Maintenance

[SKYTVADDICT]

Need some advice.

DP and I separated four years ago and had a legal separation agreement stating he paid £400 a month and that could be reviewed 1 April each year. We have 2 DDs.

At the time I knew what he earned and that £400 was about 20% of his take home pay which the CSA web site said was about right.

I haven't asked for it to be reviewed but am seriously considering it as we are really struggling at the mo. I have just gone back to work after mat leave and am pregnant again (nothing to do with him I know).

Is it reasonable to ask him to review it? He must have had pay rises over the last four years and he has just bought a huge 5 bedroom house for him and his new wife (who he left me for).

Also, what happens if he says no? I'm not sure I want to start things off legally!

Personally, I'd stick with the agreement you have. £400 is a good sum and far more than most mums get after a split. He's supporting his girls and its not his fault your struggling after extending your family with a new partner.

If he goes on to have children with his new partner he could request a reduction so at least you can say I didnt ask for a yearly increase so you shouldnt request a reduction as it equals out.

i think that you are already getting a good amount, he must also spend money on seeing them too?

yes he has bought a new house but he is entitled to have stuff in his new relationship without you asking for more. You never know he may have a massive mortgage to pay for it!

Also he may seethat you are pg again and think you are asking for more because of that.

you could ask the csa to review it though if you are desperate, they will write to him and ask for new figures.

Jus tre=read last post and the words sounded a bit mean - not meant that way! but i am the 2nd partner (wife now) that my DH has had and the ex is constantly on at us for ££, despite our best efforts.

Thanks. I didn't think what we got was too bad and I agree really I shouldn't be asking just because we are struggling. The main thing is he now runs the company and I think he may have had a huge pay rise!

The other thing is DD1 is now at senior school and her trips are costing lots more and her uniform is extortionate! I may just ask him if he will contribute a little towards that and see what he says!

If he says no I may just go down the CSA route - as long as I don't end up with less!

The CSA will take years-my dd is four now and he left when she was 3 months old and I have STILL heard nothing-have given up chasing it now. Try and work it out between yourselves if you can-ask him if he will pay for school trips etc-it might help.

you get £400 a month and want more because you dont have enough?? are you serious? try spending less or working more. as for materninty leave and another one on the way, who's fault is that? not his so why ask him to pay? at least he's making a go of it and doing well for himself - sounds like you should.i work full time with 3 kids, one of them now in uni and never get a penny from my ex. you should give that a go.

Are you on amicable enough terms with him to simply ask him? Because he might simply not have thought to offer more.

I am not entirely sure how it is unreasonable of the op to ask for an increase in payments from her exp when that is what was agreed when the plan was originally made. His income has increased and therefore his payments should go up to reflect this. Child care costs change and as Sky has said the eldest dd has more expensive outgoings now.

How she lives her life should bear no reflection on how much he should pay! Or should she, when planning every step of her life, be thinking "hmmmn, i wonder how this will affect my poor exh who cheated on me and left me and my dd's for another woman" She is only asking for money so her dd's have a better life, something he should surely want too?

Yes madamez I am on amicable terms (at the moment and will probably ask him this weekend

Sky I dont think you are being unreasonable to ask for a bit more for your dd's. As kids get older the cost of raising them increases. Im sure your ex would not want his dd's missing out on things just because money is a bit tight for you at the moment. You have both moved on with your lives but just because he has remarried, bought a new house etc does not mean that his responsibility to your dd's should change. I would have a word with him about it and see what he thinks before taking it further, hopefully he will see thats its not an unreasonable request. Even if he just helps with uniforms and trips on top of the usual £400 it would help and shouldnt be too much to ask, afterall its not as if she will be needing them every month

If the agreement stated that the amount would be reviewed every year hes damn lucky youve allowed him to get away without one for the last 4 years. Of course his contribution should increase.