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Original poster

Ex asking for money from house

26 replies

cleanbreak2022 · 19/01/2023 12:49

Hi everyone,

Hope someone can give me some advice.

I've posted before in 'legal matters' but after a search this seems the better forum for traffic.

Split with exp (not married on Dec 2021). We owned a property together.

We agreed a figure and I paid him, form TR1 was submitted and completed.

He has since been saying that I verbally agreed to pay an additional sum later on.

He contacted me in October (we completed in august) and alleged I had made a verbal agreement to pay an additional £5000 which I did not.

We have no contact and I haven't responded to that request.

I have now received another email requesting the additional £5000 and explaining he no longer wants/can pay the CMS rate but they have refused to amend the amount and they are chasing arrears.

I have ignored this email as well.

My anxiety is going crazy. What are the chances of me being taken to court on this? I don't have funds to fight, and there is nothing to say I agreed this sum.

I've convinced myself that his family will say I said it and I will need to find funds to fight that I simply don't have.

I will of course fight back if I have to, I guess I'm just looking at how much I will have to fight, will it end up before a judge making a decision based on 'probability' or will someone just tell him to take a run and jump as there's nothing to support his allegation.

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 19/01/2023 12:51

Ignore him. I don't think he's got a leg to stand on. He'd have to prove that verbal agreement that he's imagined. Let the CMS deal with him, it's just blackmail. Honestly these bloody bastards 😡

Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 19/01/2023 12:53

He's done so much damage! He was paid out, he was desperate to get away and start a new life with OW, and in his desperation caused carnage in everyone's life.

And now this! I've been in such a positive place and one email has sent me spiralling again. He mum manages child hand overs and I just know this is going to be brought up and I don't want the confrontation

OP posts:
NewFoxOldTricks · 19/01/2023 13:04

Just ignore him

He can't prove it

Llamadog · 19/01/2023 13:06

Ignore. Logically after the TR1 there is no reason for you to have agreed to pay him more money. It’s clearly a try on.

MrsSquirrel · 19/01/2023 13:09

Continue ignoring him.

As the saying goes, a verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it is written on.

underneaththeash · 19/01/2023 13:15

Ignore him, he won’t have any proof.

Sleepless1096 · 19/01/2023 13:20

Ignore him.

He has no choice but to pay the CMS rate. So no need to engage about that either.

Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 19/01/2023 18:44

Thanks everyone. I feel so stressed out. I know his mum is going to jump on this soon (she handles and supervises contact) and we're having such a smooth time I know this will be like throwing a bomb into the equation.

He is her blue eyed boy and everyone attends his pity parties and I'm the big bad ex

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 19/01/2023 19:21

cleanbreak2022 · 19/01/2023 18:44

Thanks everyone. I feel so stressed out. I know his mum is going to jump on this soon (she handles and supervises contact) and we're having such a smooth time I know this will be like throwing a bomb into the equation.

He is her blue eyed boy and everyone attends his pity parties and I'm the big bad ex

Absolutely do not engage with her on this. Not at all. Just change the subject. Don't give her anything. If he feels he has a case he can take legal advice or make an application. He'll get absolutely nowhere.

Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 19/01/2023 19:33

@TheFormidableMrsC thank you so much. How would you suggest I respond when the inevitable happens? Would me not defending myself smack of guilt? Wouldn't a judge ask me why I didn't shut it down in the beginning?

OP posts:
Can2022getanyworse · 19/01/2023 19:38

There is no way that this is ever doing to get as far as a judge. He signed the TR1, assuming after taking legal advice as well as a financial sum agreed at the time.
Grey Rock with his mum. Shut her down straight away.

Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 19/01/2023 19:44

@Can2022getanyworse the irony of your comment made me chuckle. He refused legal advice, I even paid the deposit for his solicitor and he refused to engage with them! If I was going to stitch someone up I highly doubt I would have gone to those lengths. I agreed I would pay that deposit because I wanted it to move quickly. He didn't want to pay the balance so refused to engage with them.

OP posts:
aureus3012 · 19/01/2023 19:50

Block his phone number and email address. If his mum brings it up, say that you will not be discussing financial issues with her. He's unlikely to want to pay a solicitor with no evidence. Hopefully he'll slither away back to his rock.

Can2022getanyworse · 19/01/2023 19:51

@cleanbreak2022 well then he's an even bigger idiot.

Refuse to engage. He had his opportunity. You offered him legal advice, he refused, he signed the TR1. He's had his chance to argue for additional funds, now its too late he's belly-aching about it.

If his mum gets snotty then you need to suggest that somebody else does child handovers as you refuse to be drawn into his make-believe world.

Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 19/01/2023 19:56

Thanks so much, the support I giving my fuel for the fight. He is a moron. He cannot grasp that I don't have a never ending out of money and for everything he decides not to pay, I have to find the money for. Until now, I have.
He stopped paying for childcare vouchers. I wasn't happy but I took it on the chin. His defence was CMS said he didn't have to. My counter arguement to that is, well they do say you have to do pay this amount is maintenance. He likes to cherry pick to suit his own needs. He's already spent the payout I gave him and has landed himself in £10-£20k of debt.

OP posts:
Unicorn2022 · 19/01/2023 20:10

What a chancer! Tell his mum only if she asks that when the house was transferred you both agreed and submitted form TR1 and section 8 of that form specified that he as the transferor received a set amount in full and final settlement. The fact he has spent the money and gone into further debt is not your concern.

gravyriceandchips · 19/01/2023 20:19

Ignore. It will not happen. He's chancing his arm and leg. He will get nowhere with this.

TheFormidableMrsC · 19/01/2023 20:49

cleanbreak2022 · 19/01/2023 19:33

@TheFormidableMrsC thank you so much. How would you suggest I respond when the inevitable happens? Would me not defending myself smack of guilt? Wouldn't a judge ask me why I didn't shut it down in the beginning?

Firstly, to get in front of a judge, you would have to go to mediation. That is a requirement. So he sits there and says "she told me she'd give me five grand and she hasn't". I can tell you that he will get exactly nowhere. Even if he did make it in front of the judge, you're not on trial here! It's not about looking guilty!

In terms of his mother, I'd say there is nothing to discuss and change the subject.

Honestly, he's a prick and he's frightened you. You really have to disengage and leave him to stamp his little feet.

AmandaHoldensLips · 19/01/2023 20:56

Ignore him. He's grasping at straws.

If he won't shut up, tell him to stop harassing you. If he won't heed the warnings, you'll have to block him.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 19/01/2023 21:06

He’s chancing his arm. Ignore the email. Don’t engage with any guilt tripping and remember, silence is golden.

Livinghappy · 19/01/2023 21:14

He could be using the money as a way to contact you..quite common that he still needs your attention or he wants to provoke a reaction as knows you are recovering and building a new life.

It's really unlikely he will get this to court - ignore him.

Duckingella · 20/01/2023 07:29

He's probably hoping saying you owe him 5K would scared you into dropping the CMS claim as he very clearly doesn't want to pay for his own child.

If his mum raises it simply say any financial matters are between yourself and your ex.

Why are these men such scum?

Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 20/01/2023 09:45

Thanks all! I feel much better today.

Im sure some of these men go to 'dick head school' just before they leave their families.

Women being the higher earner is a success and a curse in this situation. This type of male is either trying to control a woman financially on her knees, whilst raising children or sniffing around her success that they enjoyed in the relationship to continue the life style with their new partner.

There's some really strong women on these boards and the support, although virtual makes all the difference.

I will fight back, and I'll do it with a smile on my face. There's another war left in me.

OP posts:
ivegotthisyeah · 20/01/2023 09:52

cleanbreak2022 · 20/01/2023 09:45

Thanks all! I feel much better today.

Im sure some of these men go to 'dick head school' just before they leave their families.

Women being the higher earner is a success and a curse in this situation. This type of male is either trying to control a woman financially on her knees, whilst raising children or sniffing around her success that they enjoyed in the relationship to continue the life style with their new partner.

There's some really strong women on these boards and the support, although virtual makes all the difference.

I will fight back, and I'll do it with a smile on my face. There's another war left in me.

Dick head school 🤣🤣💯
You've got this!!! 💪🏻

OhcantthInkofaname · 13/03/2023 20:29

You respond by asking her “you know your son, do you really think I owe him any money?" Then tell her he will not get anything and needs to pay his current arrears.