Looking for advice - can you force sell a house?

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DP and his ex broke up 4 years ago (never married) they bought a house together and are both 50/50 owners. (They have a kid together but it’s 50/50 shared custody)

He’s stayed on the mortgage these last 4 years as she she won’t sell or buy him out.

We have 2 kids together and are looking to buy a place together as we don’t want to keep renting and want to make a home but can’t get a mortgage as he doesn’t earn enough to be on 2 mortgages. There is about 20 grand equity in the house that is his and 20 grand that is hers. He can’t just sign over his half as it’s needed for a deposit on a new place.

Has anyone been through similar or is there any advice as to what we can do to speed the process along? Or is there a legal route we can take. He’s tried numerous times over the years to do this amicably and has asked nicely but she simply says no and I don’t know what to do. My kids ask to do things to the house and I have to say no - I would love to make a real home and buy things that I know I want to keep for my home but I can’t.

Yes you can apply for a court order if one party of a joint property wants to sell a jointly owned property and the other party doesnt. I believe it is a costly & long process especially if the other party isn’t open to sorting the situation out. You would need to seek legal advice as there is no easy option.

Yes of course he can, he can ask a solicitor to start the ball rolling - but it’s not going to be quick.

Why he didn’t sort this out before going on to have 2 more kids though…

Yes, but be aware that he is unlikely to get a very good price for it because if the people living there don't want to move out then they aren't going to make much effort to present it nicely and attractively for potential buyers. If he goes down the legal route he could easily find that the property sells for £20k less than it might otherwise, and God knows how many thousands of pounds would be spent on legal fees, and the amount of equity he gets out at the end of the process will be much less than you might think once that is accounted for.

Can he offer her money to sell? Solicitor and court costs can really escalate and will eat into the equity in the house.

I would suggest that as he only has £20k equity in this house, it may be better for him to sign the house over to her completely. It will cost a fair bit of that £20k to go down the legal route.

It’s worth considering, but he still needs her to buy him out. I’m guessing there’s a chance that she simply won’t get a mortgage to do so - especially with the interest rises! So certainly a sweetener to give up the £20K but if he’s going to have to go down a legal route anyway, he may as well keep his equity. Certainly gifting her his equity would need to be tied up and dependent on the remortgage.
Not sure if she’d be liable for CGT on the gift too, as it’s not part of divorce proceedings.

She can’t afford a mortgage on her own and doesn’t want to be bought out

Then he'll have to force a sale but it's a costly process, I've seen on here people mention 20-30k in fees. Although that would swallow all his equity the chances are that may not matter to him if it being sold can mean he can get finally get his own mortgage.

She will probably get a mescher order until her child is 18 if it goes down the legal route. Is the child young?
If she can’t afford to buy him out then how can she afford to house herself and child? The courts priority is the children and if you & partner are housing yours currently then why would they change the status quo?

You need to all come together and do what’s best for all children involved.

Why can’t YOU buy? Why does it have to be at the expense or another child’s home?

That’s wrong @CiderJolly - Mesher Orders (not Mescher) are only available for married couples who are divorcing, so doesn’t apply here.

I do personally think this man has a moral though not legal obligation to consider a private agreement that mimics a Mesher Order.

So if selling up would leave his child in substandard / insecure accommodation, or perhaps cause them to have to move school, he should morally put his child first. By substandard I don’t mean from a big house on the best street to a small flat in an area that’s fine. I mean, if all the other parent could afford was a bedsit co-sleeping in block of flats plagued by drug users. I think he (in this case, but I’d apply it to either sex) should also consider if he made joint decisions with his ex that financially disadvantaged her but not him. The classic, moved to an area good for his job but not hers, he stormed ahead in career whilst she was a SAHM that he equally chose her to be. All moral considerations for not immediately forcing a sale.

That he now has two other children with OP holds no moral weight with me - he chose to do that before he basically sorted his shit out. So his moral obligation here is adequate housing for his first child.

Again, it blows my mind that OP put herself in this position of relying on a boyfriend for a mortgage after they have 2 kids when he hadn’t sorted this out. Not only hasn’t sorted it, but didn’t even find out his options - evidently, as it’s his girlfriend now asking if there’s a legal route when s simple Google would have told him there was.

I hope the ex doesn’t get screwed over here… but then, I also think she was foolish to put herself in this position. Mostly, I hope they’d child isn’t the one screwed over for OP’s children.

Ok, whether it’s called a Mesher order, the outcome will likely be the same if the situation is as the op describes.

Courts will prioritise the children and if everyone is currently housed but forcing a sale leaves the first child without a secure home then they won’t force the sale.

I think op should try and get a mortgage herself, it might give her the reality check she needs when she realises how difficult this is on your own and with children.

We have shared custody of him so there would be no impact on him. No school change etc, and I can’t get a mortgage alone? Most people can’t.

I think you’re over optimistic. Yes, the mother can use the Children Act 1989 to try to get an order to occupy and delay the sale similar to a Mesher Order. But, Mesher Orders are less common now than in the 80s/90s - and that trend would extend to Children Act orders for the same situation.

Courts don’t like to hold things up indefinitely - there’s been a move in recent years to clean breaks. It’s recognised that the delay isn’t always a good thing - kicking a problem down the line - and it isn’t always fair to restrict the other party.

The FCJ is clear that both parties should expect their living standard to reduce if necessary.
www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/fjc-financial-needs-april-16-final.pdf

With £20K equity, the mother has easily enough money to pay a deposit and 6 months rent (if a guarantor situation). So unless there are specific circumstances why she can’t work, it’s unlikely a court wouldn’t expect her to do so and force the other owner to wait an extended time to be released.

Anyway… whatever the court’s decision I can’t know, of course. But whatever a court decides it’s a really long process.

I agree with you that OP should try getting a mortgage on her own. She might then at least see that her boyfriend’s ex is probably trying to protect her child rather than be awkward!

So for those of you saying I’m wrong for asking for advice - why is it I shouldn’t prioritise my children too. His ex lives in a very nice area; we don’t as we can’t afford to move to a nicer area without him too being on a mortgage.

They had a verbal agreement that they would sell or she would buy him out one the equity loan needed paying back as they would need to remortgage together.

And lastly I’m a SAHM and a uni student my income is very little and he earns 28K a year. His ex earns 34K a year plus benefits.

Did everything go perfectly when you all got with your DP’s? You went and got a full credit check and social history - doubt it. Life is messy and that’s okay. So my children should go to a poorly ofsted rated school just because their dad didn’t want to force his ex out of the house immediately? He said you have two years to get yourself together and then we will sell the house. It’s been 4 and nothing has happened she has just said no and if mumsnet could stop presuming that the ‘new woman’ is a bitch out to get the ex that would be fantastic.

shes just paying the mortgage plus the equity loan interest because he won’t remortgage - she can afford to do this with no problem.

On 28k a year I doubt you'd even get a mortgage right now to be honest with the way things are with the extortionate interest rates, so if I were you, I'd start the legal route in the meantime and accept that his equity may be entirely eaten up by that. Besides that start saving for a deposit, incase the equity is all gone on legal fees.

Then when the legal process is over and the House is sold etc, which could be a couple of years. He will at least be able to purchase with you, you will of finished uni and be working too and yous will be in a better potion. Maybe they should book a session of mediation first before starting legal processes. If she realises she could lose her equity to on legal fees she may well be more inclined to get the ball rolling amicably.

One thing I don't understand is you saying she can't afford a mortgage on her own. When she apparently is earning 12k more than your husband and gets benefits and has one less child for affordability when calculating the mortgage, needs less bedrooms and isn't financially supporting another adult. On paper, it looks like she could afford one more than you.

Oh and by the way, other than child benefit she wouldn't get benefits on 34k for one child.

Sorry I’m not sure why you think you’ll be able to get a mortgage if you don’t work, your partner only earns £28k and already has a mortgage with an ex partner. And you now have two (and a half) kids to support. I hope your studies go well and you can get a well paid job soon, and/or your partner can get a better paid job. Legal issues around forcing a house sale are very difficult but he should seek legal advice (in real life) to see what his best bet is.

“why is it I shouldn’t prioritise my children too.”

Well, the easy answer to that has been given. He chose to go on to have 2 more children before he sorted out what he could afford 🤷🏻‍♀️

So in your shoes absolutely I would prioritise my children. But in both your shoes, I’d have actually sorted my shit out before having them.

There’s a hell of a difference between not doing a full credit check going into a relationship, and not financially closing off a relationship with a child involved, before having more.

So yes - his children with you should go to a poor rated school if the pair of you chose that.

I would be very wary of any solicitor who would take on a client trying to force a sale for the sake of £20k equity. The costs could easily outpace that equity. What savings does he have to pay the associated costs.

For the sake of £20k, his best bet would be to sell his remaining equity to his ex for £1 Can either of them afford the costs of transferring that equity. It will cost a lot less if they agree from the outset.

@FinallyHere the sticking point isn’t the £20K though, it’s that OP says even with the additional £20K of equity the ex can’t afford to take on the mortgage.
It looks like (understandably) being released from the mortgage is more valuable to OP’s boyfriend that £20K.

They had an agreement - she hasn’t followed through with it. What I think would be more unreasonable is when they moved out he told her to get out and sold the house when she was a SAHM. The agreement was to wait a few years so she can get her bits together and get some money together so she doesn’t struggle as he had a kid with her.
should we just have not had kids because his ex is not keeping her word? What if we waited and in 5 years she still won’t sell then we've been waiting 9 years to have a child. We have his son half the time, live in a shit neighbourhood and drive 30 minutes to take him to school 3 days a week because she didn’t keep to her end of the bargain? Ridiculous.

He could look at severing the joint tenancy and holding as tenants in common to reflect his current equity share and coming off the mortgage.

He wouldn't get his capital back but would continue to hold a % share in the property and would be able to get a new mortgage.

If she could get a mortgage just for the outstanding balance it might work.

He would need a solicitor and might also need to consider sweetening the deal a bit by allowing her a little more equity than she is strictly entitled to.