Advice on money claim - money owed

[strawberrysummer19]

My husbands ' friend ' owes him just over £4,200

Long story short - background

1/ My husband is MD of a self employment since covid started that hasn't worked and now is in a new full time job
2/ He has £4,200 odd in unpaid invoices over 12 month period
3/ this person was a best friend and recently has come to light he has very poor mental health, has lied to my husband and discovered some things that has led him having to part ways sadly
4) he's taken it bad so we've decided to send a formal email asking to pay the money back ( as he ignored our what's app) and even suggested a 12 month payment plan as it's a lot of money for anyone.
5) after ignoring the email ( we are doing weekly chases ) we sent a further whats app asking if any update - his wife has come back saying sorry but he's not in a good way, lucky to be alive and that they are very sorry etc but no commitment to paying anything back
She did say at some point they will look at paying it etc

I think now we should go to money claims but obviously this was a best friend and I understand why my husband is reluctant to

But we need that money. It's our money and we've just had a baby and on mat leave and times are tough

For anyone wanting to know what industry
It's car coatings and he owed a lot more and part pays invoices basically and says ' I'll pay you when I get this job' he gets a job and then has no money ? so I think there's more to it

He let it go on this long as he was a friend and genuinely lesson learned

We've since found out this friend does cocaine and we did know he smokes cannnibis daily but we didn't know about the cocaine.

I don't want to sound judgey and I also don't want to chase someone for money who may be suicidal as his wife has suggested

So I think email contact from now on only and possibly looking at a money claims ?

Can I have some people's thoughts / advice ?

Happy to fill in any gaps as I may have missed some out but this is stressing me out

Thank you all

X

Male suicide due to debts is a very real and very serious thing. Coke and dope habits probably mean poor mental health and they could be causing depression.

The first thing you have to ask yourself, sadly, is would you be able to live with yourself if he committed suicide?

I have a 35 yo friend who has tried to kill himself 3 times in a year due to poor mental health caused by being poor.

We had another friend in his late 30s who succeeded two years ago leaving his wife and 5 yo girl.

I am sorry I cannot advise on the recouping route and I understand times are very tough, I think you have to think very carefully about what you are doing.

My thoughts exactly it's a tough one so maybe have to let it go....

Thing is he has profited from this my husband hasn't
The debt is sitting on his credit card which 0% is coming to an end... my husband has walked away from the business now and has a full time
Job but what about his mental health and how it's affected us. It's a lot of money and we've been enough money problems and as I say with baby and not working we are struggling so it's so hard to know what to do.....

And yes he is definitely depressed, that's very clear - we knew that beforehand hence why we didn't chase for the debt beforehand
We were trying to let himself get sorted which he kept saying he was but sadly it's not
The case

Why don’t you talk to his wife…….

Make it clear that the debt is on a zero pc cc that is coming to an end

Do you know if they are struggling for money? Does he work? Does she? Are they going out? On holidays? Do they own their own home?

The thing is his life is worth more than 4K but I doubt a 4K bill is going to tip him into the abyss

It is rude that they have not offered a repayment schedule and if you know for certain that he has had money and the chance to pay you back but decided not to then I would - after one last warning go to the small claims court because you are going to be paying interest on that money soon!

His wife is the one we are in contact with as he
' can't deal with it '

He works and earns fair money
She is a teaching assistant so probably not lots of money

They have a council house so their rent is fairly cheap £400 for a new build

Holidays / spends probably same as the normal family nothing lavish

He knows it is on a credit card...they were best friends which was sad as he feels like he's lost a friend also

He's done the dirty and told lots of lies almost damaging his reputation but I think it's down to jealousy

My husband has done well and he has just made other choices and the world is against him

He has had to cut ties due to his irrational erratic negative mind - it's not healthy

His mental health, is not your problem. He isn't thinking or worrying about your husbands mental health is he? Send a final notice via registered post and then proceed to the next step. As the saying goes , there are no friends in business.

The first thing you need to tell yourself is you are not this person’s therapist, nor are you a free bank to fund his drugs habit.

If he is in poor mental health, it seems it’s a consequence of the poor choices he has made rather than ‘being poor’.
Your husband sounds like he has been very fair and given his friend lots of leeway - and the friend has taken full advantage instead of appreciating your husband’s efforts to smooth his way.
Just because he is in poor mental health doesn’t mean he hasn’t behaved in an underhand and irresponsible manner, and it certainly doesn’t mean he should be absolved of the consequences of his own actions. He is not a child.

As for recouping the money… does your husband have proof of the debt owed to him? Does the friend have any assets that could be claimed to cover the debt? Is the debt a personal one, or part of a company debt that would have limited liability?
It’s pointless chasing a debt from someone who has no assets and no means to pay.

If he has property, savings, a car - these are assets that could be used to reclaim the amount owing.
I think he has ceased to be a friend when he took advantage of your husband’s generous assistance. I would detach yourselves and treat it purely as a business decision to see if it makes sense to recoup.

Could you approach the wife and ask if she is able to confirm a payment plan and what date the first payment will start or you may have to take it to the courts? I would do this in writing - email with a follow up phone call. I would explain that you need the money due to your change in circumstances & It's not fair that you are owed this money which you need.
We have our own business and are owed a huge amount of money at the moment...it's very frustrating. I use Small claims court probably twice a year when the debt is 100's of days overdue and the client stops communication. It's fairly straightforward and cost about £80 which is added on to the debt along with interest if you wish.

Have you proof of the debt?

Have you gone back to the wife yet? How about contacting her and suggesting a repayment plan.
It sounds like he has been shady with money for a while. It be hard to know if this behaviour is partly due to being depressed or not. I don't think it would stop my trying to get the money back.

I'd consider legal action.

@KievLoverTwo are you for real? Trying to guilt trip the OP.

He owes the money, £4200! He doesn’t get a free pass because of his so called mental health issues.

Yes we have proof
It's for car detailing purchases
My husband has various invoices
Yes we've already suggested a payment plan
First emails / texts were ignored
Then she replied saying a long text about his mental health and they will try as soon as they can etc so not commitment to the payment plan so that's why I'm thinking small claims court

I'm Not sure what assets he has to be honest

Before Small Claims court try and firm up a date for the prepayment plan to start, as she has suggested this . Everything in writing which no doubt will be ignored, then call them as this is the most effective way of getting an answer.

Guilt trip, hardly.

Some people have no idea how prevalent male suicide is. With all the information to hand, OP can make an emotional AND financial decision.

We've decided to do the money Claim

Does anyone know how it works ? So if we win
If that's the right word how do they get him to pay ?

What if he doesn't have it ?

He has one week to agree to a payment plan stating with payment due in 7 days and he's had a months notice with no email back to agree just a formal whats app from his wife saying no need for this, her husband has lost a friend etc etc and they will pay but not sure when - when they are sorted

We've replied saying email for communication now very polite but asking for our money