Is DH Entitled to Any help?

[IForgotOurSong]

18 months ago DH left his job due to poor mental health caused by the stress of the job. Since then he’s had a go at running his own business before having to return to a job where he wasn’t there for very long before needing to take time of sick for a respiratory condition. He’s been off longer than he’s been there and they’ve paid him SSP which is fine I don’t think he could have expected anything more given the time he’s been there. He’s now ready to go back at least on a phased basis and they stalling due to not having much work on etc… in the meantime he’s built up lots of debt keeping himself afloat. I’m worried it’s getting out of hand, I earn enough to keep us all afloat each month but I cannot pay off all his debts too. What’s our way out of this? Any ideas?

Have a look on a benefit calculator to see if you’re eligible for any benefits - try entitledto or turn2us.

speak to citizens advice or another agency like step change or Christian’s against poverty to see what the best options are to manage the debt.

Have you looked at entitled to? Benefits would be based on joint earnings. How much do you earn? If not it's worth speaking to step change to see how the debt can be made manageable.

Thanks for your replies, I don’t think he’ll be entitled to anything cause I earn about £45k, we’re just finding our way out of nursery fees and now money is becoming a massive issue again. I think he will need to look at debt management, but his head is currently firmly in the sand. I’m a bit fed up to tell you the truth, I know he can’t help his health but he’s also made some poor decisions and I’m expected just to not say anything about it and if I do, he bites my head off.

Sorry I should have said, I asked the question because I wasn’t sure whether my income would make a difference but obviously it will. I should have just asked that really. I don’t know whether I think this is more of a money issue or a relationship issue really, I’m not sure I want to go through all this with him again. I’m just tired of having to deal with something I think was avoidable to be honest.

I understand couples work differently but I'm curious how he's built debt up 'keeping himself afloat'. What does that mean?Are there joint bills/responsibilities not met eg utilities, tax mortage etc or do you mean he's been going out/socialising, treating himself snd generally living beyond his means? I'm assuming you've took up the slack.
If he's unemployed, why do you have childcare costs? I think nursery is good for children but it's a bit of a stretch if you can't afford it.

He really needs to take ownership of his situation. Has he suggested any potential solutions? If nothing changes, you should separate. You have 2 children. You don't need a third

Depends on rent, childcare etc but as far as UC is concerned your money is joint so you're expected to support him.

It could be a prioritisation issue. While his income is lower you should be cutting back on non essentials as a household and also paying essentials before any debt repayments so if you can't afford to meet your unsecured debts you should seek advice on debt management. Look at the budgeting section of moneysavingexpert.com for how to start and signposting to more help

If the debt and its management is not something you’ve agreed on between you as a married couple then I would say it’s a relationship problem as well as a debt problem.

Thanks everyone, I posted this a while ago. DH is now back in work and his debt is being managed through a charity. It’s tough but I think he’s learnt from it and I hope we’re never back there again.