Would I have to pay for this?

[turnthetoiletpaperroundproperly]

Hello
Over 25 years ago I got divorced and walked away with what I stood up in.My ex husband divorced me and I was happy to walk away.All good,Fast forward to last week with no contact previously he contacts me to say do I still have our divorce papers? I do not. He then tells me he does not either,Both of us are remarried to other people but he says he needs the divorce papers as he has tried to track the papers down but the solicitors he used has died oh goodness a right tale he spun,Apparently when I walked out we had an endowment mortgage which has come to be paid out but its in our joint names and he needs to get this money but the company will not release it to him as they have no proof it has to go to him alone to pay of the home,Now he can have the lot I dont care but he has since instructed a solicitor to get me to sign it over to him .This is where my query lays if anyone can help.I will sign over so he can have the cash to pay off the house I am not asking for anything as I didnt pay anything but I have to send off this huge document with my change of name.marriage certificate etc etc they will only accept this from another solicitor if they have been verified etc, His solicitor suggested and recommended I use a solicitor to do this for me,I asked him as its his issue issue to pay for my legal expense which should be not a lot I would guess to help me get the documents to his team.Why should it cost me money is my question? I will have to gather documents,my personal private documents to fend and prove who I am etc then pay out for solicitors to act when none of this is my fault and take time off work to do this. He has said no he is not paying,In doing this though he is loosing out as the bank is on his back to settle the mortgage which I am not on but the insurance company will not release any money to him , Am I being unreasonable to say if you wont pay it stuff you it will stay as it is? He has waltzed in and caused me stress through o fault o f my own and then to add insult to injury he demands I pay for it? Can any one legally inclined advise me which way to go as it seems so unfair to me.He can have the policy I will take my name off it which i didnt even know was on it all these years but why should it cost me money I dont have? Any ideas please I am so worried about this, Thank you

<Caveat> I have no legal knowledge.

Just talking morally, I think you are right (if you still think you should not have any claim on it - I personally can't understand why you don't have any claim on any assets from the marriage, but I know that isn't what you are asking). If he has lost paperwork, and he is the only beneficiary of you gathering all the paperwork and getting a solicitor, then obviously you shouldn't be out of pocket for that.

I just dont have the money to spend on solicitors. I am not benefitting from any of this nor do I wish to but equally if it takes me to get him out of this hole he has got in then I feel it wouldnt hurt him to pay my costs,Costs which help him. I think he is being morally wrong too expecting me to do that. I walked away didnt want anything but to be free he was taking care of everything and I trusted him to do that,he obviously didnt and now he has turned up turning my world upside down..its horrible.

I cannot imagine a scenario where you would need to do this much work at your own expense without expecting to be compensated. I would stick to your guns and send an invoice for your time in submitting this package. He is clearly a chancer

Thank you both for your support and advice. I really am greatful for your time in answering .

If you have to go to a solicitor/ other professional which is chargeable then he should cover those costs as you are only having to do it for his benefit- and please don’t pay up front on the basis he will pay you back as you’ll never see it, either he pays the lawyer direct and pays you in advance/ when you hand over the paperwork (explain it to the lawyer, they will get it).
On you time that less standard, but if he needs a favour and you have to take time off I think you’re in the stronger position, so just tell him what you want.

Thank you. I dont want anything except for him to pay my out of pocket expenses. He paid all these years for the policy to cover the mortgage so its his money but he didnt take my name off the policy with the insurers so they wont pay him out. I would have thought too I wasnt being unreasonable but he says I am.

Of course you shouldn’t pay 🤣
Honestly, you’ve got yourself into a right old spin, probably because of your history with him.
Tell you’re happy to do it, but he needs to find a solicitor with Saturday appointments (sound like you work Mon-Fri?) and pay for the work on account - directly to the solicitor in advance.
Do not invoice him.
He won’t pay.
Tell him to set up and pay for the appointment. Do not attend it until you’ve seen an email firstly from the solicitor telling you that the cost is being charged to him.

I think if I do that and he still refuses then I am worried it will escalate where I will get into trouble for obstructing and incur myself more costs I cannot afford. I feel like telling him to pay for my legal stuff or stuff the lot and leave it as it is with him not being able to be paid out! But I dont think I would be brave enough!!!

This is exactly what you should do. Either he pays solicitor on account or you walk away. You are not obliged to do anything.

If you are legally entitled to the money as he did not remove you from the policy, he is extremely fortunate you are happy to sign it over.

Personally, i would ask the insurance company to pay the proceeds into my solicitor's client account, they could then deduct their fee for the work and transfer the remaining balance.

Tell him to pay £65 (or less if he knows the court name) to find the divorce certificate and final order online

www.gov.uk/copy-decree-absolute-final-order

Or tell him to get the endowment company to settle the mortgage directly, if it was linked to the mortgage.

Don't stress about it though - he hasn't turned your world upside down like you said, he's just a bloke you used to be married to and haven't seen for 25 years who has no hold over you whatsoever. You didn't even need to reply to him in the first place and he would have had to apply to court himself to get paid out in your absence. It's tough shit that he lost the divorce papers but it's not your problem (although surprising thar neither of you have the papers as I assumed you would always need to keep them).

Thank you all for your advice. Your common sense has made me feel so much better. I feel like a weight has been lifted this morning thanks to all of you x

It might be a good idea to post this in legal matters too op (if you haven’t already). I definitely agree, if he wants this then he pays for it, it’s not your problem.

Love your username by the way, that’s a long running niggle in our house🙄

I was in a very similar situation OP.

My name was in an endowment which was intended to pay off a mortgage. We divorced and my name was removed from the mortgage but not the endowment. I stopped contributing payments.

My ex asked me if I'd relinquish my right to any (small) payout when the endowment matured. All I had to do was write a letter and sign it with a witness.

Job done.

Are you sure that wouldn't be sufficient in your case?

Hi Gazelda
It wouldnt be possible to do that the insurance company say.Their reasoning is that since I remarried they need my marriage certificate etc and proof of change of name. His solicitors advise me to get my certificates etc authenticated by my solicitor. I havent heard from my ex husband for nearly 30 years! I wouldnt know him now if I fell over him. I am so happy for him to benefit from the policy and I will do all I can to facilitate this for him but I am not paying for it as I do not have the funds to do so. He demands I pay for rectifying this situation which I knew nothing about.

OP just curious - how did he manage to contact you after 30 years? Are you very visible on social media?

He found me on facebook. I have no objections to that bit as I am fairly open with no secrets!

If the underlying issue is that you've both lost the divorce papers that recorded the asset split then he can contact the court that issued them and for a small fee get a duplicate copy.

Stick to your guns, what's he going to do, take you to court to make you pay for his fuck up, nope!
He sets up a solicitor at a time and place that's convenient for you, you receive an email from said solicitor stating that he's paying and there's no charge to you then you'll be happy to help.
Rinse and repeat every time.
You don't owe him anything and you're not responsible for sorting this out, he pays or you don't help.
Also ignore any instructions from his solicitor stating that you have to pay, remember he pays his solicitor to say what he wants them to.
Be strong.

I would tell him he has three options:

1. he pays for your legal advice and you will do what is needed;
2. he doesn’t pay for your legal advice, nothing further is done and he can’t sort the mortgage; or
3. he doesn’t pay for the legal advice, pushes you harder to pay for it yourself, and you will instruct solicitors to go after your share of the policy.

That should help focus his mind!

Thank you all. I am enjoying radio silence at the moment from his demands , This means he is pondering his next step but thanks to you all I now know mine for a change.So unnecessary in my view if he would only be reasonable, but thanks to you all I am not the one who is under pressure anymore. You will never know how greatfuI am for your wisdom x