Moving in together dilemma

[Gemforfreee]

I am looking to move in with my partner in the next couple of months but struggling to work out how to manage finances.

Currently our finances are completely split. I own a house outright and partner has a house with a £70k mortgage outstanding.

Plan is for me to move into his property which we would like to improve. I have offered £70k from my property to allow us to do this.

Dilemma is how to manage this ‘loan’ and our expenses when we live together.

I think it’s fair to split utility bills, council tax, food and any other running costs equally. I don’t think I should pay off part of his mortgage when my name is not on this property.

Second part is the loan. My partner think I should put the money in and then if anything happens (ie he dies or we split) I would get £70k back and nothing more. This doesn’t sit right with me.

Any suggestions of ways forward to manage our finances or what I should put in place to protect myself

This is exactly what you need to do, OP.

Besides everything else, if you put a lump sum in, you need to work out what percentage of the value that is. Then if you split you'll get that percentage of the sale price back.

It's fair on both of you should the property increase or decrease substantially in value.

The difference is the Op isn't married.

If she puts money into a Deed of Trust and they split - how does she force him to pay the money back, yes she could go to court, but that costs more money in legal fees.

I think you can get a cohabitating agreement which does a similar thing.

Something from a lawyer, in any case.

Pleased that you intend to see a solicitor for advice. Very wise. I know someone who did a very similar thing, unfortunately it didn’t workout as she hoped. She has been stuck in a bad relationship for sometime and has been unable to afford to move as they can’t afford two houses from the one that she has invested heavily in. Please don’t get yourself in the same position OP.

I don't think what you are suggesting is fair on either party tbh.

Why should you lend him £70k interest free?
And on the flip side, why should you pocket all the money from your home, whilst living in his home rent free? (would you be happy for him to rent out his house, pocket all the income to himself and live in your house rent free?)

The sensible options are to either
a) Sell both properties and buy one together 50/50 with both of you contributing equally (or different proportions if you are going to pay a different percentage of deposit and mortgage repayments to reflect that, but I'd personally aim for 50/50).
or
b) You rent your property and keep the rental income (or sell and buy a different property to rent). He borrows any extra that he needs to do up his house by way of increased mortgage. You pay him half the market rent plus half utilities (which would mostly be funded by your rental income coming in.)

If you're fully committed, I'd go for a), but possibly I'd do b) initially, moving on to a) once you'd lived together for a year or two and are sure you're in it for the long term.

I’m surprised posters are so happy for you to live in his house and not pay anything towards rent/mortgage. I understand protecting your assets, and for him too, but there’s also paying your way.

pretty sure a man in your position would be clearly told he shouldn’t expect to live rent free

@FloydPepper
They are a partnership, not a business venture, her paying rent is the equivalent of paying towards his wardrobe and him profiting from her living with him.

He will make money from the house going up in value.
She needs to make sure that if they split in 5, 10, 15, 20 years that she is in a position to get a deposit down on a house.

Towards his mortgage not wardrobe don't know where that came from

We weren't married when we drew this deed up.

Hello. My partner and I have discussed him moving in with me. He has a rented flat that he pays £460 a month. He has no other debts apart from utility bills. His take home pay is £1450.
I have a mortgage that is £150 a month. My take home pay is £1600 a month working 40 hours. I have quite a few credit card debts, car loan etc which after paying everything I am left with about £600 a month disposable income.
If he moves in I want to drop a day from work which means my wage from work would be reduced from £1600 to about £1250 per month.
He has offered me £400 a month plus half towards the food.
His disposable income after paying me would be £1050, take off about £200 for food and that would leave him £850 disposable. My disposable would be a lot less due to my debts.
Is this a fair offer

Hello. My partner and I have discussed him moving in with me. He has a rented flat that he pays £460 a month. He has no other debts apart from utility bills. His take home pay is £1450.
I have a mortgage that is £150 a month. My take home pay is £1600 a month working 40 hours. I have quite a few credit card debts, car loan etc which after paying everything I am left with about £600 a month disposable income.
If he moves in I want to drop a day from work which means my wage from work would be reduced from £1600 to about £1250 per month.
He has offered me £400 a month plus half towards the food.
His disposable income after paying me would be £1050, take off about £200 for food and that would leave him £850 disposable. My disposable would be a lot less due to my debts.
Is this a fair offer

@Andrea701 you might want to start a new thread for your question as it isn't a direct reply to the OP's post, and it should also help with visibility.