Don't want to get married - tips on sorting out alternative legal stuff

[Deckthehalls11]

Hi everyone. Just looking for a sanity check.

I live with my partner. We have no children of our own and I am the high earner and own our home (had it before we met). We both knew from early on it's a 'forever' relationship. My partner has two DC who I/partner/partner's Mum see as my stepchildren (although I know it's not the case legally).

I don't want to get married. It doesn't feel necessary for my situation or 'right' for me. I thought maybe this will change when we are older i.e. making legalities easier.

In the meantime I do want to make sure my partner and stepchildren are taken care of should anything happen to me i.e. they are not left homeless. I believe the best way is to write a will.

If we buy together in the future as tenants in common I read that I would inherit his half of the house and this supersedes anything in his will? His will is written out to his kids (done before we met) and if we own a home together I don't see any need for him to change his? There are no 'things' of my partners I can see me being particularly attached to so as far as I am concerned the kids can have whatever things of his they want - as long as I am not left homeless and the house completely stripped of all furniture :D

Am I missing anything?

Thank you

Sorry that should say *kid's mum not partner's...

Civil partnership would give you the inheritance tax rights that marriage would give. There is no other way to get these.

No inheritance tax if you move to some parts of Spain!

www.daviessolicitors.com/inheritance-tax-revolution-in-andalucia-it-is-now-one-of-the-best-places-in-the-world-for-inheritance-tax/

we recently did a civil partnership to solve this. Our kids are grown up but i didn't want either of us to have to sell the house to pay inheritance tax . no vows, just a 10-20 minute mtg to sign the form. did need witnesses though

tempting ;)

Thank you everyone for your helpful responses. Inheritance tax is a really good point.

I will look into inheritance tax and see if the house / my savings etc. is likely to meet the threshold

How old are the children? If you make a will leaving everything to DP & his DC be aware there are circumstances which could mean in worst case scenario situations if they are children then everything of yours could go from you to DP to his DC to their DM which presumably you wouldn't want so you need protections in place if you don't want that to happen, regardless of how unlikely you think it is.

Thanks TheTeenageyears. They are tweens.

I have considered this and will discuss with solicitor.

Say I died first. I was planning on leaving everything to DP (he was never married to his ex if that counts) and then his will leaves everything to his DC, so I am hoping his DC would get my estate eventually that way.

If he died first, and then I died, I would want his DC to get my estate, but at an age where they're responsible enough to deal with it.

I don't want his ex and her husband to get her hands on my estate. I get on with them but they don't have much work ethic and rely on her husband's rich parent's money. They'd be very happy to live off my money I am sure 😂. I shall mention this to the solicitor.

I think if it's just marriage you're against, you could enter a civil partnership and that would give you equivalent legal protection.
If that's not something you want, you will have to deal with inheritance tax (above a certain threshold, think £325k at the moment and could change). Also certain pensions only benefit spouses and dependents so that might also be of interest. And I think you might want to put something in writing regarding power if attorney in case of something bad happening.
For the kids you could put things in a trust for them and then appoint a couple of trustees to oversee it? Your solicitor should know all about that.

@Deckthehalls11 Think plane crash or similar. All the time DP's DC are children their next of kin will inherit from them so there is the possibility of you to DP to DC to DC's DM in the very worst case.

“If we buy together in the future as tenants in common I read that I would inherit his half of the house and this supersedes anything in his will?”

You’ve got the wrong tenancy. That’s “Joint Tenants” - meaning that you both own all of the house jointly, and when one dies the survivor owns it entirely, the will cannot over ride that. The survivor is still liable for IHT.

Tenants in Common you separately own a specified %, and your % can be willed to someone - potentially forcing the survivor to sell up if they can’t buy out the person inheriting according to the will.

The advice is for you not to buy with him in future. But if you do, be careful of what you’re giving away with Joint Tenants. If you put in more than 50% then split up - he’s going to get more than he deserves. All because you wanted to leave him the whole house if you died - which you could do with a will anyway, without the risk of giving away part of your asset in your lifetime.

In fact as you get older, some much older couples deliberately sever the Joint Tenants to 50/50 Tenants in Common. That means a % can be left to children and not (potentially) swallowed up by care home fees for the survivor.

thank you v helpful. too late to mention I have a phobia of flying? 😂

@Testina thank you for the correction and your solid advice, I meant to say joint-tenants but got mixed up.

I think buying together is a long way off. Really helpful about the 50-50 situation and I've had similar thoughts.

Sorry if this is a stupid question if you die and you are joint-tenants does your partner get the house and the things in it? Could there be a situation where partner inherits the 'home' but because of a will, DCs could in theory take anything not screwed down? I.e. furnishings, ornaments bought together? Entirely hypothetical, just curious!

I Google the Joint / In Common thing every time 🤣 I think the “in common” phrase sounds much more like it’s the “everyone owns it together” one!

Absolutely yes to your hypothetical scenario - the house is separate to content so they would go to whomever was willed them, or follow intestacy if no will.

I imagine (though it’s just me thinking aloud) that you’d follow the same rules of fixtures & fitting we when house selling and buying. So included in the Joint Tenancy would be your bath… but not the fancy candles on the shelf next to it 🤣

@Testina i think this is where I got confused.

Thanks for the explanation lol I was thinking similar. God being unmarried is slightly complicated. It’s almost like people get married for a reason 😂.