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do we still need to be paying maintenance

13 replies

CayKon · 01/02/2008 09:50

My dsd has recently given up 3 of her as levels, so she now does 1 as and is resitting a gcse and is planning to work inbetween.

I was under the impression you only had to pay maintenance to children 19 or under and in full time education.

1 as and i gcse resit is hardly full time.

Am i right to think we can stop her share of maintenence now.

My dh wants me to cancel the standing order but I want to be sure we are in the right first.

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Lauriefairycake · 01/02/2008 09:54

I'm sorry I don't know the answer to this but wondered if she already had a job?

If she then did more A levels would you automatically restart? - my friend pays maintenance for his daughter and she had to resit before she went to university (had a bit of a temporary screw up) but then she went on to uni and finished her degree so it only really extended the maintenance by a year as he obviously paid through uni too.

CayKon · 01/02/2008 10:05

I dont want people to get the wrong impression. We would rather she stayed on and we carried on paying.

She is very able just lazy. She has now got a much older bf and she throwing things away.

Her mum is perfectly fine with this and doesnt seem to care, so by stopping the money it is her we hit hard. She relies on the money (not to spend on the dc) but for herself.

So we were thinking if the money stopped she may think twice about what her dd is doing.

I know she needs to make her own choices, but I threw away my education and now regret it, I am 95% sure she will feel the same by my age.

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CayKon · 01/02/2008 10:49

bump

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Stopfighting · 01/02/2008 10:56

If the mother spends the money on herself, I would have wanted to stop it a long time ago

harman · 01/02/2008 11:02

Message withdrawn

sophiewd · 01/02/2008 11:15

What agreement does your DH have with his ex?

FioFio · 01/02/2008 11:18

This reply has been deleted

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CayKon · 01/02/2008 12:59

dsd thinks she has it hard having to study, so yes if she lived with us we would make her pay her own way, but not because we dont care but because she needs to learn.
We want her to have a good education so she has choices. Not giving up her alevels to waitress in pizza hut.

As far as are ex yes she does put a roof over head, we live near dss schhol, he pops into me at lunchtime as sex has forgotton do do him lunch, he eats with us most evenings, and we buy the majority of the kids clothes as they end up in ill fitting clothes else.

This isnt because she is on the bread line both her and new husband work ft they have an immaculate large house, buy they come first.

This however isnt about what they do with the money, we have never not paid, even now we will support dsd through her education, but we feel she needs to learn that everything in life isnt handed to her on a plate, its hard, and you have to work hard.

We don't however want the csa on our back if we have no choice but to pay for her to doss.

She only intends working a few hours a week, as she feels tired after her lessons so doesnt want to go straight to work, and doesnt want to do many evenings as that is when bf is about and she would miss him, and weekends she needs time for herself to socilise else she would end up lonely.
I wish i could be like that towards work and be fed cloth, roof over my head and money in my pocket.

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harman · 01/02/2008 13:31

Message withdrawn

CayKon · 01/02/2008 13:36

harman - but will taht make her think twice about leaving school. She still wont be having to work to keep herself. She will just get money from us and either spend it or give it to her mum. But it still makes it easy for her to do nothing.

We don't care if she doesnt want to do uni, but even a levels or a vocational course will give her more oppertunities and make it easier for her to train for a job than just her gcse's.

We are not even bothered about paying the money, we would triple the maintenence if she would just get something behind her. The money isnt the real issue. We just do not want to make it easy for her to waste her life.

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harman · 01/02/2008 14:04

Message withdrawn

BrownSuga · 01/02/2008 14:12

If the money isn't an issue, can you tell them you'll put it in a bank account for dsd. That way if she bucks up her ideas you'd have a little aside for her uni fees etc... and if not, put aside for her potential future wedding/house deposit/or other such useful thing you can think of

From a legal site:
However, 16 is the minimum age where child maintenance can stop. Between the ages of 16 and 19, if the child is enrolled full-time in school (more than 12 hours per week and the course is up to and including A level), child maintenance for the child must be paid. This does not apply to advanced study, like study at a college or university, this only includes non-advanced study. Although a child may have several long breaks, the non-custodial parent still owes child maintenance during school breaks. If the child leaves full-time schooling in the summer, the non-custodial parent generally owes child support until the first week of September, of that year.

CayKon · 01/02/2008 20:50

thanks brownsuga that helps.
We have money put up for uni fees, etc. She already knows in a few months she can lern to drive and we promised her driving lessons and a car. We wont go back on that.

we just feel she needs to learn that without a good education she is likely to end up in a not so well paid job and people wont be around to pay for everything. By stopping money now, we are hoping she will be begging for school in september

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