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Boyfriend stealing part 2

16 replies

motheru · 16/10/2022 11:38

Hello everyone.
I have recently written about my partner and father of my 3 kids stealing money from me. Couple years ago I found out he was taking money off my card and cash was disappearing around the house, I cornered him and threatened police involvement (as they have access to atm cameras). He admitted, said sorry, I threw him out but eventually given him another chance mainly for the sake of our children (ages 5, 4 and 1) and under condition this never happened ever again for the sake of our family.
We recently came back from holiday abroad and I had some euros left over which I left laying around the house for few days as there was so much to take care of once we got back. Next thing I know the money is gone and he don't know where it is. I told him because of the past I cannot trust it's not him and told him to sleep in a different bedroom. I searched entire house but nothing. So I ended up getting several hidden cameras set around the house and this morning as soon as he woke it recorded him reaching under the bed in the bedroom he sleeps in (there is all my old stuff there I never reach out for) and pulling out and counting what very much looked like the cash, putting it in his trouser pocket and continuing with his day. I am 99.9% sure it's the missing cash, so I wonder how to go about the situation.
I can confront him here and now but it's Sunday and all kids here with us and god knows how he going to react so I would rather do it once I send my two oldest to school tomorrow and take him some public place for 'the talk'
Will tell him to return the money to me (he would probably have it on him as he knows I am constantly searching for them in the house) there and then and to return after his belongings in a near future once I have put them all aside. I am slightly scared how he will react as have a history of violent ex before him, hence want to do it in public space. Fees so bad for our children but I know there is no way I can trust this person and who knows what else he would steal from me. Before seeing the recording this morning I still thought I must have put it somewhere and forgot it (I don't suffer from best memory).
Anyone has any advice on this situation? Any suggestions how to handle all this mess please?
Short background on us: dated for 10 years, lived together in the house I own for 7 and had 3 children in the past 5 years. I have been a sole breadwinner, he never contributed to anything at all (silly me thought if I had a partner who can do it for me I would have appreciated if they took care of me since I make decent amount of money).
Thank you for all the advice

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 16/10/2022 11:41

ask him to leave

PaulGallico · 16/10/2022 11:50

I think if you feel the need to set up hidden cameras around the house the relationship is at an end.

Titterofwit · 16/10/2022 11:53

I wouldnt even bother with the talk . Get rid of him . You have the proof you need and there is no trust left anyway.

motheru · 16/10/2022 12:09

By 'the talk' I mean to tell him that I know, show him the evidence and tell him not to come back home. Tell him go rerun the money if he doesn't want that tape to be given to the police. It's €4.5 K there is no way he gets to keep that money, god knows what else he stolen from me over these years

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 16/10/2022 12:11

Don't even bother with showing him the evidence. What a silly waste of time. Tell him not to come back, you will leave his belongings outside, and change the locks.

motheru · 16/10/2022 12:20

I do need to get that money back off him though. I would have thrown all his things outside but he been here for 7 years and got quite a few things, no way I can put it together in a day...

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 16/10/2022 12:25

Text him and tell him he has one hour to return the money or you're going to the police.

FlippertyGibberts · 16/10/2022 12:49

How can 'some Euros left over' be the same thing as €4.5k though?

Sestriere · 22/10/2022 19:02

Exactly, where did you go on holiday to have 4.5k left over! Why would you even take that much cash away.

ImGood · 22/10/2022 19:08

4.5k in euros you left lying around the house? Why would you do that? Especially when you know your partner is a thief? Were you trying to set him up?

Readinginthesun · 22/10/2022 19:15

I thought I was doing well to bring back €105 from my recent holiday !

motheru · 22/10/2022 19:15

I really don't see how's where we went and how much is left over is really relevant. 4.5 K or 45 really, stealing is stealing. And the latest update is... I got him on camera hiding the money away just before we left for breakfast on Monday, watching life downstairs as he was putting it away under a bedside table in his room. We drove off to busy area, I asked him to grab something quick for the baby in the supermarket while I park the car up properly and as he went I drove off. Got home and found 4K just where he left it, he managed to spend around 500. Sent him the videos when got home and told him to go back to his mums and I will tell him when to collect his things. His response was not even sorry... can I at least have my charger!! The cheek!! Told him to buy it himself since he rolling in cash lately. So there you go, family with 3 kids broken because of 500€ ...

OP posts:
Roseyleaf · 22/10/2022 20:46

It would be worth €500 to be rid of a parasite like that.
I'm sorry, OP, but you can never trust him. A liar as well as a thief.

AdoraBell · 22/10/2022 20:53

You haven’t broken the family because of 500. He has broken the family by stealing from you and lying to you.

Stick to your guns.

auntiemabelisveryable · 28/10/2022 15:49

Who has €4,500 euros left over from holiday?

I wouldn't have taken that much in cash in the first place as I'd be worried it would be stolen out there. I'd use a credit card instead!

motheru · 28/10/2022 19:04

Why is everyone going on about how much money there was left over?! Long story short we haven't seen family since covid and it was a gift from them for all the missed birthdays, we have 4 Children,One was born over covid period. So my family given me that money as a gift. just was easier to say money left over

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