Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Struggling with cost of living

38 replies

AIU · 08/02/2023 22:28

I am really struggling with the cost of living at the moment - single mum of 4, I work part time round preschool upwards age children,
no financial help from father at the moment waiting for a deduction of earnings that's been a year coming from csa...

I've hit a blip this month and am £200 down. I am trying to cut back where I can but I've just had one childs birthday then it's another's in a couple of weeks so money is really tight and I'm panicking how I'm going to pull it all off. I can't work any extra hours at my current job as I already owe hours where I've taken time off to care for the kids which I've still been paid for.

Trying to think of ways that I can make some money quickly or borrow (I have bad/ non existent credit)

OP posts:
Dyrne · 09/02/2023 10:14

Have you checked you’re getting all benefits you’re entitled to? Plus things like tax free childcare etc.

how much are you spending on children’s birthdays? Can you look at budgeting in advance for these?

Have you chased the CSA recently? It sound like you’d be breaking even each month if you had this.

Look at local support in your area, plus a trip to the food bank could help give a bit of breathing space. Local Facebook groups can be great for finding out stuff like this, plus getting info on free stuff to do with kids etc.

Original poster
AIU · 09/02/2023 18:57

Hi I am pretty sure I'm getting all I'm entitled to, the reason I am down is because of a change in circumstances and a recalculation of my universal credit which leaves me £200 a month down and a backlog of 4 months while they sorted it. I owe my landlord £500 which I promised to pay at the end of this month - it's due from October last year. This is why I am short this month but with no real way to catch up as I've also now lost £200 out of my budget which was all my spare money and also will mean I need to cut my food budget down.

The csa I have been chasing for ages ringing monthly since mid last year and the date it's due to start just keeps getting pushed back. I'm owed about £6k in arrears and ex is due to pay just under £100 a week so it would mean I am balancing and then would also have some spare to put towards kids clothes etc and have a bugger but I cannot rely on this at all if I ever get it as ex seems to know all the tricks to not pay.

I am planing to spend about £40 on daughters birthday she's only three and wants a polly pocket and to go to softplay with a friend. I haven't budgeted this into the £200 figure though.

I have family I could borrow from but I don't want to borrow and not be able to pay it back until high I won't hence why I'm trying to make extra.

I have out some clothes on Vinted but don't have a printer so had to cancel a couple of orders.

OP posts:
Original poster
AIU · 09/02/2023 18:58

I have thought about contacting a food bank but tbh I have no idea where to start and I am a bit proud, but yes if it comes to that I will have no choice.

OP posts:
Original poster
AIU · 09/02/2023 18:59

Buffer not bugger 🙈

OP posts:
OldTrot · 09/02/2023 19:07

What do you need to pay for until your money picks up a little?

Crumpledstilstkin · 09/02/2023 19:16

Would you be able to get an advance on benefits if they're taking a while to set up?

Original poster
AIU · 10/02/2023 23:38

I need to buy food for the next two weeks. Two of my children have are diabetic which means healthy eating is really a priority, i can normally get meals for us for about £40 but then adding fruit, cereals, certain snacks, treatment for hypos and carb free snacks for when they are high etc bumps it up. £100 a week is a struggle for 5 of us. I also will need fuel for my car not this week as it's half term and we can just walk to parks etc but next week I will as I will be back to work and cannot do school runs and be at work in time without the car. This is only £20 for the week. I've already cancelled any bills I thought I could skip for a few months without getting into trouble so water, fuel bill and I'll have to ring and offer to pay more going forward to catch up the missed months. Car insurance and internet I've kept paying.

I'm also worried because my council tax has generated a £800 bill due to the miscalculation but the new info hasn't gone through. I had paid for the year already and the next two months were months off as it were. So that's also in the back of my mind.

I just feel like I'm robbing Peter to pay Paul and feel very stressed and on edge. The kids have been asking to do things and I have to keep saying no.

I've bit the bullet and asked family to loan it. However I will have to pay it back at the end of the month.

OP posts:
Original poster
AIU · 10/02/2023 23:40

I cannot get an advance on benefits as it's not a new claim. I wish that was an option as that would fix it all. I am still paying off a miss calculation from 3 years ago when I first started my claim and the same benefit miss calculated before.

OP posts:
absol · 10/02/2023 23:41

I print my Vinted labels at the local library for 5p a sheet if that is any help for selling things x

Sparkleshine21 · 10/02/2023 23:44

On Vinted change your postage settings to yodel digital label and inpost digital then you don’t need to print. Sorry it sounds really tough, I’m struggling too atm x

Original poster
AIU · 10/02/2023 23:45

Thanks @absol I figured out with the help from a buyer on Vinted that I could change my settings so i only accept a non printer deliver locker. I've sold one bundle for £12 but you have to wait for it to be delivered before you get the money so I've still had to borrow. Hopefully I can find £250 of stuff to sell by the end of the month!

I also managed to sell my daughters wooden dolls house for £20 so slowly getting bits and bobs in.

OP posts:
Original poster
AIU · 10/02/2023 23:51

Sorry to hear your struggling too @Sparkleshine21 I think many are at the moment, I have a friend on maternity leave who's mortgage keeps increasing and she is very stressed out so I know unfortunately I'm not alone but it is a bit stressful the thought of not knowing if I'll be able to feed the kids next week and having to go to my family for help. I am normally so independent and get on with things but I've literally been so embarrassed and in tears everyday this week feeling so overwhelmed with it all. Luckily I have the kids otherwise I think I could have quite easily lost the plot

OP posts:
Dyrne · 11/02/2023 07:38

Call your utility companies to explain you’re struggling - not sure about the others but water companies have a legal duty to support vulnerable customers and you may be eligible for a discount.

Talk to the Citizens Advice Bureau - they can sort out a food bank referral for you.

BHRK · 11/02/2023 07:41

Definitely get a good back referral. Don’t be too proud. I don’t know how you’re managing to be honest

BHRK · 11/02/2023 07:41

Food bank that should say

Shivermytimber · 11/02/2023 07:54

A lady here put a plea out on our local FB page,very similar, asked for old toys etc as child’s birthday coming up and she was struggling.The community came together with balloons, presents, cakes , it was lovely to see.
How about asking if anyone has any polly pocket toys they no longer want?I know I’d have loved to give my children’s unwanted toys to a good home. I’d also phone the soft play area and ask if they do any vouchers/deals etc to see if you can bring that price down a little.
Im so sorry you are going through all of this.

HTruffle · 11/02/2023 08:05

Vinted is really good for that sort of thing but as you say the money doesn’t come instantly; selling on Facebook can be good as it’s cash in hand. Always have a think if you’ve anything lying around that people will need soon eg have your children outgrown any dressing up outfits that people would buy for world book day in March? Furniture also goes really well on Facebook marketplace so if you’ve any unwanted storage or cabinets these will usually go for £10-£15 and you have the convenience of people picking up too. Also try the too good to go app for food bags they can often be really good if not a bit of a gamble; Lidl do a fruit & veg box for £1.50 if you get there early on in the mornings; and have you got a community shop near you? Also do you claim healthy start vouchers for your three year old? I think 8.50 a week.

MumOf2workOptions · 11/02/2023 08:31

@AIU
Where abouts in the uk are you?

MumOf2workOptions · 11/02/2023 08:39

@AIU I've sent you a private message

Original poster
AIU · 11/02/2023 08:58

@Dyrne I called my water company thames water to explain the situation and they have said there is nothing they can do to help, they have now sent a debt company to chase the remainder of the money as they said the account needed to be clear by March I think? For the start of the new year. I am not so worried about this as at least the debt company I can set smaller affordable payments up. My gas and electric have been okay and haven't chased, I was hoping when /if I get the child maintenance I will be able to pay that down within a few months and set to start paying my bills again at the end of March as normal.

I don't get the early start vouchers and don't qualify.

I am not so worried about daughters birthday as I know friends and family will get her things so she def wouldn't go without and I could bake a cake at home apart from jam and some butter I have all the ingredients and luckily saved candles and a banner from the kids birthday before which I reuse.

I was going to just get 3 friends to come along to softplay and meet us and ask they pay but do you think they would be expecting me to pay? I wasn't going to make it into a party as such or expect presents more just say it was * birthday a few days ago do you fancy a catch up at softplay as she really wanted to see her friends. Then on her actual bday I'll have family round and we'll do a cake then.

Def too proud to ask on Facebook for presents etc, I don't want everyone to know I'm struggling. Also don't want it to get back to ex as he will use that against me even though he barely sees them and pays nothing. I know there will be some kind of comment.

I know I just need to get through these next two weeks. It's also my birthday in a couple of weeks, my grandma usually sends £20 in a card so I can use that too. I am not sure if other family would be happy to give money but I could ask for more practical things lol!

OP posts:
Original poster
AIU · 11/02/2023 09:01

@MumOf2workOptions thanks you for asking I'd rather not say where I am and thank you for the offer but I didn't make the thread to receive things I would never ask strangers for money or items even though that is a really kind gesture and it is appreciated, it was more to think of new ideas and also really to vent and talk it out as I haven't really got anyone I can talk to in real life about how dire the situation really is.

OP posts:
MumOf2workOptions · 11/02/2023 09:15

@AIU
I was just trying to help sorry if I offended you 😞
I have a Polly pocket you can have I was just trying to help you.
When I was struggling I spoke to my health visiting team who sent a HV to see me and she made some referrals for the food bank, and some other help and let me know about discounts on utility bills etc and various things I could tap into.
The water company were great and the foodbank had a school uniform pop up swop shop and type things where people took preloved shoes and uniforms and I got some gifts one Christmas when my daughter was little and I was made redundant.
I just remember myself how stressed I was and try to do afew nice things to help others if I can, we're not loaded just ok but I just think it's nice to help people if you can.

BigGreen · 11/02/2023 09:28

Would diabetes charities be able to help a bit with that aspect and free up money for other stuff? I found this after a quick google-

www.scd.uk.com/

Theoneandonlyjrae · 11/02/2023 09:33

What about DLA for your diabetic children and also the care element on universal credit? Not immediate help but would help in long run if you're not already claiming this. I had a change in circumstances in December and it has messed me up £200 down on UC and council tax bill reworked so owe them more that budget for, so annoying.

GachaBread · 11/02/2023 09:39

How about downloading some mystery shopping apps. Bemyeye, shepper, Roamler . You can do a few jobs and be paid instantly same day, sometimes in the same hour. You can cash out to PayPal for faster payouts too