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Original poster

Mortgage split between partners

24 replies

BertNew · 16/01/2023 20:36

Hello

I am buying a house with my partner. My partner earns substantively more than I do however I have greater savings and therefore will be paying a larger sum up front. Its important to me to retain my financial freedom and have it noted contractually that my ownership in the house is greater due to the deposits we are each putting in.

When I go on maternity leave (statutory pay only) my partner will pay more towards the mortgage and therefore feels he will start to balance out the share in the house.

Does this feel fair whereas its not my ‘fault’ maternity pay is so low?

How have other couples managed?

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 16/01/2023 21:44

Yes - if (as is correct) you want your greater financial contribution to be reflected then it’s also fair that if he will be paying the bulk of the mortgage which builds equity in the property, there should be some acknowledgement of that in any legal agreement. The simplest way to do it is to review the deed of trust annually when you receive your annual mortgage statement and update the agreed split of equity accordingly. You aren’t married, which ultimately means you’ve chosen to retain the legal privileges of essentially being two independent, single people in the eyes of the law; unless you do marry, that should carry in into finances.

Countrywellies · 16/01/2023 21:48

You can have something drafted by the solicitor at the time of purchase so you own a greater percentage. Also you can have it say that as you are paying equal mortgage if the house is sold you both get what you put in plus 50/50 of what the property is now worth. It’s really important to do this so your deposit is safe if you need to buy by yourself if it doesn’t work out.

WaddleAway · 16/01/2023 21:53

I think if you’re asking for a greater share due to a higher deposit, his higher mortgage repayments should also be taken into account.
I paid the entire deposit on our house. However since having a disabled child my income has dropped dramatically and DH pays the entire mortgage. Not technically my ‘fault’ that I cannot contribute to the mortgage now, but I see our contributions to the house as being equal.

cestlavielife · 16/01/2023 22:01

Go back to work after 6 months and share childcare costs
What is the additional mortgage payment he pays over those 6 months vs your deposit ?

Krakenes · 16/01/2023 22:06

Sounds fair to me if that’s how you are allocating things (you paid more initially, but he’ll pay more overtime). When we had a child we just pooled everything (actually we did that as soon as we bought a house together before children). I had more savings for a deposit and we had a tenants in common agreement to reflect that.

We have the same attitude to money so that helps. We like to save but are happy to spend on big investment items and trust each other’s judgement (we don’t ask for approval beforehand on big spends, but will naturally discuss things). Before trying for children we decided to get married (eloped), so all was equal. We also took shared parental leave (cost us a bit as our paid leave wasn’t great), but so worth it in terms of parental equality, housework, and mental load.

I’d never think any money was mine or his now, it’s just family money. We both have a separate savings pot through work shares so we both have an equal nest egg if anything bad was to happen.

Original poster
BertNew · 16/01/2023 22:07

Im putting in £50k more down payment. Monthly repayment is £2k, so whilst I'm on maternity leave he may put in £24k whilst I don't contribute. We would then go 50/50 on all other bills

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 16/01/2023 22:07

Bettter still bill him for the childcare costs of you caring for his child from birth to six months
(Minus stat mat pay )

Taking aside deposit it s 50 50 equity split regardless who pays the mortgage

cestlavielife · 16/01/2023 22:09

You caring fir his child for him to work. Bill him 2k a month for that

TheHopefulMum · 16/01/2023 22:11

When DH and I bought our home almost 8 years ago it was my savings that were used as a deposit, DH had none, and I was also the higher earner at that time.

Not once did I think to draw up a contract stating that my share was greater, we were and still are a team and any money, regardless of who provides it, is simply considered our money.

MarmaladeCrumpets · 16/01/2023 22:14

No that's not fair. You are contributing your womb how can you put a price tag on that? But if you have to..I'd say it's equivalent to your usual mortgage payment.

Amicompletelyinsane · 16/01/2023 22:15

Can't you just have a Claus that if you sell then 50k is yours then the rest is split 50:50. As for him paying whilst you are on maternity. Well it's his child too so I don't see any you should lose your money in that sense because you can't earn as much

Fairydustandsparklylights · 16/01/2023 22:16

Don’t try and bill him 2k a month, that’s just ridiculous. You could go back when baby is 6 weeks but you don’t want to. It’s 24k this time and then 24k next time and then suddenly, you’re even. How much is the property worth? If it’s 500k and you put down 50k which is 10%, can you not get something drawn up that you’re entitled to 10% of whatever it sells for in the future and the remaining 90% is split evenly. That way you get a return on your investment. Then it’s fair and you pool finances and become a family.

marlowe5 · 16/01/2023 22:16

BertNew · 16/01/2023 22:07

Im putting in £50k more down payment. Monthly repayment is £2k, so whilst I'm on maternity leave he may put in £24k whilst I don't contribute. We would then go 50/50 on all other bills

It's good to acknowledge your initial unequal contributions in a deed. But this comment sounds more worrying. You are caring for your joint child so he is paying the mortgage while you do that... those contributions to are both equal - does he thinkhe is doing you a favour?! You are enabling him to work while you look after your joint child...so you are both making a crucial contribution.

marlowe5 · 16/01/2023 22:21

To be really prudent as well, if, in the sad event that anything went wrong in the future with your relationship, since you are not married, if you didn't work, you wouldn't have much financial protection would you, if you decided to work less after your DC is born. You might also have more difficulty if you were ever on your own to pick up a job at the level you are on now with childcare issues. However if your deposit isn't acknowledged in a deed, then if you sold the house on a split, you would effectively lose half your deposit...and perhaps be shouldering more of the childcare responsibilities etc. I would I definitely say protect the deposit if you are not married.

BarbaraofSeville · 17/01/2023 07:12

He doesn't get to benefit from all the mortgage payments he makes while you are on maternity leave recovering from the birth and also caring for your joint child.

Any time you are at home and he is working, he is benefiting from you caring for the child and not having to pay for childcare, so he should be deducting 50% of the cost of a nursery place or employing a nanny from the £2k that he's paying for the mortgage.

What's his parental leave entitlement and has he considered taking some of the time, rather than you having a year off on stat pay only?

Don't fall into the trap that you should take all the income, pension and career progression hit of having a child and definitely don't do this without getting married first.

Polarbearyfairy · 17/01/2023 07:39

To my mind they are two separate things

The purchase of the property is one thing, and you each need a deed of trust to protect whatever you're putting in as a deposit

Then you need to discuss how you are going to do your finances now you are going to be sharing a child.

It isn't fair that you lose equity because your earnings have been curtailed due to maternity pay!

Have you talked through what's going to happen when you go back to work?

cestlavielife · 17/01/2023 18:46

TheHopefulMum · 16/01/2023 22:11

When DH and I bought our home almost 8 years ago it was my savings that were used as a deposit, DH had none, and I was also the higher earner at that time.

Not once did I think to draw up a contract stating that my share was greater, we were and still are a team and any money, regardless of who provides it, is simply considered our money.

Married.
Very different

TheHopefulMum · 17/01/2023 19:34

@cecestlavielife actually DH and I weren't married at the time we purchased our home and it still never crossed my mind.

catfunk · 17/01/2023 19:37

BarbaraofSeville · 17/01/2023 07:12

He doesn't get to benefit from all the mortgage payments he makes while you are on maternity leave recovering from the birth and also caring for your joint child.

Any time you are at home and he is working, he is benefiting from you caring for the child and not having to pay for childcare, so he should be deducting 50% of the cost of a nursery place or employing a nanny from the £2k that he's paying for the mortgage.

What's his parental leave entitlement and has he considered taking some of the time, rather than you having a year off on stat pay only?

Don't fall into the trap that you should take all the income, pension and career progression hit of having a child and definitely don't do this without getting married first.

THIS X 100

FlippityFlippityFlop · 17/01/2023 20:02

My partner put the deposit down on our house. That is specified in our decleration of trust. Everything else is 50:50. When I went on mat leave he covered all the bills and mortgage - he didn't expect any "credit" for that as at that point we were a team. The reason I wasn't contributing in monetary terms was because I was looking after our child. The alternative was to return to work earlier and pay for childcare.

Marmight · 17/01/2023 23:12

His mortgage payments are only partially paying off the capital anyway.
Therefore 'his' £24k of payments is not an extra £24k of equity.
Perhaps he should pay all the bills and you stick with the 50/50 mortgage payments?

mobear · 17/01/2023 23:23

If it’s financially feasible ask him to pay you 1/2 the salary you lose while on maternity leave and maintain your equal contribution towards the mortgage. The child is 1/2 his, so 1/2 your losses should be covered. That is what we did.

opencheese · 18/01/2023 07:17

The child is not your personal expense to bear

RandomPerson42 · 18/01/2023 13:16

Do you work out and split the costs of all the housework too (whoever does it)?

Imho, if you were a committed couple you would pool all incomes and own the house 50/50. Why do you think their time is worth more than yours? Are you less of a person? The money they earns or you earn is irrelevant. What happens if one of you unemployed for 3 years due to ill-health in the future?

Partner is being financially abusive if they think they deserves a better standard of living than you (by having more disposable income to themself).

If you were married then the courts starting point would be 50/50 for a reason - and this needs to be your default position when not married.

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