How much do you spend on birthdays?

[lanisushi]

I just spend so much on other peoples birthdays.

I am on quite a low income too.

I spend £350 on my partner last year as no-one else ever sends him anything. We may go away for a weekend to celebrate, or go for a fancy meal and I put some money towards his expensive hobby. My friends spend more on their partners.

I am always at some birthday dinner or another for a friend or a colleague where I come with a present then pay for my meal and chip in for the birthday person too. This can be £100 in total as a lot of my friends are much wealthier than me and pick fancy restaurants for their birthdays.

I then have 9 nieces and nephews and counting who I send £20 to for their birthday (and Christmas). I have always felt a little guilty because all grandparents and other aunts and uncles give £50-100. A lot of my friends kids call my Aunty and I see as nieces and nephews, they all get £20 and there are 11 of them and counting.

My three siblings and I always chip in to get DM and DF a nice present costing £500 in total for their birthday. This year it will be a new iPad.

I have come to that age where my friends are all hitting 30 years old and are doing milestone birthday presents. I was asked to chip in £75 to get a friend turning 30 a tennis bracelet she has always wanted. I obliged and she loved it. Now people are suggesting birthday long weekends away which can run into £100s.

I do get alot of presents back on my birthday but I don't really like receiving presents. I am not very material and have everything I need.

I grew up with money, most of my friends and all my family are significantly wealthier than me. I have always paid my way but I have to stop and reflect and feel this spending is a bit ridiculous. I barley spend on myself and have sacrificed so much over the years.

Where is an appropriate place to make cuts? I really don't want to miss out on birthday dinners etc I really enjoy these but they're just so expensive.

I wouldn't consider myself low income and spend a whole lot less than you. Most presents are about £20, but wife and kids get more, there isn't really a budget, but between 50-100 depending on what they want / need. Might stretch to £200 or £300 if kids want to share something like a console, but would then reign it in for Christmas. At Christmas, they get an extra £100-150 in their stockings.

I spend about 200 or 250 on my husband and daughters birthdays. Anyone else 30 - 50, depending on how well I know them! I don't have a large circle of friends though or a large family, so I only do about seven birthdays a year.

I don't give anywhere near as much as you seem to but to be honest, I don't think £20 to your neices and nephews is the problem, it's the expectations of your friends and other family. Stop giving friends children £20!

£500 per parent between 4 of you is £125 each and is expensive for a birthday present in my book. Expensive bracelets and long weekends away for friends is expensive and not necessary, maybe explain that you will chip in to the presents but can't afford every weekend away. £350 for a partner just because nobody else ever sends him anything is nuts.

You have said yoursef that your friends and family all have considerably more money than you and that you are on a low income. Don't feel guilty and try to match what they give, explain that you can't afford to do all the celebratory weekends/meals and can't afford as much as they can towards gifts.

I have some savings

I don't get into debt to buy presents

I stick to my budget (this has changed over the years)

I don't have as many people to buy for as you

I also pay some money for some charities

Only you know your own budget

I don't think I've ever spent £75 on a friend's birthday present or meal!

I think these are huge sums for someone on a low income.

@namechange3394 it includes my meal too

Yeah that's definitely a lot!

I think spending so much on your parents and friends is the problem! But I understand wanting to keep up with your siblings/friends.

Are they the understanding kind that you could open up to about not being able to spend as much as you are going forward?

Fwiw we spend £20 per person for birthdays and Christmas whether they're our parents, siblings, nieces/nephews, friends etc. I try and buy throughout the year if I see something on offer or in the sale they'd like.

It was recently my friends 30th and I couldn't afford anything so gave her a bottle of fizz I already had in and did feel a bit embarrassed about it but she didn't mind at all because it's not about monetary value!

I spend about 100 on dh and the same for grown up children. Nieces and nephew 20 up to age 21 and none after that. Siblings we only pay towards big birthdays. And none for friends or their dc but we do sometimes go out to eat. I do buy baby presents but that's it. Before my dps passed away we bought small individual presents and they would have hated expensive presents.
You are spending a massive amount.

I don't consider myself low income (well, not in my world,...obviously different on MN) and we don't spend anything like that on birthday presents.
Generally it would be around £20.

because I grew up with wealthy parents I have seen so much judgement over the years it's hard to shake it off. I have a distinct memory of my aunt telling us cousins a story of how she was gifted supermarket flowers and how trashy they were and my older cousins agreed. I would just hate for someone to think that about a gift I give so I have always forked out £35 odd for a nice bouquet. My mother came from humble roots and always over spent on gifts.