking for a copy of the MATB1 form. He needs to give them a photocopy and not the original in case they lose it.

Show quote history

Doesn’t the mother have to be eligible for SMP though? She doesn’t work. She would also have to take the first 2 weeks of leave legally.

dementedpixie · 08/06/2023 13:56

@YouveGotAFastCar I think OP means the other 2 kids aren't his and wouldn't be on his claim

Or am I wrong and he isn't the biological father @VanillaMango ?

dementedpixie · 08/06/2023 13:56

GCWorkNightmare · 08/06/2023 13:55

Doesn’t the mother have to be eligible for SMP though? She doesn’t work. She would also have to take the first 2 weeks of leave legally.

Show quote history

He totally can't have shared parental leave if she is unemployed

cupofdecaf · 08/06/2023 13:58

He could look at shared parental leave. She would have to cooperate with him through.

cupofdecaf · 08/06/2023 14:00

Sorry just realised she's not working. There is a kind of unpaid parental leave but he'd need a birth certificate and I don't think it would be long enough.