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Power of attorney abuse?

5 replies

TheJuggleIsReal · 20/04/2023 20:19

my MIL recently died, her sibling was sole power of attorney, over the past couple of years various family members had concerns about this as they felt she wasn't always acting in the best interests of MIL. We tried to raise it with Mil, her sibling and social care as she was severely disabled but it would end up with Mil becoming distressed and insisting she was happy with her sibling being POA so we left it.
Upon MIL's death, we found out my DP was the sole executor of the will.
We closed the bank account earlier this week and asked for statements to check any DD or things we have missed when sorting out the estate.

We found POA had been using the account as her own, racking up between £1500-£2000 outgoings each month not including paying bills, mainly on supermarkets. In the last two years of her life, Mil was housebound and was visited by carers multiple times a day she also lost her appetite and was eating very little so even being generous her shopping costs would have been a maximum of £500 a month. Suggesting POA was spending a minimum of £1000 a month which was not for any benefit of MIL. We can see 5 months of this on the statements we have.

We have no idea what to do, we swing from wanting to call the police to just leaving it and cutting POA out of our life. We don't care about the money, but we are so angry she took advantage for so long when MIL was so trusting of her.
DP is worried POA will harm themselves if they realise they have been found out as it is something they have threatened in the past - he doesn't want that guilt on his conscious.

OP posts:
Eggseggseverywhere · 20/04/2023 20:22

Imo dh owes it to his dm to report the thief.
Your mil trusted them and was financially abused. Get justice.

Mindymomo · 20/04/2023 20:26

If you are going to have to get Probate, the person who had POA will have to provide evidence where all the money went, especially if there’s inheritance tax to pay. I think your DH is going to have to see a Solicitor to get advise.

TheJuggleIsReal · 20/04/2023 20:30

@Mindymomo Mil's estate is very small (£7000 most of which is life insurance) so no need for probate. I think that's what makes it hurt so much more. They were pretty much taking her back down to nothing each month.

OP posts:
Mumof1andacat · 20/04/2023 20:36

I am aware of something like this. You need a solicitor ASAP. It's theft at the end of the day

billyt · 21/04/2023 15:12

Not exactly the same situation, but for some reason my tatty siblings assumed I had POA for my mum. Always happy to leave any bills out for me to sort. If I paid for something I always kept the recipe and a record of what had been bought, why, how paid for etc.

Bloody good job I did, as when my mum died my youngest brother immediately reported me to the Police for abusing POA (which I didn't have/need as my mum was physically, not mentally, struggling. I was more than happy to attend the Police Station with all my paperwork.

My sibling has always been a sneery, jealous bastard, same industry as me but my career has progressed way better than he has managed, so if I had been guilty I would not be able to work in the industry again. He was just trying to ruin me. Sad little twat.

If I was you and with the proof you have, I'd report. If all above board then proof will be had.

What your MIL's sibling does is down to them, not you.

I detest thieves (and my sibling).

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