Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

I'm really frightened

39 replies

herbaltea21 · 01/12/2022 21:08

I've name changed for this as I'm ashamed, frightened and embarrassed.

I am a single parent to two children. I am in the process of moving into a council property. I was married but my husband walked out. I was a victim of mental abuse and I had support via women's aid and minds matters to help me overcome what I went though.

Over the past couple of years I have accumulated debt of just under £2500 through credit cards and 1 personal loan. How did it get so high? I just don't know. I just haven't been able to get my head above water since my husband left me and I have fallen into the cycle of living off credit cards.

I have just completed a step change online account set up as I cannot afford to pay my bills now my circumstances have changed. I NEED to move my life forward. I need to get on top of this. It recommended me to apply for debt breathing space and to call them tomorrow.

My whole body feels stone cold right now. I'm so embarrassed, I feel like a complete failure. I feel like I'm going to have no options. I'm so worried about loosing my bank account/my job (I work in the finical industry and have done for 10 plus years).

Has anyone been here? I am assuming I'll be put onto a debt management plan but my budget only suggests I have £100 spare per month :(

Can anyone help settle my nerves :( any positive stories? Have I done the right thing?

OP posts:
Swampthing55 · 03/12/2022 07:52

If you are quite young 27 years is manageable. My ex left me in a ton of debt , about £50,000 which I got a dmp to deal with as I was also in financial services and couldn't have an iva or ccj if I worked there. minne was for 12 years initially but everytime I got a bit of money I offered it in full and final settlement and they accepted sometimes. I paid it off in five years. For example I owed the Halifax £4,000 I had £200 from selling stuff on eBay offered it to settle in full and they accepted it. The cost of them operating these plans where you are paying tiny amounts each month, maybe £10 are huge and they are glad to close them off. I used birthday money etc anytime there was something extra, worked overtime, an hour a day adds up over a month. I was 45 at the time

BarbaraofSeville · 03/12/2022 07:52

Why has my post been hidden?

All I said was that a 27 year DMP was ridiculous, that the OP should look into a DRO and gave a link to the MSE forum that talks about reviewing your budget so it includes all essential expenses.

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 03/12/2022 07:59

I spoke to a different debt advice and they advised an IVA. But I really don't want to have to close my bank accounts so I'm unsure what to do. Can anyone advise or is it best to speak to step change?

pistachioshells · 03/12/2022 08:05

Many years ago I made a right hash of my finances and ended up in about £37k of debt. I was juggling things between 0% credit cards but the credit card companies were only asking for like a fiver a month in repayment. Eventually all those silly offers dried up and all of a sudden interest was accruing and I had to pay hundreds back per month. What a horrible, panicky mess I was in!

Thankfully I was able to admit it to my family and though they didn't have any money, they were good budgeters and agreed to take out a low interest loan in their name which I would pay back. But there were conditions attached...I had to be accountable to them and also promise to not use any more cards. I got through it!

Your situation is different but once you get onto a structured plan (or IVA may be better), you won't look back. It'll mess up your credit rating for a few years but you'll be able to breathe and sleep and will have enough each month to pay your bills and feed yourself. You absolutely can get through it! ❤️

Pugdogmom · 03/12/2022 08:13

I work in Money Advice and Welfare Rights, but I'm North of the Border so our debt solutions are different, so wouldn't give you tailored advice.
Whilst Stepchange are a fabulous organisation, it concerns me that a 27 year old DMP is ALL they are offering. That's a long long time. Even though our laws are different here, I wouldn't advise a client on a 27 year old DMP. I'd think about Bankruptcy, but you need proper advice on that based on your circumstances.
Also they should be factoring in stuff like Emergency saving etc into your Income and Expenditure, in case of stuff breaking etc.
I would explore other options with another free money advice organisation such as Money Advice Trust. Please don't panic and jump into first solution without exploring them all.
You absolutely did the right thing in dealing with your debt.

Money saving expert forum is absolutely great for support for people in debt, particularly emotional and practical support.

BarbaraofSeville · 03/12/2022 08:18

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 03/12/2022 07:59

I spoke to a different debt advice and they advised an IVA. But I really don't want to have to close my bank accounts so I'm unsure what to do. Can anyone advise or is it best to speak to step change?

Are you the OP with a name change fail or someone else?

In any case, an IVA is only usually suitable if you have a property to protect. There are also a lot of commercial organisations who try to push people into unsuitable IVAs because it makes a lot of money for the supervisor aka the debt advice organisation.

IVAs can be right for some people, but are not always the correct solution. No-one can advise anyone on the best way out of debt without a full picture of their finances and other relevant circumstances such as owning or renting, single or in a couple, and whether their job would be effected by bankruptcy.

Moneysaving Expert is probably one of the best ways of finding online help from a truely independent source, but it seems that MN has banned me from linking to them, so you'll have to find the right bits of their website yourself Smile

Willmafrockfit · 03/12/2022 08:33

presumably that amount of time will reduce when you are able to take on more work?

Dashel · 03/12/2022 08:34

I think it sounds like it’s mostly under control, but I would echo another poster suggested Money Saving Expert. Start a thread to act as diary, join in the challenges, but post and have support and you won’t feel quite so alone.

Lots of people will be on there in similar circumstances.

Aubree17 · 03/12/2022 09:43

Pugdogmom · 03/12/2022 08:13

I work in Money Advice and Welfare Rights, but I'm North of the Border so our debt solutions are different, so wouldn't give you tailored advice.
Whilst Stepchange are a fabulous organisation, it concerns me that a 27 year old DMP is ALL they are offering. That's a long long time. Even though our laws are different here, I wouldn't advise a client on a 27 year old DMP. I'd think about Bankruptcy, but you need proper advice on that based on your circumstances.
Also they should be factoring in stuff like Emergency saving etc into your Income and Expenditure, in case of stuff breaking etc.
I would explore other options with another free money advice organisation such as Money Advice Trust. Please don't panic and jump into first solution without exploring them all.
You absolutely did the right thing in dealing with your debt.

Money saving expert forum is absolutely great for support for people in debt, particularly emotional and practical support.

This is great advice.
I think you need to go back and ask why bankruptcy is not an option. For most people it will be to save the family home or protect a profession.
I just can't see this being sustainable for 27 years.

Original poster
herbaltea21 · 03/12/2022 16:41

@BarbaraofSeville no that wasn't me posting.

OP posts:
Original poster
herbaltea21 · 03/12/2022 16:42

Thanks all I am going to give them a ring on Monday.
I can't understand why they said that every other option wasn't suitable :(

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/12/2022 02:42

My DMP lasted for just over 9 years. I did have an IVA suggested but as I said I couldn't go down that avenue. 27 years seems a very long time. Let us know what they say when you call them again.

LocSeeTan · 04/12/2022 02:52

2.5 grand is a piss in the ocean.

Iva's and bankruptcy are not an option as the debt is really small.
Step change will help you freeze the interest on debt and allow you to pay it back in affordable amounts.
Dont get yourself worked up over this and dont sell your car or you will find it difficult and expensive to find the funds for a replacement in the future.

Rtmhwales · 04/12/2022 02:53

LocSeeTan · 04/12/2022 02:52

2.5 grand is a piss in the ocean.

Iva's and bankruptcy are not an option as the debt is really small.
Step change will help you freeze the interest on debt and allow you to pay it back in affordable amounts.
Dont get yourself worked up over this and dont sell your car or you will find it difficult and expensive to find the funds for a replacement in the future.

The OP clarified further on that £2500 was a mistype and it's actually £25,000 unfortunately.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page