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Original poster

Inheritance

28 replies

Isabelle70 · 28/01/2023 20:10

I am going to update my 24 year old will to leave my house and all assets to adult DC 50/50.
I have very little contact with my sister, I bother and she doesn't.
Would you leave anything to her in the will? A small piece of jewellery or picture?
My Ds thinks I am mad and shouldn't bother as she will only sell whatever is gifted.
Do siblings normally gift to each other?

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 28/01/2023 20:13

All goes to my partner if still alive then split between kids after that.

greenspaces4peace · 28/01/2023 20:15

I’ve not considered siblings in my will, nor has dh. Just our 3 children (adults) but maybe I’ll mention to the oldest (the executor) that photos etc that my brother might like he’s welcomed to.
my mom is still alive, I suppose I could inherit an item (lamp or jewelry) that he would appreciate if my trio are not interested. But no, sharing with siblings is not really on the radar.

Chewbecca · 28/01/2023 20:16

It’s not particularly usual, no, but of course you can if you wish. I guess I expect my death to be a vaguely similar time to my siblings as we are close in age therefore I would be more inclined to remember nieces and nephews rather than siblings.
My will goes to children only.

NomadicSoul · 28/01/2023 20:17

ACynicalDad · 28/01/2023 20:13

All goes to my partner if still alive then split between kids after that.

This.

My brother isn't getting anything from me and give versa.

MrsBunnyEars · 28/01/2023 20:18

No, I’m quite close to DB but it didn’t occurred to me to leave him anything as he’s a solvent adult, not dependant on me.

Our mirror wills do leave something to our DNieces (on the other side), as they’ve got a difficult family situation and could probably use the money if we die when they’re children or young adults (we support them a bit already).

We’ll revisit that when they’re adults / if more nieces and nephews are born.

But siblings- not at all unless there are special circs.

Merchantadventurer · 28/01/2023 20:18

Mine are only involved if everyone closer all dies together. Then the money will go to siblings as there will be no one else to inherit!

ACynicalDad · 28/01/2023 20:22

I lied, partner if alive if not then kids and then if something terrible like a road/plane crash happened and all wiped out nieces and nephews and charity, none to siblings as pretty rich and no point doing inheritance tax in two generations when they don’t need it, can go on deposits for homes etc.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 28/01/2023 20:34

Maybe you could leave your sister something like a piece of jewelry you inherited from your mother, or a picture that hung in your mother's house. An item that had a familial connection. An item like that would likely mean more to your sister than to your DH.
(My father inherited a lovely framed studio picture of his parents in their wedding clothes. He kept it until his death and then had it passed on to his youngest sister. I was executor and had it personally delivered to her on her 90th birthday - she was thrilled beyond words. It was a memory from her childhood.)

Original poster
Isabelle70 · 28/01/2023 20:35

Thank you all for your insights.
I will crack on with getting the will drawn up for just the DC. No husband or partner to think about and I have worked hard for what I have so it would always go to the DC.
My only thought with my sister is that she will tell all and sundry that I never her left her anything (she has form for those comments) but as Ds says I will be dead and won't care!
Maybe I could always get a delightful garden gnome to leave to her 🤣

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 28/01/2023 20:39

Our siblings only get anything from me and Dh if both is and the kids are all dead.

Otherwise it is:-

All to each other
If both dead all to the kids 50/50
If one child also dead then to their “issue” if existent (note - we wrote this when Dd was a baby and ds did not exist so it was a bit weird to think about their kids!) or if none then all to the surviving child.

Original poster
Isabelle70 · 28/01/2023 20:39

@GeorgiaGirl52 that could be an idea but the jewellery we did inherit from our Dm, she sold and I still have. I know that she would just sell it on.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 28/01/2023 21:38

ACynicalDad · 28/01/2023 20:13

All goes to my partner if still alive then split between kids after that.

I'm not sure I would do that. If you own your own house, then couldn't you specify your half goes to the children but with your partner having the right to live in it? It could go completely belly up if you pop your clogs and your partner gets a new partner who then inherits.

MaryBerrysCamelToe · 28/01/2023 21:43

Everything of mine is in trust for the children, then when my youngest hits 18 assists will be divided between all the kids.

Dyrne · 28/01/2023 23:44

But that potentially screws over the partner who may be struggling with becoming a widow(er) with bereaved kids to manage.

For example; if DP dies before me I’d want to sell up and move closer to family/friends for the support network. If half the house was suddenly tied up it’d be a nightmare and I’d have much less options.

It’s surely better for the DC to ensure they have stability from their surviving parent to have the financial freedom to, for example, go part time to support them and help them access the right bereavement counselling etc; rather than struggle through the rest of their childhood just for the sake of preserving some inheritance that may or may not be useful to them in X years time.

ImBlueDab · 28/01/2023 23:47

I get on really well with my db but I'm not leaving him anything in my will, it goes to my dh and my dc

Testina · 29/01/2023 12:47

“My only thought with my sister is that she will tell all and sundry that I never her left her anything (she has form for those comments) but as Ds says I will be dead and won't care!”

You need to work on not caring now.
You were actually considering being bullied into this!

See if you left her some of your mother’s jewellery, what would she say anyway?

  • yeah, sis left me her share of mum’s jewellery which was a lovely gesture, and the jewellery itself means a lot to me
  • and do you know what she “left” me? Mum’s jewellery. So not even anything from her anyway, really that jewellery was morally mine anyway, as it was mum’s

The kind of sibling that will complain and what they’re left in a will, will find something to complain about whatever you leave!

ArcticSkewer · 29/01/2023 12:59

Dyrne · 28/01/2023 23:44

But that potentially screws over the partner who may be struggling with becoming a widow(er) with bereaved kids to manage.

For example; if DP dies before me I’d want to sell up and move closer to family/friends for the support network. If half the house was suddenly tied up it’d be a nightmare and I’d have much less options.

It’s surely better for the DC to ensure they have stability from their surviving parent to have the financial freedom to, for example, go part time to support them and help them access the right bereavement counselling etc; rather than struggle through the rest of their childhood just for the sake of preserving some inheritance that may or may not be useful to them in X years time.

You can build all that in to the will, so house can be sold and money spent on a similar house or any variation you want really.
The life insurance can also be put in trust to be spent on the kids upbringing

Original poster
Isabelle70 · 29/01/2023 13:33

Testina · 29/01/2023 12:47

“My only thought with my sister is that she will tell all and sundry that I never her left her anything (she has form for those comments) but as Ds says I will be dead and won't care!”

You need to work on not caring now.
You were actually considering being bullied into this!

See if you left her some of your mother’s jewellery, what would she say anyway?

  • yeah, sis left me her share of mum’s jewellery which was a lovely gesture, and the jewellery itself means a lot to me
  • and do you know what she “left” me? Mum’s jewellery. So not even anything from her anyway, really that jewellery was morally mine anyway, as it was mum’s

The kind of sibling that will complain and what they’re left in a will, will find something to complain about whatever you leave!

@Testina you are so right. And she would most likely say the second option. Anything left to her would not have any sentimental value it would just be a cash value to her.
I have been going backwards and forwards on whether to leave her anything for about 2 years since I decided I needed to update my will.
Decision made, the DC will get it all 😄

OP posts:
Testina · 29/01/2023 13:34

Right decision 😉

And seriously - leaving aside her behaviour - it’s really not the most common thing to do anyway.

Pungifries · 27/03/2023 20:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Pungifries · 27/03/2023 20:45

Sorry, didn’t mean to post that there. I’ve asked mumsnet to take down. Can’t work out how to do it myself! Apologies for hijacking the thread!

purpledalmation · 27/03/2023 20:52

As you say you won't be here to worry what she says and people will know she has form! I always say the people who know me will know the truth and the people who hear lies and don't know me, I don't care about anyway

Fluffodils · 28/03/2023 06:50

Mine does as I have significant family assets I don't want passed down my stepchildren line. I will leave them something but my grandmother who passed it on never met my stepchildren so it didn't seem right, so it goes to my sister who has her own child.

EyesOnThePies · 28/03/2023 09:32

ACynicalDad · 28/01/2023 20:13

All goes to my partner if still alive then split between kids after that.

@ACynicalDad How can you ensure anything goes to your kids once you have left it all to your partner?

Is your DP their Mum?

I may be a cynical mum but I have seen 3 of my friends receive not a penny in inheritance from a step mum’s will. Even though she received what was originally their Mum’s assets included in his estate.

whattodo1975 · 28/03/2023 09:36

Your sister sounds a like a twat, i wouldnt leave her anything and your kids are spot on.