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Original poster

Leaving the mortgage

19 replies

Ducksinarow1987 · 23/04/2023 07:27

So he's buying me out but I can't stay any longer. I'm going to leave and rent now (there is domestic abuse)

I need to know what practical things I need to do before I go? I need to be taken off any bills, who does this him or me? Do I need to let the mortgage company know anything?

I can't count on ex to be fair so I need to be smart

OP posts:
KateyCuckoo · 23/04/2023 07:45

He'll need a new mortgage in his own name, you can't just be taken off the loan. The bank lent you both the money so you will both be liable.

Original poster
Ducksinarow1987 · 23/04/2023 09:40

He says he will buy me out. I need to go now. Could he force me to pay the mortgage before he buys me out?

OP posts:
BranchGold · 23/04/2023 09:44

You are currently both jointly liable for the mortgage, and will be until the current mortgage ends, you are bought out and he has a single mortgage in his name only.

are the police involved? I think it’s a very good idea to have the domestic abuse ‘logged’ to protect you as much as possible physically and financially.

Original poster
Ducksinarow1987 · 23/04/2023 09:47

There are several services involved. I desperately need to leave. I'm scared he's going to try to control me further by delaying buying me out or saying I have to pay half til he does when I just want to get away from him

OP posts:
KateyCuckoo · 23/04/2023 09:56

Leaving and being on the mortgage are different things though. You should leave today if you are in danger. Other things can be sorted later.

Original poster
Ducksinarow1987 · 23/04/2023 09:59

But how will I afford it if he tries to call me accountable for my half (to be fair this mortgage amount will be will be less than what he will have to pay when he buys me out)

OP posts:
Mingusthebrave · 23/04/2023 10:09

When you move out, your name is still on the mortgage so you are still tied to that.
However, when you move out, he will have enjoyment of the whole house, including your 'half', so effectively he should be paying you rent to use your half, which you can waive in lieu of him paying your half of the mortgage.
Probably none of this has any legal standing and I am not remotely qualified to offer any legal advice at all but this could at least give you some moral firepower and a different viewpoint when debating how responsibilities could work once you leave.

Original poster
Ducksinarow1987 · 23/04/2023 10:12

@Mingusthebrave yes it's true. Thanks for that viewpoint and if he wanted to sue me I can cite the behaviour surely? Plus the verbal agreement to buy me out

OP posts:
GCWorkNightmare · 23/04/2023 10:14

A verbal agreement is worth the paper its
written on.

What could you prove if it came to court?

Sunny24 · 23/04/2023 10:16

You will need to get the house valued, the bank usually likes to do this.
He will then need to speak to the bank to see if they are prepared to loan him the full amount outstanding.
If they’re not, he can go to a mortgage broker who may help him find a bank who will loan him a mortgage for the full amount.
You each then need to appoint a solicitor to complete the transfer of equity forms.

Sunny24 · 23/04/2023 10:17

Mingusthebrave · 23/04/2023 10:09

When you move out, your name is still on the mortgage so you are still tied to that.
However, when you move out, he will have enjoyment of the whole house, including your 'half', so effectively he should be paying you rent to use your half, which you can waive in lieu of him paying your half of the mortgage.
Probably none of this has any legal standing and I am not remotely qualified to offer any legal advice at all but this could at least give you some moral firepower and a different viewpoint when debating how responsibilities could work once you leave.

You are spot on legally! 😁

Motheranddaughter · 23/04/2023 12:03

How much equity is in the house
As pps have said you are jointly liable for the mortgage and need the consent of the mortgage company to come off the mortgage

seekingasimplelife · 23/04/2023 13:44

Leaving is the best thing for you to do if you are in danger of abuse. There will be time to sort the financial side of things later.

Is legal ownership of the house joint tenants or tenants in common?
This might make a difference to the best course of action once you have left and any possible impact on credit rating for you and him.

Original poster
Ducksinarow1987 · 23/04/2023 21:27

We jointly own the mortgage. About 100k equity in the house. He has had the valuations done and has hidden them from me though.

OP posts:
justanotherdrama · 23/04/2023 21:36

I'd be getting my own valuations done, it's your house too!!!!

StandingMyGround888 · 23/04/2023 21:39

Leave now. Do you have savings to pay the mortgage directly? Are you able to speak to Womens Aid about this?

Original poster
Ducksinarow1987 · 23/04/2023 21:40

I will speak to them tomorrow. I brought my mum back to support me but now he's bullied her and she wants to go home 😩

OP posts:
Original poster
Ducksinarow1987 · 24/04/2023 16:03

It's as I thought. He is trying to stop me going by saying I will need to pay my half of the mortgage. He'll do anything to stop me going it seems. I found a place and waiting to hear the success of my application. At this point I think I'm just going to have to go and then try to muddle through this with a solicitor

OP posts:
Outnumbered99 · 25/04/2023 11:16

The most important thing has to be to make yourself safe OP. I can't believe your mu would leave you alone- could she loan you a few months half-rent payments?
Your safety has to be the most important thing, please stay safe

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