I think part of your feeling unsure what to do with the money, as that you don’t have a clear financial goal you are working towards. And then a plan to met the goal. Once you have these, where to put the money would be easier, as you are meeting your planned steps on the way to your goal. I would spend a bit of time working out this first.
Most people’s overall goal is to get to retirement age (say 65) with no debts, a paid for house, and enough in pension/savings to give them an income throughout retirement at the level they want. Assuming this is you, then something like Dave Ramsay’s baby steps would get you there. Read up on them, but to me that seems like it would be:
(first set aside $XX for your remembrance)
- save £1000 emergency fund
- pay off all debt except your house
- save 3 months worth of living expenses as an emergency fund (£1000 step one is part of this)
- contribute 15% of your income towards pension on an ongoing basis
- save for kids college (big in the US - less so here. I’d suggest making this help with kids house deposits instead, and doing it AFTER your house is paid off)
- pay off your house
- live and give generously
In relation to some of your specifics, you have been funding your kids to date from your salary, so I would continue to do so from your current income, NOT this windfall. Work on the house - pay it off first, then save to fix it up in stages. If you follow the above steps, a large portion of this money will go towards your mortgage, meaning you’ll have it paid off much sooner and then be mortgage free, OR if you lower your repayments, you’ll have more day-to-day money, and can cash flow the work to be done in the house. Either way, this is a more secure position to be in than to not spend it on the mortgage and instead fix the house.
I know what I have suggested it very boring.
I know it would be tempting to say ‘we only live once! Let’s make memories!’ But perhaps instead think, how your Mum’s money could be used as one last act of maternal love, and give you and your family long term stability, a boost towards retirement, and an emergency fund to see you through life’s worst moments.