18yo big lump sum – how to handle?

[stealersmealdeal]

My DS turns 18 soon and we have about 5 grand to give him that we've been saving since he was little. He's vaguely aware there is several thousand on the way, but not the exact amount.

I just wondered what others have done to approach this, in terms of making sure he doesn't fritter it away? Have you put conditions on how your DC spend something like this, or just let them loose and hope they were sensible with it? Have you made suggestions they have taken you up on – eg partly investing some of it – or have they ignored advice and bought themselves a fast car?! 😱He's working hard at the moment, and will go to uni in autumn, but live at home, so no accomm costs, at least.

Any genius tips gratefully received.

The problem is if they have money saved in a child trust fund or Junior ISA, they have to apply for the money and it can only be paid to them. DS1 got around 5k that his grandparents and then us had saved ( after GP died), and blew it all in his first term at Uni. Ds2 has not spent a penny of his and is a very good saver, DS3 is slowly burning through his in his first year at Uni but not as fast as Ds1. DD will get hers in June, she is quite sensible so I don't worry. I have a friend whose ds1 has gone through 10k in the first term of Uni and can't really account for where it's gone.

That's quite a naive view.
Of course you teach your kids money management as they are growing up. They may well be very sensible with money at 15.
They they go to 6th form / college, meet new influences, maybe fall in love, or start taking drugs and then all the teaching goes out the window.

My dd had £2k in compensation money. It went to her when she was 18. She blew the whole lot on shit clothes (think PLT/Boohoo/Primark), some of which are still hung in her wardrobe with labels on.

If course we advised her to spend wisely, maybe start an ISA with half or £500. It all fell on deaf ears.

Like you op, I have money in an account that I have put away over the years. The idea was to give her that at 18. Having seen what she did with the £2k, I am still sat on it.

Had it been my younger dd, she would have saved it until something came along that she wanted.
They are completely different, one is a saver and the other has to spend every last penny she gets.

How is teaching your child about money management naive？ what a ridiculous comment. Be a role model for your child and show them how you manage your finances、give them pocket money to manage from a young age, teach them how to budget. If you don’t teach them these core skills how will they manage their money when they start work or go on to further study?

@ShanghaiDiva It isn't the teaching that I considered naive, it was the implication that if you do that there will be no issues at 18.

It's a difficult one. I got some money when I was 17 - around a grand, which my mum wanted me to spend on sensible things like driving lessons and a cheap car ( I'm 44, so that was possible back then with that amount 😅). I went to Ibiza and spent the rest on clothes. My mum thought it was stupid, but I had the best holiday ever and those memories will stay with me for life, so I would do the same again if I could go back tbh. You can't put an adult mindset on young people. I think if you want your child to be sensible with the money, it's probably better to give them a bit at 18 and the rest at 25 say.

I came into some money when I was 18 and I went travelling. It was incredible and I have precious memories from that time.

Of course there may be issues but you are still their parent and there to support them to make choices. Assuming they will waste everything because they fall in love or meet new people at sixth form college suggests a very low opinion of the child/young adult. I don’t think the attitude of ‘I have this money for you but don’t trust you to mange it so I’m keeping it until you are 25’ is very helpful. Our role as parents is to teach money management it isn’t something that is miraculously going to happen at age 21

I got my bit of trust money at 18. About 2.5k. I used it to travel before starting my degree.

at 18 they may need guidance and support but really if it’s theirs then give it to them.

Help to buy ISA - put £4k in and government adds £1k can do it every year that funds permit.

Honestly I wouldn't give it to him in a lump sum, 5k isn't actually that much money and it will be gone within the year if you hand it over. Give him £500 to spend on what he wants and then tell him once he has passed his driving test he can choose a car. I came into some money when I was 22, around 10k and it was gone really quickly, I spent most of it travelling which i have amazing memories from, but that money was gone so quickly.

My nearly 18 year old old has some money its in a savings account in my name though its 2k plus 3k from his dad.
Weve stipulated its there for when he buys a car only and to insure it.

He would without a doubt waste it within a year otherwise on take aways, going out, clothes etc.

He's 18, of course he'll blow it all on anything he fancies. He hasn't had to earn it, he's too young to think about how it'd make a useful start to save for a deposit. Tell him he can have it when he's (say) 21 and then he can spend it how he likes. They mature a lot between 18 and 21.

Just hold it back until he is more mature. My mum give me 10K when i was 18. I was sensible, i’m very clever and very responsible. Well thats why I thought. Until the money its in my hand and it seems endless, its a lot. So i spend it for cars, for partying, holiday with my bestfriends and i paid it all. Basically all stupid stuff.

now i have DC and have money for them. I dont even tell them i got money for them. I wont ket them touch the money unless its for down payment for a house.