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When is a loan not a loan?

5 replies

rubikpole · 29/01/2023 22:15

Sorry for cryptic title - just trying to get my head round an issue re separation (but don't want to post in Relationships as other threads there)

DH and I are going through divorce - initial proceedings signed and moving into tricky financial split bit.

DH has indicated that the 42K his parents gave up when we were married and bought our first house should now be part of the split. This money was after we married so as far as I understand it's a "matrimonial asset"

I am being sceptical about this for a number of reasons:

  1. I always understood it was a "gift" - we used some for deposit and some for renovations to attic, new furniture etc...

2)P-in-L have never asked for this back before or said they want money back (only raised its head now we are getting divorced - DH now says he feels "obligated" to pay his parents back)

3)Since the money was "gifted" ten plus years ago we have moved home several times (with substantial equity in each move - so if it was an issue why not repaid then?)

With limited info (trying to be vague but will answer any questions if possible) is this a "soft loan"? Should it be part of any financial negotiation?

To add I have also brought financial assets to marriage (money from inheritance though no big lump sums like this) however I have done bulk of childcare and am on half partner's earnings.

OP posts:
messybutfun · 29/01/2023 22:34

Did you ever declare it as a loan when applying for a mortgage etc?

rubikpole · 29/01/2023 22:54

No - we bought the first house three months after we married (we were renting beforehand). When we bought the first house together we were six months married and PIL gave us (or rather DH) the money - there was no written agreement or stipulations as far as I was aware. DH always said he'd like to give money back but never really did anything about it - just behaved as if his parents had been "more generous" than mine. I am from family of six and my family are not as well-off on paper.

OP posts:
rubikpole · 29/01/2023 22:56

Sorry not being clear - it was not declared on the mortgage as gift/loan at all

OP posts:
RandomPerson42 · 30/01/2023 00:34

It was clearly not a loan if there is no paperwork to say so.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 30/01/2023 00:36

When you buy a house and are given money like this you have to agree that it’s not a loan for the mortgage company to accept it.

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