Feel anxious having money and need to spend it all ASAP - is this common?

[Jungleblur]

I budget meticulously but as soon as I get paid I’m filled with anxiety and can’t stop thinking about the money in my bank. I pay all my bills and try to ignore/save what’s left but after a few hours it becomes completely overwhelming and I have to find go and find things to buy so that I have no money to manage, only then can I relax and feel calm.

I think I might have OCD so I’m not sure if it could be related to that, but wanted to know if anyone else deals with money in this way? I know most people are in debt so I wondered if maybe this was a common feeling. There’s no FOMO or being bad with money though, I just feel totally uncomfortable having money.

It’s affecting my life really badly for obvious reasons, it means that I can’t save and I’m often left unable to afford food or have nothing left for petrol because I just had to get it out of my bank.

Anyone ever dealt with this, or have any idea how I can overcome it?

I got paid on Thursday and I’ve spent £480, I have hardly anything to show for it. I only have £350 left for the month for food and anything unexpected, but I’m panicking about it and feel the urge to just find something to buy tonight so that this feeling of panick goes away.

Can you open a savings account with another bank and transfer the bulk of what you've got left after bills into that every month? Then it is out of sight out of mind because its not linked to tour current account app or website?

I'm haven't experienced what you're describing, but what helps me budget is having several current accounts with my main bank and separating funds into them on payday. So I have one account which all the bills come out of, one for food and petrol money, and another for everyday spending, and my main savings are then with another bank so that I don't get to see them when Im checking the balances on my current accounts and don't view them as available money.
Once I've transfered money into the food and petrol account I know that I can only use that money for food or petrol, so it helps to keep that budget separate and I can keep on top of how much is left.

Yes, move the money you want to save to a savings account.

Also separate the money you have for the month into separate accounts or pots within the same account.

One for direct debits

One for essentials like food, petrol or transport and any planned purchases like school uniforms or other essentials

One for the money you can spend on non essentials. Convince yourself that this is the only money you have. You can spend this but no more. When it runs out, you have to stop spending until next month.

Agree, have a regular saver account so you transfer say £100 pm just after payday. What have you spent it on?

Hello, that does strike a chord OP. I have that a bit. It used to be worse before I had kids. I’ve found it helpful to have everything except immediate bills direct debited into a separate bank account from my everyday and my bills accounts, in an entirely separate bank for which I have only phone banking set up. Then I have to actually ask someone for my money to be transferred to the other bank in order to use it, which is a bit of a check on my otherwise itchy PayPal finger.

Can you lock some away in an account that requires more effort to withdraw it? I find premium bonds useful for this

This is me. Will raft in hope of some advice as it's ruining my life x

Setting up separate pots within my main account actually makes the anxiety even worse, strangely.

Opening a completely separate account is a great idea though, my town centre is a pain to get to so I probably wouldn’t bother going for my money if I had to go in branch for it unless it was an absolute emergency!

Thanks for the suggestion as I’ve just googled it and spotted that NatWest has a £200 switching bonus, perfect!

I filled the fridge, freezer and cupboards up (this isn’t included in the £480) but then ordered us 5 takeaways in 2 days. I’ve bought loads of fancy facemasks, several different moisturisers, some MAC makeup, several different flavours of protein powder, load of toys at smyths and some new headphones. I didn’t need any of this and will probably give most of it away unopened within a few months because I have this same anxiety around clutter, everything just needs to be gone and clean and perfect all the time 🤦🏻‍♀️

How do you set up premium bonds? I’ve heard a lot about them but was under the impression that they were more for people who have thousands already in savings

In all honesty, I don't think this is especially common. I also don't agree that "most people are in debt" if you exclude mortgages.

In any case, it doesn't matter what other people do. You need to have something in savings if you can. You could be onto something with the OCD... do you have in the back of your mind that "0" is a nice round number and therefore you have to get back to it?

Could you set a target for savings maybe? Like decide that you want to put in £200 per month, or you want to get to £5000 or some nice round number?

It may well be worth seeing your GP about OCD, if you're thinking it's potentially an issue. Talk it through with them and see what they say. OCD is difficult because it's quite insidious; a lot of the behaviours can look like "good" things on the surface, but actually cause issues further down the line.

@clpsmum its awful isn’t it, I wouldn’t have any money worries if my mind would just bloody calm down for a minute.

Do you have OCD, PTSD, a neurodivergency or any kind of anxiety disorder?

This is what I do - I've set up an NS&I bond online solely so I don't see the money is there!

Ah this is what I did. You can start with £25 on the NS&I website.

Or a 1 year fixed bond if you know for sure you won't need the money. Then you'll have to do the same in a years time

Can you return any of those things?

Gets them out of the house but you get the money back.

I think some counselling would really help you.

Not judging. It's good you've recognised.there is an issue.

I get spendy if I am feeling down/stressed so lock most of my money away (premium bonds, mortgage overpayments etc) and just keep a little pocket money for myself.

Go to NSI - https://www.nsandi.com/

The minimum amount you can pay in at a time is £25. Small holdings are less likely to win but the good thing is that if you want the money out it takes a few days to come across and i find that stops most impulse spends -plus i tend to forget the money is there

Hi OP I feel exactly the same - I've articulated it to friends/ family as needing to get it away from me as quickly as possible because I just feel so guilty spending it, and thinking about it going down stresses me out so much. I wonder, if like me, you came from a family where money was a massive struggle? My dad died young (50s) but in that time was made redundant 5 times, set up 2 businesses which both failed, I heard him articulate he wanted to kill himself. Having said that, my siblings are both great with money. 🤷I am the anxious one generally though.

Surely opening a saving account won’t fix the underlying issue, the problem you have with anxiety?
The cycle of overspending and then purging what you’ve bought for ‘tidy’ reasons sounds destructive, similar to an ED.
Perhaps it makes you feel more in control.
I think therapy will be beneficial.

Can you return some of the items you have bought? Is this spending pattern leaving you short on essentials for rest of the month? When you get the impulse to spend can you delay your ability to do so for a day and rethink. Or try to restrict yourself to say £100 a week?

Would it help if you only used a credit card for spending which is then paid by DD so you never look at your bank account? If you look at your credit card balance, you will always be in debit?

I would start with a visit to your GP and tell them what you’ve said here and see if you can be referred for CBT or perhaps there is some charity/group offering support

I'd see if you can access some support for your anxiety, it's wild to waste money just because of your anxiety, but understand its also something you can't help currently.

I would definitely arrange some counselling, but there may be a more complex mental health issue going on, so seeing your GP would be a good idea.

Money wise, can you buy a supermarket gift card of like £400 at the start of each month, so at least that's locked away8k and can be spent on food over the month?

Finding something else to satisfy that restless feeling that comes before the spending would be helpful, like some form of exercise or another active hobby. Distraction techniques, something to manage the anxiety? Therapy definitely worth trying though, it would be better to spend £200 a month on a good therapist/some CBT sessions than on stuff you don't need.