Hi I have been married to my husband for more then 6 years.
I am a "housewife".
I migrated to UK from India.
My husband wants me to stay at home and look after the house etc.
I have fibromyalgia and suffer from chronic fatigue. But still always put my husband's needs before my own.
During corona time's I felt I was on duty 24/7 always cooking and cleaning for him. My very close relative was dying of cancer and I was extremely sad and disturbed. Even then I was always putting my husband and his needs before anything.
Were as he has always been a very selfish and self centred man.
Since I am financially dependent on him I need to ask for permission for everything.
Even when we go grocery shopping he decides what I can buy and what not.
He is very controlling and keeps and eye on everything I do.
In public he pretends to be a very loving husband but when we are alone he doesn't care about me at all.
He always gives others the impression that I am clumsy and dumb hence he need to be in charge of everything.
We have zero sex life because he doesn't won't to get intimate with me.
In the name of "English sense of humour" he always say hateful things to me and when I react he says I don't understand sarcasm.
He keeps telling me to lose weight but I have a medical condition that makes it very challenging. I am trying my best.
With time I have realised that I just can't deal with this toxic marriage anymore, I tried convincing him to amicably get a divorce.
We are religiously married, hence our marriage is not registered in UK. Hence he has no responsibility to share anything with me even if we get divorced.
I feel now I have had enough and I tried giving him ultimatum. Either he divorce me or respect me as his wife and equal partner.
He doesn't wish to divorce me, he just want things to continue as they are continuing.
He is highly educated and director of a very well known IT firm. He earns extremely well but extremely stingy towards me.
He recently bought a luxury apartment in in one of India's most expensive cities for his mother. He had previously already bought properties in his mother's name and she is living a very luxurious life.
Since my husband is a mommy's boy
I don't have any say in our marriage because every decision is made by him and his mother. He acts like a surrogate husband for his 64 years old mother.
I am a third wheel in my own marriage.
I don't wish to live like this anymore, I want him to either divorce me amicably and let me go or if he sincerely want to make our marriage work, then he must treat me as his equal partner and respect me as a human and his wife. I have asked him multiple times to go to couples therapy but he refuse.
I have recently started to ask him for pocket money because I don't have any money to buy even essential things that I need.
He at first refused then he gave me 100 pounds a month. Then on my birthday he gave me 300 pounds. I want him to give me 500 pounds a month because he can easily afford it and when I am already working as a maid day and night I deserve to be paid for it.
Kindly advice? Am I being unfair to ask my multimillionaire husband to give me a pocket money of 500?
Since he doesn't want any children with me I have nothing to look forward to in this marriage. As fare as I know him, he will end up getting married to a younger woman once he is done with me.
Hence mentally I have accepted that he doesn't love me. I do love my husband but
I know it's one sided love.
I am extremely unhappy and miserable in mylife. Kindly advice what I should do.
I will be forever grateful to anyone who could guide me towards a solution.
Thank you🙏❤