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Original poster

Stressed about SMP

30 replies

roundaboutflo · 28/12/2022 22:24

I'm due on the 24th of February and started my maternity leave on the 4th of December (early I know but I couldn't sit any longer so it was that it take sickness leave which would have financially crippled me earlier) so I'm on my '90% of pay' this month and January which is doable but then I'm down to SMP.

I'm so stressed about it because i honestly don't know how we're going to cover the bills. I've checked with citizens advice and myself and my partner are entitled to a grand total of £31 a month in UC (even with that there's a 12 week waiting list). Our household bills and rent come to £1,000 (this is all essentials we don't have Sky, Netflix or anything like that). On top of that we both have cars we have to pay for and can't get out of + car insurance etc.

I am meant to be on Maternity leave until September as my partner said he'd be happy to cover the house bills and rent but now he's saying he might not be able to do it (bit late when I'm due 24th if February and bills come out 1st March) even if I go back to work we need childcare as non of my family live near and with both of us working until 10pm at night nursery's are out of the question so would have to be a nanny (not cheap)

I honestly can't see a way out of this shirt if leaving my partner and being a single mom but no part of me wants to break up a happy family just because we can't afford to live together. It's making me so depressed I just cried at my midwife appointment today and all they say is 'oh I'm sure it will be ok'.

Any advice?

OP posts:
Catterpillarwithconverse · 28/12/2022 22:35

Sell one of your cars, even if you still have to pay insurance you'd still have more money in your pocket.

How were you going to finance the rest of your maternity leave anyway?

What do you work as? Once baby is a few months older can you do similar but work office hours and use a childminder rather than a nursery as they are cheaper.

Overthebow · 28/12/2022 22:40

What was your plan for childcare when you go back to work? Can you go back earlier? Not ideal but if you need to then you might have to.

Orangesare · 28/12/2022 22:43

I think you can do self employed work whilst on maternity leave

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 28/12/2022 22:45

Catterpillarwithconverse · 28/12/2022 22:35

Sell one of your cars, even if you still have to pay insurance you'd still have more money in your pocket.

How were you going to finance the rest of your maternity leave anyway?

What do you work as? Once baby is a few months older can you do similar but work office hours and use a childminder rather than a nursery as they are cheaper.

This is something I've looked at but my other half needs his car for work no car=no job and if we sold his car we wouldn't even fit the dog in mine and mine is on like a hire purchase loan thing so it's not mine to sell and even if I surrendered it I'd still be paying off the £8500 that's on it just without a car.( hands up I stupidly brought the car two years ago when I didn't know my other half and had no intention of settling down but if a hedonistic purchase) Also without a car visiting my family would be impossible as they live in rural England (no buses sort of England let alone trains) and as a unfortunate loner that would be any support network I have gone.

I work in recruitment and annoyingly they e locked me out of my emails and stuff so I can't even try to earn commission when I'm off. It also states in our contracts that if we are caught working elsewhere or for ourselves it's a sackable offence (not sure whether they'd carry this through but not worth the risk)

From the moment I got pregnant the way we were going to fund my maternity leave was my other half was to get a second care job (which he has) and pick up more hours as unlike me he's payed hourly so theoretically he could make enough however for him to turn around tonight and say I'm not sure is so errrgghh

OP posts:
Original poster
roundaboutflo · 28/12/2022 22:46

Orangesare · 28/12/2022 22:43

I think you can do self employed work whilst on maternity leave

Yeah I've been looking at my options. Obviously couldn't do self employed work in the industry I work in because of my contract (sigh) but I'd be more than open to discovering other things

I know one lady said Hermes drivers are self employed are there any other jobs that are classed as such?

OP posts:
Original poster
roundaboutflo · 28/12/2022 22:50

Overthebow · 28/12/2022 22:40

What was your plan for childcare when you go back to work? Can you go back earlier? Not ideal but if you need to then you might have to.

The plan was to get a nanny for the hours that myself and my partners work overlaps. I can go back earlier the only issue is my SMP starts on the 24th of February which is my due date

and I know it sounds slightly entitled (which I really don't mean to come across like) but it annoys me that I've worked since I was 16 paying my taxes ( and god knows I've payed tax payed £900 on one month last year) and I won't get time to bond with my child I feel like I'm being punished for having worked

OP posts:
Catterpillarwithconverse · 28/12/2022 23:05

You could look into self employed virtual PA work that you could do from home...again once baby is a few months old.

I think you need to do some number crunching though. Exactly how much more do you need to pay the bills?

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 28/12/2022 23:07

Catterpillarwithconverse · 28/12/2022 23:05

You could look into self employed virtual PA work that you could do from home...again once baby is a few months old.

I think you need to do some number crunching though. Exactly how much more do you need to pay the bills?

That's something I'd certainly be interested in looking at !

In terms of numbers of my OH suddenly decides not to help out with my half of the bills and rent then I need £500 extra for bills and that would leave me with £0 so no baby classes , I'll have to reject medical appointments for baby as can't get there. I feel like I'm failing my child and he's not even here yet

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 28/12/2022 23:36

If you can't afford to be off longer then you'll need to go back to work earlier. I had to go back when my 2 ds's were four and five months old and they survived ( only part time though). UC will pay help with childcare costs so you would see your UC go up when you start to need to pay childcare costs. You may need to consider changing jobs to something where the hours are more Nursery/ childminder friendly or consider hours that fit around each other to reduce childcare costs.

ConsuelaHammock · 29/12/2022 04:30

Save as much as you can out of the next two months pay. Investigate selling your car . Plan to go back to work much earlier than you had originally planned . Can you move to a cheaper 1 bed until you get back on your feet ?

Lineeyes222 · 29/12/2022 04:44

How much does your partner earn? Is he a los earner? £1000 expenses a month sound quite doable on an average salary.

If your partner is refusing to pay because he wants the money for himself, then he's being a selfish asshole. Why did he agree before and now changed his mind?

gogohmm · 29/12/2022 07:38

What does your partner earn? If you only get £31 uc then it must be ok, your bills are normal but I guess you have expensive cars?

Firstly it's 5 weeks not 12 weeks wait for uc, I could apply on the day after my job ended so it will be the day after your 90% ends. Secondly save what you can for you now, remember babies really don't need much, nearly everything people buy are extras (get as much information about breastfeeding now, watch tutorials etc as that is a huge saving even for a few weeks).

Could you find childcare work eg a nanny job that you can take your baby with you, this is what I did. Finally your partner needs to step up, if he won't then seriously consider leaving

Poppymil · 29/12/2022 07:43

Is this your first baby? You might be able to get a maternity grant which is £500, always worth checking and if you are eligible you should get it in a couple of weeks x

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 29/12/2022 09:44

gogohmm · 29/12/2022 07:38

What does your partner earn? If you only get £31 uc then it must be ok, your bills are normal but I guess you have expensive cars?

Firstly it's 5 weeks not 12 weeks wait for uc, I could apply on the day after my job ended so it will be the day after your 90% ends. Secondly save what you can for you now, remember babies really don't need much, nearly everything people buy are extras (get as much information about breastfeeding now, watch tutorials etc as that is a huge saving even for a few weeks).

Could you find childcare work eg a nanny job that you can take your baby with you, this is what I did. Finally your partner needs to step up, if he won't then seriously consider leaving

He currently earns 1,300 before tax in his main job and then has a second job where he is bank staff and can earn anywhere between 300-600 before tax

As far as I'm aware his car isn't expensive as his dad brought it and he pays him back (like £100 a month?) he said his personal bills are £500 I can only imagine that the crash he has last year has put his insurance through the roof

OP posts:
Heyahun · 29/12/2022 09:56

You know smp isn’t too bad - you get around 600 almost months

havw you actually calculated how much every single outgoing is?

wrote it all down on an excel spreadsheet - and then figure out the total monthly income from your partner and your smp and you will see if your actually gonna manage it or not.

Maternity leave is cheap tbh I just walked and walked with my baby and lazy Home days with her watching films

WooWooWinnie · 29/12/2022 10:02

This is yours and your partner’s problem to solve together - not just yours. You need to sit down together, be completely open about finances and decide what you’re going to do as a partnership. If you are the higher earner, could you do shared parental leave and your partner stay at home to look after baby, enabling you to go back to work earlier than planned?

grumpytoddler1 · 29/12/2022 11:01

If your car is on pcp, once you have made 50% of the payments you can hand it back to the finance company. If you've had it for two years you may well have already paid over 50%. Get in contact with them and find out. That would get you out of a significant monthly expense and if you end up struggling without a car you can always replace it with something cheaper in the future.

Throwncrumbs · 29/12/2022 11:31

I had to go back to work asap after my children were born as we couldn’t afford for me not too, couldn’t claim any benefits as when you have a mortgage you seemed to be exempt from claiming anything (over 24 years ago) my husband worked days and I worked nights, it was hard, I don’t know how I survived with so little sleep, but it’s amazing what you can do when you absolutely have too.

Lineeyes222 · 29/12/2022 14:44

If your partner earns 1300 +300 that's around 19000 a year, which works out to be around £1400 a month after tax. You will get around £600 in SMP per month until month 9, so you'll have £2000 together per month.

£1000 expenses plus your partners £500 means you will still have £500 left over between you and your partner for other things. Your partner needs to either step up and accept the responsibility of having a child or you should leave him as a man who'd put the mother of his child through so much unnecessary stress is frankly useless.

FLOWER1982 · 29/12/2022 14:54

dont forget you can put in a claim for child benefit once your child is born. That’s £21.80 a week on top of your smp.

Monica2507 · 29/12/2022 15:22

SMP and child benefit is also going up by 10% from April.

Whatafielddayfortheheat · 29/12/2022 15:27

Sorry OP did I read that right- you paid 900 of tax a month?! That can't be right unless you were earning like 5000 a month. See if you're on the right tax code, you may be due a rebate.

Original poster
roundaboutflo · 29/12/2022 15:51

Whatafielddayfortheheat · 29/12/2022 15:27

Sorry OP did I read that right- you paid 900 of tax a month?! That can't be right unless you were earning like 5000 a month. See if you're on the right tax code, you may be due a rebate.

I have a base salary then get commission some months. So yeah I'm definitely due a tax rebate but I don't think that happens till April and last year it wasn't calculated until October

OP posts:
Catterpillarwithconverse · 29/12/2022 19:55

In terms of numbers of my OH suddenly decides not to help out with my half of the bills and rent then I need £500 extra for bills and that would leave me with £0 so no baby classes , I'll have to reject medical appointments for baby as can't get there. I feel like I'm failing my child and he's not even here yet

He has to pay for your half if he can afford it. It should even be called "your half" because it's not it's for your baby. What's he doing for his half of the pregnancy?...nothing because he can't but he can financially contribute.

You're not failing your child, he is...if he can afford to pay all the bills and just isn't willing

LIZS · 29/12/2022 19:58

You can reclaim the tax overpayment in April. Look into cancelling either/both of the car finance and yes the baby's father needs to step up.

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