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Original poster

What advice re will for DB?

10 replies

Houseplantmad · 12/02/2023 19:21

My DB has asked me to advise him re updating his will. He's single, no children and will retire this year.
He is the second youngest of five siblings. He has 9 nieces and nephews ranging from age 47 to age 19. He doesn't see the 7 older ones as they're off living their own lives in other areas or other countries.
He has expressed he's not wanting to leave anything to his siblings nor the older nieces and nephews as they are well set up in life and earn very well. The issue I'm uncomfortable is the two youngest ones are my children (the next one up is 31) who stand to benefit most, while they others may not at all. We live in the UK, they do not but he has spent time my children from an early age more than he did with the others, so knows them better which is why he is thinking of making them beneficiaries.
He has asked if I will be his executor, which I'm happy to do, and apart from a large donation to the ambulance service in the country he lives in he wants me to advise him on what to do with the rest. He has a property and assets of around £750k.
What would you do/say? Suggest he gives an equal amount to all 9 n&n - give some to the older ones or what? (They wouldn't be expecting anything as some haven't seen him for decades although I'm sure they'd be wondering what he did with his money as they know he doesn't have children.)
I don't know if I'm best to advise him at all and wouldn't want our siblings to get upset if he chooses to leave their children out but then again, they may not be around when it comes to it (and neither might I!). It's unlikely he'd discuss his plans with any of our other siblings though now however, I'm just at a bit of loss as to what to say.

OP posts:
DemonHost · 12/02/2023 21:01

Advise him to bequeath it to me.

In all seriousness, we all have to make our own minds up about this for ourselves, the most important thing is he does make his mind up and make a will even if it’s to donate it to King Charles.

If you wanted a suggestion, how about suggesting he puts it into trust with you as trustee and that all children of his nieces and nephews benefit from this when they each buy their first house.

Or he could put money into peoples pensions so it has time to grow. Or both money into a LISA and money into a SIPP for each child that comes along, with you as trustee investing the funds in an S&P500 index tracker - it might last many generations that way.

LadySeafish · 12/02/2023 21:05

Do you know how much inheritance tax would be payable by his estate? It would be quite considerable if he was paying UK IHT and that might mean he'd want to give more to charity (or not...his choice).

CatOnTheChair · 12/02/2023 21:09

If he wants to benifit your kids the most, what about splitting it 11 (or even 13) ways. One portion each to every nephew&neice, and the extra portions for the youngest ones?

In all honesty tho, I'd just split it equally between them all. Its not the older ones fault they are further ahead on life purely down to birth order.

JamMakingWannaBe · 13/02/2023 02:54

Agree with PP, he needs some professional advice on IHT planning.
I'd suggest he leaves it in equal shares.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/02/2023 02:58

I would let him leave his money to whomever he wishes. It's his money, it's his choice.

CiderJolly · 13/02/2023 05:22

Advise him to spend his money and enjoy his retirement travelling etc.

Mindymomo · 13/02/2023 07:21

I am in similar situation with my DB. At the moment I am his only sister and we have a sister in law, as my other brother died. His Will at present is 50% to me and then other 50% shared between my DH, sister in law and 4 nephews/niece’s. The idea is for me to decide how the 50% given to me is shared out. It’s a bit different because the house he lives in was my parents and although he paid myself and my sister in law equal amounts for the house, we know my parents would want the grandchildren to have equal amounts.

Bunnycat101 · 13/02/2023 07:42

If he wants to leave it to your children because he actually has a relationship with you and them then I think you’d be doing them a disservice by trying to persuade him out of it. Your grown up nieces and nephews could have maintained a relationship and haven’t. It ultimately comes down to the fact that he wants to support people he sees and knows.

it will be important though that any will is made properly so there can’t be suggestions of undue influence.

SheilaFentiman · 13/02/2023 07:50

I would tell him he needs to get advice from a solicitor as you are conflicted.

SheilaFentiman · 13/02/2023 07:58

I also think it is perfectly reasonable for him to leave it to relatives that he knows. In any event, some of the assets may be used for care home fees etc by then

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