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Original poster

Can’t stop worrying

23 replies

Mrsteez · 07/04/2023 08:26

Hi.

I’m so worried about the financial position that we have found ourselves in. We’re both mid 40’s with 2dc’s late teens.

we’ve had a difficult financial battle/situation which has involved a 60k mortgage shortfall on a second property we owned. I won’t go into too much detail for fear of being identified, however it’s been a year of meetings, disputes etc. the reality is that the 60k is now our debt to repay.

prior to this, we already had about 25k of debt between us. This was organised, well managed debt. This means that we now have a total unsecured debt of 84k.

i’n bitter, worried and stressed. Dh has been able to get his head around it and form a plan. His view is that we now have to just tackle it, and stop dwelling on it.

the good news-

we have a joint take home income of £6800 per month

out mortgage for our house, bills, good and fuel come to £1700

This gives us the potential to payback £5100 per month

dh thinks we should clear 3k per month and be debt free within 2.5 years, and then save the rest to build emergency savings.

I can see how the numbers work, and that it’s doable. I just feel so crushed and embarrassed by it all

is my dh’s approach the best way to be?

OP posts:
MLMsuperfan · 07/04/2023 08:32

Do you have any equity on your home?

DeedlessIndeed · 07/04/2023 08:33

Oh that sounds a nightmarish situation.

I do agree there comes a point where you need to push yourself forward as no matter how annoyed or angry you get the situation isn't going to change.

Is there any option to add the debt to your mortgage at the end of your current mortgage term? 84K extra outstanding mortgage doesn't feel so bad as unsecured debt iyswim? In the mean time 100% pay back as much as you can, as interest will be high on a sum of that size.

isthewashingdryyet · 07/04/2023 08:33

Yes, your DH is right. Just thank the stars you have that sort of income.
just get on with it

YouveGotToGrooveIt · 07/04/2023 08:36

isthewashingdryyet · 07/04/2023 08:33

Yes, your DH is right. Just thank the stars you have that sort of income.
just get on with it

Sorry OP but I agree with this.

With your income there is no way I'd add this to my mortgage! I'd knuckle down and get it paid back as soon as possible and then move on from there.

It's shit but the sooner you start, the sooner it'll be done.

Namechange224422 · 07/04/2023 08:38

I totally get why you’re so frustrated, but I do think that your dh is right.

Often situations are most stressful when we’re trying to decide what to do, and a lot of the stress dissipates once we’re taking action.

I think that unless you have another concrete idea the best thing to do is to start doing dh’s plan. Every month that you pay off the debt gets lower and you get closer to being debt free.

As you start to move forward then you might think of other things such as remortgaging etc but that’ll be easier to consider once you’ve got going….

Original poster
Mrsteez · 07/04/2023 09:25

Remortgaging isn’t an option. There’s no way I’m jeopardising throw security that we have in our home. It just feels so insurmountable

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 07/04/2023 10:58

It looked like a serious situation until I saw what a huge disposable income you had.

Three years of frugal living is nothing compared with the effect that size of debt could have. Just be thankful you can pay it off quickly. In that situation many would be facing losing their main home. You'll be fine and the 3 years will fly by.

BarbaraofSeville · 07/04/2023 11:00

Just make sure you minimise the interest rate you pay, to minimise the cost of getting out of debt.

whowhatwerewhy · 07/04/2023 11:52

You DH is right, just start playing it off . Luckily you have the income to do it , surprised you had £25k dept to start with.
Set a realistic budget and pay as much off as you can personally with paying £3000 you still have enough to build a very decent rainy day fund .

Coffeellama · 07/04/2023 19:10

Stop being crushed and embarrassed, be glad you have so much disposable income and can clear the debt so quickly and just crack on with it. It’s a lot of money I no, but the fact is this debt has happened now and needs repaying, and you have the means to do so quickly, so there’s no horrific embarrassing event here. Im
sorry if it sounds harsh, I just think you need to approach this with a more positive and practical mindset.

alwaysmovingforwards · 07/04/2023 19:40

It's a bump in the road. Take all the emotion out of it and just get on with paying it off as per the plan.

Aubree17 · 08/04/2023 06:16

Another one for just get on with it.

Check out Dave Ramsey on you tube for advice/inspiration.

Babyroobs · 08/04/2023 11:46

I'm a bit confused - has the second property been sold or do you still have it?

inloveandmarried · 08/04/2023 11:53

Clear the debt as soon as you can with your sizeable disposable income. Income and employment can change overnight. Get it paid off whilst you can and it won't then affect your security in the future.

FiveShelties · 08/04/2023 12:02

Just start repaying the debt, it will go down really quickly with regular large repayments.

Eyesopenwideawake · 08/04/2023 12:05

I just feel so crushed and embarrassed by it all

What was your parent's attitude to debt?

Oursenpeluche · 08/04/2023 12:43

I don't know what kind of a battle you've had and it's smarting to have lost but you don't have to feel embarrassed.
In all honesty, considering your overall position I should think a lot of people would love to have your problems. Besides, you have a solution, what feels insurmountable in this plan that makes you debt-free in 36 months time?

Viviennemary · 08/04/2023 12:49

You have quite a good monthly income. Just pay off the debt each month. And maybe give some thought as to how you found yourself with such a large debt so you can prevent it happening again. Alsol ook into if you have the best rate of interest. Maybe a visit to your bank could help.

BlackisKing · 08/04/2023 13:03

Oh, OP. I can feel your distress but you need to get yourself into another mindset about this before you spiral further to a place that is difficult to get back from. I am literally dying under the weight of my debt, I can't afford to heat or eat and while I am trying to better my circumstances I am the beginning of a two year course that will, hopefully put an end to my poverty. I have neither husband nor children and never will have. You have so much to be grateful for, please recognise this. Gratitude is the only antidote to resentment

Stomacharmeleon · 08/04/2023 14:12

@BlackisKing sending you a hug x

NoSquirrels · 08/04/2023 20:55

You need a really decent budget that you stick to, that includes saving for irregular expenses (car tax, birthday, Christmas, annual renewals) and an emergency fund (boiler repair etc) and then you need to stick to that budget (as you shouldn’t have been £25K in debt before, on your income).

Then you need to crack on and do as your DH says. If the debt is now yours and that’s that, battle is lost, there’s no other alternative. Don’t feel ashamed, just get determined not to let it steal more time and energy from you. Pay it off as quick as you can whilst being realistic.

Turmerictolly · 09/04/2023 08:36

Have you sold the second property and the £60k is the shortfall?

Thingsthatgo · 09/04/2023 09:59

Will your teens be going to Uni soon? Might be worth factoring any contribution you might make towards it into your sums.

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