Would it be better to save towards a new house before a wedding?

[ConfusedAdult2001]

My husband and I recently got married via the courthouse. We already have a 4 month old daughter, and are currently living with his mom in a house she bought last year.

Our mutual primary goals are to save up for an actual wedding and a nice down payment on our own house together.

Wouldn't it make more financial sense to save money towards a down payment on a nice house before we decide to host a nice wedding reception and ceremony on top of going away for our honeymoon?

Personally, if it were just me, I would save up for the down payment on the house first, get our feet in the ground nice and steady before deciding to prepare for a bigger wedding and a honeymoon. The thousands of dollars we'd spend on a wedding and honeymoon could be used to get us closer to a down payment on our own first house.

I know he's excited for the bigger wedding and planning and really wants to go all out, but I'm honestly okay with either something really small or postponing the wedding and honeymoon until we have a house for our family and are at good places in our lives financially to then have a bigger wedding and honeymoon.

After spending all that money on a wedding, we'd be coming back from our honeymoon to his mom's house. If we had our own house, theoretically, we could also use it for air bnb or another type of space rental to help us still make money while we're away.

I just see a home down payment as the better investment than a wedding, personally.

You are already married. I'm not sure why you end another 'wedding'. Saving for your own home should be a priority not splashing it all on party and holiday you don't need.

It's very sensible that you have done the important legal step of marriage, this gives you some stability and protection. Ghe big party is nice, but is less important.

I would guess that the biggest stress in your lives, and thus the biggest threat to your future wellbeing, is the lack of personal space and autonomy because of living with your mum.. it's great that you can rely on her and have that support but the current living situation isn't sustainable and could become overwhelmingly stressful as the months stretch to years. I definitely think that you would be best off putting your money into being able to get a home of your own as soon as you can. The big party will be all the sweeter if you wait till you have that sorted.

Why do you need another wedding? It may be nice to have a big expensive party and honeymoon, but that money could go towards your house.

Own home first- every time for me. You've already done the legal bit, so are married. Time now to focus on your own home together with your child and not a guest in someone else's. 🌹

Save for the house deposit and have a big 5 year anniversary party. You did a good thing keeping your wedding small.

Definitely house first. There’s no way I would spend lots of money on a wedding before buying a house.

Best thing you can do for your marriage is learn to talk about money and solve disagreements about it. Listen to each other, compromise for each other, be respectful about each other's opinions and feelings.

But, yeah, you are right. House first. Party later.

Just have a standard party for your wedding, don’t bother with everything else because it’s expensive for your guests too??

Save for housing.

Houses before (second) weddings, surely?

House, house, house.