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Should I let my dad buy me a car?

6 replies

ChristmasYet · 07/10/2022 17:55

I think this is more of a moral dilemma than a money matter, but both really and want some outside perspectives please.

My dad became disabled two years ago and I have been his carer ever since. I am just about to pass my driving test and he has offered to buy me a car. Money wise he is much better off than I am, I can afford the insurance and general runnings of the car but would have to do some serious savings first for the car itself.

From a mental capacity side of things, he does all his own budgeting and money management, but I do help a lot with all the forms, contacting banks, finalising purchases. I have access to all his money for buying him shopping, topping up the electric meter, that sort of thing. I don't know the exact ins and outs of his finances but I do know he lives comfortably and like I say, is in a better position than I am.

I am 100% sure if this was three years ago before I was caring for him that he still would of offered to buy the car, and parents do things like help with house deposits/pay for driving lessons etc all the time.
But something about a vulnerable, elderly man giving a large sum of money to the person who helps him organise that money and make purchases, makes me feel a little.. wrong? Almost like I'm stealing and taking advantage.

Am I just overthinking this? Can I accept or is it wrong?

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 07/10/2022 17:58

He has capacity, he's your dad and wants to buy you a car. Is he the sort of person who would make a strings attached offer and are there any siblings who might feel put out?

MrsMoastyToasty · 07/10/2022 18:00

Has he looked at getting a car through the Motability scheme?

ChristmasYet · 07/10/2022 18:00

Only child so no siblings to have issues with. And definitely no strings attached, he's always been the sort of man to give you the shirt off his back. (Which I think makes it feel worse, even though I haven't asked for this. If he had nothing he'd still offer whatever he could)

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 07/10/2022 18:11

If I was your dad I'd do the same, I want to see my kids enjoy any money I will leave them. Just before DH died he gave his DD a similar gift to help her out (we didn't know at the time how shorter time he had left) and I know that gift gave him great pleasure.

BigglyBee · 07/10/2022 18:18

It will benefit him too, and it might make him feel like less of a burden to you. I would let him, in your circumstances.

ChristmasYet · 07/10/2022 18:19

Thank you so much for the responses.

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