Do I have to go to court?

[MeImAllSmiles]

xh has just sent papers for me to go to court re access to our children. He has not seen them since December 2006, his choice. Children do not want to see him and have communicated this on numerous occasions. So, do I HAVE to attend (will be terrified of seeing x again) or can I just leave it and hope it goes away or write to court explaining our situation rather than attending?

What do your papers say? Is there any mention that you have to appear in person?

Have you got a solicitor?

Definitely wouldn't do nothing.

Don't have a solicitor. Papers say - You should attend when the court hers the application at blah blah blah.

It is prob in your best interest to attend tbh...at least that way you will know what is going on. It would be a good idea to instruct a solicitor.

Don't ignore it. If you do then the court will only have his side of the story and will prob make the order. You're far better dealing with it now.

It can be quite difficult to fight contact (access) applications. How old are the children? The older they are the more likely that their views will carry weight.

Get a solicitor if you can.

Don't ignore it, you have to go to court. Either get a solicitor if you can, or at least someone else who can come with you and give you some support

children are nearly 9 and 13. They have actually phoned him today and said that he can't force them to see him!!! So I'm thinking that if he does get the order then it will be a waste of time, he knows this but just won't believe it.

If that is really how the children feel then the court will listen to them. They have a duty to best serve the welfare of the children.

Good point K9, am starting to lose the plot here! For some strange reason he has made the hearing in the court in the next county, so I have to drive for an hour or so just to see his rotten face and listen to his whining!

K9 is right but remember that the test is the welfare of the children not necessarily what the children want. I'd be surprised if the court would force a 13 yr old to see a parent against their will (the family courts are quite pragmatic and don't tend to make pointless orders) the 9 yr old may be more of an issue... they might adjourn for reports.

Just go along and explain the situation to the judge as calmly as possible. Also, try not to criticise your ex beyond explaining why the girls don't want to see him (unless there has been abuse - you shouls always explain that). You don't wnat your ex to be able to say that you've been turning the children against thim.

You can ask for the case to be transferred to your local court. Don't bother with a solicitor - you can represent yourself and save a fortune. Just be honest and child centred in your response (not badmouthing the ex - just explain the history and the current problem with re-starting contact). They won't (can't) order any contact without your agreement if you tell them the kids are against it. They will have to order a CAFCASS report to give guidance to the court, and that means up to six months wait.

Thank you for the replies. Have text exh to say that I am not available that week (have to be in hospital with dsd for biopsy), should I assume he is re-arranging or should I get in touch with the court?

was he a really horrible dad?

seems v. strange that children don'twant to see father. was i anabusive relationship?

You must deal with it - the court can make orders wthout you attending, but will be sympthetic to your concerns (and those of the children) if you do. DON'T just ignore them.