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Original poster

Is dh being a dick?

13 replies

Ruthlegs · 02/05/2023 17:07

Hi

My dh earns twice what I earn so we reflect this in what we pay towards our house costs. He pays the mortgage, C tax and utility bills and I pay for the food, kids stuff and car fuel.

After he has paid for all of his stuff he has about £720 left over. This is pure disposable income that he can do what he wants with. He thinks that this is not enough and that it doesn't go far.

I think he needs a reality check

AIBU?

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 02/05/2023 17:09

🤷‍♀️

karmakameleon · 02/05/2023 17:09

Where would any extra money for him come from? Presumably if he got more, you and the children would get less? Does he think that would be fair?

Motnight · 02/05/2023 17:09

How much money do you have left over?

Original poster
Ruthlegs · 02/05/2023 17:09

karmakameleon · 02/05/2023 17:09

Where would any extra money for him come from? Presumably if he got more, you and the children would get less? Does he think that would be fair?

god knows

OP posts:
blahblahblah1654 · 02/05/2023 17:10

He needs to find a higher paying job if he's moaning. That's loads left over

Original poster
Ruthlegs · 02/05/2023 17:10

Motnight · 02/05/2023 17:09

How much money do you have left over?

About £450 which I think is absolutely fine

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 02/05/2023 17:11

Do either of you save anything?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/05/2023 17:11

You should both have the same personal spends.

Are you expected to pay for anything for the kids out of your personal leftovers?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/05/2023 17:12

I think you should both have £500pcm and the other £200 goes into savings.

Original poster
Ruthlegs · 02/05/2023 17:15

GrazingSheep · 02/05/2023 17:11

Do either of you save anything?

Yes we save £250 per month - we look at that as one of our outgoings so it's not included in the disposable money

OP posts:
blahblahblah1654 · 02/05/2023 17:16

Me and my husband always share disposable income and he makes a fair bit more than me. I don't understand people who are married with kids not sharing.

HermioneWeasley · 02/05/2023 17:23

Why do you earn less - do you do more for the house or the kids? In that situation IMO both parents should have equal disposable income a month so he should be giving you £150.

is he suggesting you should have even less so he can have more?

BarbaraofSeville · 02/05/2023 17:23

If you earn less because you do more at home, that's an unfair arrangement, especially as it's likely you're actually spending some of your money, which is lower in the first place on DC.

Plus, saving £250 pm for a family with a reasonable income isn't very much. That would buy a fairly average holiday, but not leave anything for all manner of other essential expenses like insurance, car repairs and replacement, Christmas, white goods replacement etc etc. How do you pay for all these things?

But £720 pm is a huge amount of personal spending money, what does he spend it on if he thinks it's not enough?

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