How to split finances after mortgage paid off

[Morph22010]

We’ve stayed in same house for nearly 25 years and mortgage will be paid off next year. Dp is abit rubbish with money and budgeting so when we moved in we split the finances so he paid mortgage and I paid bills and bought food etc., thst way he just had one dd to manage going out just after payday. at the time this was roughly equal amounts and our wages were about equal. Obviously over time cost of food and bills has increased but mortgage stayed the same, however my salary increased so it was still a fair split, I am now paid 3x what dp is. I’m not sure what is reasonable when the mortgage ends, we can’t really do the split so that we each have equal funds after all bills as I would still have more even if he paid nothing and it just doesn’t sit right him not contributing at all. The mortgage is only £400 so if he was to carry on contributing the same funds to the household each month that seems like a reasonable cost to cover everything however then it’s only me getting the advantage of the mortgage finishing, would £200 be a fair amount? We have one child who is disabled and I get the child benefit and dla for him but also pay for all his costs like clothes, entertainment, Christmas presents etc. dp is more of a spender when he has money whereas I tend to save, hence never having joint accounts.

the situation has worked well for 24 years so won’t be changing anything till mortgage ends but just want ideas of what is fair after mortgage finishes

Have you got enough savings ?
six months of living expenses saved up
enough for new cars, new boiler, new roof ?
how are your pension provisions ?

I can’t imagine being so well off that only £200 a month towards living costs would be enough! That would barely cover my own food, never mind cooking it and keeping it chilled and frozen with the current cost of bills.

He needs to pay for all his own share of all the bills, surely.

how do you fund holidays ?

Could you just have an account where bills all come out of and both put some money into this

We are similar position and DH pays main bills ans I get food and children's stuff this works out about equal around £600 a month each. It's not exact but seems to work for us. That or above

We don't have a mortgage anymore and we have separate accounts. We just pay an equal share of bills. He's responsible for heating and electric and I'm in charge of council tax, insurances and broadband. We split food. I would change the direct debit of a bill over to him.

£200 is no where near half as I spend £80 a week on food alone. He’s not been paying half for a while even when paying £400 on the mortgage as I’m the higher earner. I tend to pay for holidays as I book them and then he’ll pay for drinks, meals etc when we are away, we tend to holiday in the uk out of direct holiday season so don’t spend a lot on hols. I have savings in my name, he has no savings. We both need to improve our pensions, i went full time this year from 4 days so am going to be topping up mine with the extra I am earning. Dp did mention paying more into his when the mortgage was finished. We get £265 a month from the Council because we take our child to school ourselves instead of a Taxi so i put that aside to pay for car expenses.

I think what you are suggesting sounds fine but perhaps your mortgage ending is a good chance to sit down together and think about what your financial priorities are and to do something useful with the money that has been freed up.

Is your partners pension lacking compared to your because you are the higher earner?

Would you like to save for holidays or a caravan or camper van.

Do you need to save for an extension or bigger house one day?

Perhaps the £400 could be redirected to either joint savings or £200 each (if they need to be individual) with a view to your shared goals.

This is assuming your husband has enough for a good quality of life in keeping with your quality of life after paying the £400.

We've been doing it so long I know have no idea how couples cope without three current accounts. One personal account each, and a joint account for joint expenditure (mortgage/rent, food, all household bills, child costs). You both get paid into your personal accounts. You both pay into the joint account an agreed amount each month. Whether that's equal or not is up to you and your circumstances. Ideally the monthly amount should include enough extra that it builds up a savings pot for rainy day costs.

Genuine question, not goady and sorry if I have missed something obvious. Why do the you get money from the council to take your kids to school?

I’d redirect the £400 into his pension as a catch up.

Why don't you transfer the council tax and one other smaller bill into his name for payment, then you are both slightly better off for paying off the mortgage.

Or he could transfer money into a holiday/home maintenance account.

Me and DH pay proportionate amounts to our take home pay. Technically his salary is 5x what I earn but on take home pay just under 1/3 is fair for me. He pays higher taxes and puts more into his pension but I have an LGPS pension whereas his is private. We pay our contribution into a joint account and the rest stays in our personal account. He does have more left at the end of the month but he's the one who went through uni and has moved up the career ladder into his very technical job. I don't begrudge him having more money and he'd never leave me struggling.

I'm assuming the child is entitled to free transport for whatever reason - usually that the nearest school is more than a certain distance away. Depending on the circumstances it can be cheaper for the council to give the parents expenses.

I think you need to sit down with a list of the bills, a list of money coming in and decide a list of priorities. It may be a difficult conversation though.

DH and I cope with one account, all money in, pensions and savings and bills out, and then we just spend the rest. But we have broadly similar income and similar financial outlook on life

Thank you @WrongLife

@KendrickLamaze
If a child has SEN and is eligible for home to school transport, parents can be offered a taxi/ bus etc or they can take the mileage costs and transport themselves.

my son is autistic and goes to a special school which is 10 miles away, as its the nearest school that can meet needs and is over a certain distance the council have to provide transport, usually they provide a taxi but theres a personal budget option if you take them yourself (which works out a lot cheaper for council)

Sounds like you really need to sit down and assess your finances. If hems only been contributing £400 to the household, what is happening with the rest of his income?

Would seem reasonable to decide on a certain percentage of both your incomes to put into a joint account which you could both use to pay all household bills, food, children's clothes etc. Then decide how much you both want to put into savings and whatever is left over is your's.

First you need to figure out what your household outgoing are each month and work from there

Thank you for explaining @Morph22010 and I hope it wasn't too intrusive. I hadn't heard of it before and got nosy.

In response to your actual question, DP and I do a similar thing and when the mortgage is eventually paid off, all the bills will continue to be taken from my bank and he will pay me half of those bills from his salary. We don't earn the same but that's how we have worked it out. I know Mumsnet frowns on that.

HI OP,

If your DP doesn't have a good pension, putting the mortgage money into that would be my suggestion, if it's not crucial to a reasonable standard of living.

As you say he spends, I would ensure that his £400 contribution is still give. Bills and food have risen massively,. What does he do with the rest of his money fi £400 a month is all he contributes to the family pot? so I would suggest:
agreeing a set amount for bills as a DD into a bill account
a DD into a new joint savings account to cover house repairs, boilers, white goods, decoration coats
a monthly payment into his pension

I can’t get my head round how low your household costs seem to be.
We have no mortgage but our expenses are more like £1400 a month, and this includes a modest holiday in the U.K., and all our car expenses.
The annual bills of insurances and green Council bin and so on add a lot of money a month

we then have food on top, and petrol too, so together about £500 a month

you need the MoneySavingExpert statement of affairs, look on the debt free board, and need to properly work out your family annual expenses, and then add a small amount as a repairs fund.

please don’t subsidise him, so he can have nearly a full wage to just spend and fritter away.

Surely your joint income is FAMILY MONEY. You put your money together and after all the bills are paid you split the difference 50/50 between you. That's the advice given on this site time and time again. Only this time it is the woman with the higher income - got to be a word for that ?.

joint account all money goes into for all expenses and an equal amount for your own spends in your personal accounts.

I’ve not said how much my bills are just that they were roughly equal to about £400 24 years ago obviously now they are much higher but my salary has gone up through promotions to compensate. I get about £3500 net a month and dp gets about £1800 net a month. Then I also get dla and child benefit for ds about £450 a month and £265 towards travel costs as Ds at special school

bills are
gas/elec 115
virgin 100
water 50
council tax 115
tv licence 13
boiler cover 22
shopping approx £80 a week

so about £735 in total, I then have my personal bills on top like car lease, mobile and car fuel. I do the big weekly shop but dp picks up bits and pieces as well so pays for some shopping

income has gone up this year as moved to full time so I’m savings loads and putting a good chunk into pension and have started a pension for ds as he may potentially never be able to work

The issue with this is that dp gets back more than his salary

I earn just over £1800 and contribute £750 to joint expenses. I pay for my car and my insurance separately out of my own money but that still leaves me with enough to spend on myself and enough to put £250 in savings.

Our joint expenses include days/nights out. It also includes new things for the house, decorating, home maintenance, gardening expenses etc. We don't spend it all every month but it builds up a pot that can be used for one-off expenses as well as paying the bills. Like this month we've bought a new Christmas tree to replace our tatty old one and had the boiler serviced using money from our joint account.