Really need some debt help.

[Moneymoneymoney24]

I’m so embarrassed to even write this, but I have got myself into quite a bit of debt; approx 14k.

Abit of background, I’ve never been good with money, growing up we were really poor and my mother was really frugal so I have no idea why I’m like this.

for the first time in my life I’m in a well paid (for me) job. I’m earning more than I ever have, £1800 after tax. Am married and partner earns approx the same, but we keep finances seperate so no joint account -my choice. We split bills evenly. We’re lucky that we moved house approx 18 months ago and got a really good interest rate and didn’t borrow as much as the bank were prepared to lend, so our mortgage payments are ok - £580 a month.

Husband has no debt other than mortgage so the debts are all mine. I’ve compiled a spreadsheet of everything in terms of my debts: I’m paying £230 just minimum payments on credit cards a month, £200 a month on a loan (which will be cleared in 3 years), am in my overdraft every month (clear it on payday then back in it by the end of the month) so am also paying a monthly charge for that.

I just don’t know how to tackle it. I have 3 weeks before I get paid and have 120 pounds left - this needs to cover my half of the food shop, fuel costs and car insurance - other bills have already been paid. This happens every month, sometimes I have a few pounds left and that’s it. I know the cost of living has gone up, but I don’t think I can blame my situation on that. A few years ago I had started to make extra payments and it started decreasing but I seem to not be in a position to do this anymore.

I feel so stupid, I can’t believe that in my late 30’s, earning more money than I ever have (through hard work) that I’m in this position and feel terrible I can’t offer my DC more fun days out etc. Its not that the money is going on luxury items such as holidays etc, we haven’t had a holiday for years - went abroad once 12 years ago. This is in no way a goady post, I know there are people out there much worse off than me but I would really like to tackle the debt. I don’t want to do anything that would impact my credit score so no DMP’s or IVA’s - I want to pay it off, cut up the cards and never get credit again.

does anyone have any ideas, or has been in a similiar position and got out of it?

The only was out of this is to get help and debt management plan. This will tank your credit rating for a while, but in the long term its much safer than trying to tackle this yourself

This is bloody awful advice.

A DMP is an absolute last resort and will tank your credit rating for years - sometimes upwards of a decade.

There are so many other options that can and should be explored before a DMP - it's NOT and easy or desirable option and shouldn't be taken lightly. A good budget. Borrowing from family or DH. Selling things. A second job. Debt snowballing.

How did the debt build up, OP? What was it spent on? Did you always contribute 50-50 to living costs when you couldn’t afford it, or have you been in charge of buying kids clothes and presents and etc. Do you do more childcare?

Because the way I see it, you’re married and unless you spent all that money just on yourself alone (& presumably your DH would have noticed that) then it’s a family debt.

It’s no use him having disposable income and a great credit rating when you’ve got a huge debt at 29.9% APR and no way of changing it. He needs to help you.

Get in touch with Step Change debt advice charity. they will be able to talk you through the best course of action of your situation - they make no charge. They might even get your debts written off. But I do think you need to discuss your financial state of affairs with your husband - a problem shared and all that.