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Child maintenance

8 replies

jd88123 · 13/10/2022 21:10

Looking for some unbiased advice. My ex and I split recently and he pays £550 a month maintenance to me for our Daughter. We split with no debt. He is now in a lot of debt and is a gambler. When we were together I dealt with the money and we had our own spending money to ensure bills were paid. He is on a salary of over £60 k a year. Lives with his parents and has no bills to pay there. So all his money is going on his debts and living costs, smoking, probably gambling too. I will be better off by about £400 a month from next Feb as I will have paid off a payment for something then. I have said we can maybe re consider the maintenance amount then and he is not pushing for this he just said we will see. I'm on a good wage and my bills come to about £1200 a month. I have around £1400 a month disposable income.
Should we drop the maintenance? It seems unfair that he is skint every month and I can afford holidays etc but I work full time and sometimes extra shifts to buy nice things. I think I'd feel better about dropping it if he had his own place as he'd need the extra money for that. I'm worried he would get himself in more debt or gamble it. I spent a lot of the money on my Daughter, she has everything she needs and does clubs, goes on weekends away and holidays. What would you do? It's not really my business what he spends his money on but at the same time I am not sure if lowering the maintenance will be a big help as he probably won't move out of his parents house.
Sorry for the long post. Any input appreciated.

OP posts:
Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 13/10/2022 21:13

He is skint because he is an addict not because he is paying for his child. If he didn’t gamble he too could go on holiday.

IggyAce · 13/10/2022 21:20

His debt is not your problem, he needs to pay at least what cms advises. If you can manage then put the money in a savings account for your daughter to use later for driving lessons, university or to travel.

focuspocus · 13/10/2022 21:41

He earns 60k, lives with his parents and is skint?! It sounds like reducing his maintenance gives him more to gamble away. I would keep the maintenance and as pp's have said bank it for your child's future.

ArcticSkewer · 13/10/2022 21:49

Put it in her junior isa if you don't need it.
It might be the only money she gets off him in future

EasterIssland · 13/10/2022 21:51

If you don’t need the money put it on savings. The money is for your child not yourself so she might one day need it

jd88123 · 14/10/2022 00:28

Thanks for all your perspectives so far. I do feel guilty but yes saving for our Daughter is more important.

OP posts:
EmmaLeeB · 30/10/2022 22:03

Child maintenance service does not take into consideration what his debt s are as this is a tactic some parents use to justify not paying for their children. Your salary is not factored in this either. Use the govt online calculator to work out the minimum he should be paying for basic living costs, then there are other factors you could claim like classes, orthodontic bills etc.

PeppermintChoc · 07/01/2023 06:59

Set the money aside for your pension, your daughters future or similar, he won’t be setting up for your daughters future by the sound of things. That will really help when she comes to buy a house or for further education.

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