Tell me about renting!

peacepotty · 2023-04-13T14:30:50+00:00

I'm living with the in laws at the minute and we want to move out asap as I'm pregnant. I'm working part time so saving for a mortgage is a long way off but we do have a small amount saved. I feel embarrassed to rent as it's always been my goal to own a house but is it really as embarrassing as I think? We've put a deposit down for a rental property but I can't help but think I'll regret it but then I love the idea of having my own space with my little family We plan on continuing to save for a deposit when I can return to full time work (Please don't tell me to just keep saving because it's really not an option at the minute due to the price of everything being extortionate)

carriedout · 13/04/2023 15:37

It is normal now to rent, as it is harder than ever to buy a house. The majority of people in the age bracket 25-34 rent.

If you could live with your in-laws while you save, that might be good?

LittleLegsKeepGoing · 13/04/2023 15:59

Why is renting embarrassing? People who rent are generally paying more than they would on a mortgage but can't get the deposit money to make it happen in a lot of cases (because they're paying over the odds). I fail to see how that's embarrassing.

That aside, the rental market is currently brutal. Massive competition for even mediocre properties.

When we were looking a year ago if you called more than an hour after a property was listed you didn't even get to see it.

If you saw it and liked it you'd be put in a pot for the landlord to cherry pick who they wanted based on number of tenants, salary and companies worked for. Children automatically make you a less attractive tenant to most landlords.

From personal experience, saving whilst renting with children is increasingly difficult. If you have the option to stay put and save to buy that's a far better choice than the rental market. But your priorities are your own and I'm not in a position to criticise you for renting, just a warning that for many families it becomes a trap you can't leverage your way out of.

SunnySaturdayMorning · 13/04/2023 16:18

Surely it’s more embarrassing to be staying with family and not providing a roof over your own family’s heads, rented or not?

flipent · 13/04/2023 16:20

What is embarrassing about renting?

purpleme12 · 13/04/2023 16:21

I've never heard of renting being embarrassing!!

ssd · 13/04/2023 16:21

You lost me at 'embarrassed to rent'

Haus1234 · 13/04/2023 16:22

Living in London, the vast majority of people (especially young people) rent. It’s not embarrassing - if anything I find it embarrassing when adults live in their parents house, not buying their own food and having their laundry done for them … (I’m sure this isn’t you but it’s definitely some people!).

Teapleasemilknosugar · 13/04/2023 16:23

SunnySaturdayMorning · 13/04/2023 16:18

Surely it’s more embarrassing to be staying with family and not providing a roof over your own family’s heads, rented or not?

Came to say just this!

FrownedUpon · 13/04/2023 16:27

It’s more embarrassing to still be living with parents or in-laws. Living on your own two feet is a positive thing, renting or not. Why can’t you work full time? No one saves to buy a house on a part time salary.

SecretsIWouldNeverTell · 13/04/2023 16:52

Don't feel embarrassed. I think the days of feeling 'embarrassed' and people making you feel ashamed are behind us. LOADS of people rent their home. It was the late 1980s to the early 2000s that people were made to feel inadequate for renting their home. It was a pathetic attitude then, and it is now... Although, as I say, most people aren't like this now.

Only the truly stupid, pig-ignorant, and small-minded judge people for renting. It's waaaaay better than buying for some, (moreso if it's social housing.) Owning a property/owning a mortgage is a massive ball-ache, it's got an ever-open mouth, you never stop spending on the property, and you never have any fucking surplus cash. THAT is the experience for many. I mean many ordinary people.

I know a couple right now (aged 29,) who have a £155K mortgage, a joint salary of £70K, and they bought a house in Autumn 2020. They were renting a flat from the council, (for £290 a month!) and they deeply regret buying. They can't even go back on the list as their salary is too high. When they started renting, it wasn't!

Their mortgage is affordable for them, but they have spent 12 THOUSAND POUNDS on repairs and maintenance in the 3 years since they bought it. They pay for one problem, and another one rears its head! Their monthly mortgage payments have gone up quite a bit too, with the interest rates rise. They were LOADED with surplus income when they rented their little flat, and now they are brassick all the time. Their monthly mortgage repayments are 2.5 more than the rent was AND they have all the maintenance to pay for AND the extra insurances that go along with being a 'homeowner.'

We rent social housing, a small 2 bed house. We downsized from a large 4 when the DC left, and our rent is £350 a month, and we can stay here forever. We pay full rent, but know that if we are out of work that the rent will be paid.

I would not buy if you paid me. Me and DH have a very comfortable lifestyle. Not loaded but comfortable. We have a joint income of about £40K, and a lovely cheap rent, and do NOT have to find money to fork out for repairs.

Private let is a bit shit for many, but social housing is the ideal for us, and for many others. Shame there isn't more.

Can you go on the housing list @peacepotty ???

Lcb123 · 13/04/2023 16:54

No idea why you’d be embarrassed about something very normal and common. Home ownership is idealised a lot. Your decision though

ginghamstarfish · 13/04/2023 17:00

It's crap in some ways, mainly the cost vs mortgage etc. On the other hand you don't have any maintenance, landlord should sort out all issues with plumbing electric, heating, appliances etc. Still hate it though, we've been in a rental for almost a year now after some bastard let us down on our house purchase as we had already sold. Bastards.

Original poster

peacepotty · 13/04/2023 17:07

The embarrassment is purely a personal thing and the stigma of rent being 'dead money' and trying to look at it different way.

I feel it's down to pressure/views of my peers and I shouldn't feel embarrassed cause I get it so maybe I just need to ignore what other people say and do what's best for myself cause you've all made some very good points!

OP posts:

KievLoverTwo · 15/04/2023 12:55

peacepotty · 13/04/2023 17:07

The embarrassment is purely a personal thing and the stigma of rent being 'dead money' and trying to look at it different way.

I feel it's down to pressure/views of my peers and I shouldn't feel embarrassed cause I get it so maybe I just need to ignore what other people say and do what's best for myself cause you've all made some very good points!

The sort of people who are making you feel bad about renting probably bought under vastly different circumstances, i.e. when the average house price wasn't almost 300k, when you could get 100% mortgages, people whose deposit was paid by their parents, or when it was normal to stay with your parents into your late 20s to save for a mortgage with no stigma around adult children still being at home.

Or, anyone who bought between 1940 and 1970 when house prices were VASTLY cheaper, so it was unimaginable that you would rent. I find those generations pass on an attitude of renting being disgusting to their children, too.

When I was 16 my mum marched me into a new build studio flat in an awful location and wanted me to buy it on a 100% mortgage because owning was the done thing to do. I didn't do it, it would have been an awful home, but that was what parents did 30 years ago. 'Own or you are failing.'

Times change and so do economies. Your peers need to get over themselves and stop making you feel bad.

pavillion1 · 17/04/2023 01:23

you certainly should not feel embarrassed by renting but if you have the option to avoid it and live with inlaws so you can save to buy in the long term you will not regret it .

SorePaw · 17/04/2023 01:52

What was the plan before you got pregnant?

why did you decide to get pregnant while living with your inlaws?
how do they feel about having a baby in the house?
why are you only working part time?

there's nothing to be embarassed about with renting.

however, it will make saving to buy very difficult.

I've lived in all kinds of housing set ups. We rented for years because we ran our business from home and needed a FAR bigger house/garage/off road parking for several vehicles etc than we could afford to buy.

but I wouldn't choose to rent if it wasn't absolutely necessary for a specific reason beyond 'Inwant to play house'

renting is expensive & there's no security in it. I've lived in huge houses with great grounds & impressive post codes, but my current property is tiny, but it's mine and as long as I pay the mortgage, no one can take it away from me. When I retire I won't have to worry about paying rent for the rest of my life or worry about being evicted.

if they're willing to have you still, I'd suck it up and stay with the inlaws for as long as possible to get a deposit together!

I know you'll be dreaming of your own little place, just the three of you, but renting isn't the greatest idea when you have options.

windmill26 · 17/04/2023 17:10

Stay put and keep saving for a deposit. Renting is not embarrassing but it can be unstable especially with kids. The landlord can ask you to leave at short notice which can be very stressful and costly.

Blondey2023 · 17/04/2023 17:15

SecretsIWouldNeverTell · 13/04/2023 16:52

Don't feel embarrassed. I think the days of feeling 'embarrassed' and people making you feel ashamed are behind us. LOADS of people rent their home. It was the late 1980s to the early 2000s that people were made to feel inadequate for renting their home. It was a pathetic attitude then, and it is now... Although, as I say, most people aren't like this now.

Only the truly stupid, pig-ignorant, and small-minded judge people for renting. It's waaaaay better than buying for some, (moreso if it's social housing.) Owning a property/owning a mortgage is a massive ball-ache, it's got an ever-open mouth, you never stop spending on the property, and you never have any fucking surplus cash. THAT is the experience for many. I mean many ordinary people.

I know a couple right now (aged 29,) who have a £155K mortgage, a joint salary of £70K, and they bought a house in Autumn 2020. They were renting a flat from the council, (for £290 a month!) and they deeply regret buying. They can't even go back on the list as their salary is too high. When they started renting, it wasn't!

Their mortgage is affordable for them, but they have spent 12 THOUSAND POUNDS on repairs and maintenance in the 3 years since they bought it. They pay for one problem, and another one rears its head! Their monthly mortgage payments have gone up quite a bit too, with the interest rates rise. They were LOADED with surplus income when they rented their little flat, and now they are brassick all the time. Their monthly mortgage repayments are 2.5 more than the rent was AND they have all the maintenance to pay for AND the extra insurances that go along with being a 'homeowner.'

We rent social housing, a small 2 bed house. We downsized from a large 4 when the DC left, and our rent is £350 a month, and we can stay here forever. We pay full rent, but know that if we are out of work that the rent will be paid.

I would not buy if you paid me. Me and DH have a very comfortable lifestyle. Not loaded but comfortable. We have a joint income of about £40K, and a lovely cheap rent, and do NOT have to find money to fork out for repairs.

Private let is a bit shit for many, but social housing is the ideal for us, and for many others. Shame there isn't more.

Can you go on the housing list @peacepotty ???

Meanwhile in the real world... most people aren't lucky enough to be given a council house. No wonder you don't ever want to buy your own house.

mizu · 18/04/2023 13:46

I wouldn't feel embarrassed either by living with family (pretty normal in many parts of the world) nor by renting.

We bought when I was 45 and DH 41. Couldn't before then. Took us 7 years to save £10,000 which was the deposit we needed.

Take your time and don't stress about it.

Mama1209 · 10/02/2024 13:10

peacepotty · 13/04/2023 17:07

The embarrassment is purely a personal thing and the stigma of rent being 'dead money' and trying to look at it different way.

I feel it's down to pressure/views of my peers and I shouldn't feel embarrassed cause I get it so maybe I just need to ignore what other people say and do what's best for myself cause you've all made some very good points!

I am made to feel like this often too. It’s so sad! I work hard, put a roof over my children head which is age & clean and full of love. We should NOT be embarrassed! People actually say things to me about it quite regularly and it really affects my mental health as I feel like a failure.