joint finances

[FranMay]

Hello

What do the rest of you do re organising family finances and arguments about it? Here, I'm in charge, and dh takes no interest and often doesn't open any of his statements. I organise everything centrally via our joint accounts and a smallish amount of money goes into our individual accounts each month, like to cover clothes, going out etc. I try to pay off my credit card each month and our joint credit card. However, I have just discovered that dh has a large (for us) credit card bill of his own that he hasn't bothered to tell me about and I am p*ssed off! Here I am making decisions about spending and holidays, based on what I think is the true picture of our finances and actually, he has a largish debt that I didn't know about. Do I have a right to be pissed off or am I being too controlling? I have in the past tried to involve him in budgeting but he's just not that interested in being jointly in control.. help!!! I can't live with the uncertainty of him building up debts and not telling me...
Thanks

Everything is in joint account/names. DH currently sorts out everything financial - banks, credt cards, bills. I am not that interested TB, although thinggs will chane a bit in April and I will have to become more involved again.

But we trust one another and we both know what each other is spending, etc. So it works.

can I suggest you have a shared credit card account? therefore only one card to pay each month and can get paid off before your "spending" money goes into your joint accounts. It does sound as though neither of you are particularly responsible with budgeting if their is debt on any credit cards although your dh seems to be the main culprit!

We are like you FranMay, in it that DH is totally uninterested in finances. We have a joint account so I can keep track of both our expenses.

my dhhas his bank account out of which comes some dds

i have mine out of which come some dd's

we each have our own card and have unlimited access to each others accounts for money when we need it

if he cant accept that you dont have the money tell him to grow the fuck up becuase it doesnt grow on trees - you cant OPT OUT and then circumnavigate the rules and get a credit card - tell him hes a cunt - a wet one at that

ditto to coteDAzur - why are men so uninterested in their finances?! Esp in the case of my dh who is doing ALL the earning at the mo!

Thanks - I think we need to review the way we manage things. At least I have now paid his credit card off via our savings! We have had this difference re credit cards, since 1994! He's always had a balance and I've always paid them off each month. It drives me mad because it's not as though the money in our savings is earning more interest than he's paying on the credit card... I am having a rant really, thanks for that!

my dh is crap with money. always has been. in fact he ran up a nasty debt when divorcing his ex wife which he didnt tell me about for some time....(he eventualy had to come clean when we were taking about property together)
anyway. all our stuff is separate as a consequence. "we" have 2 houses both of which are in my sole name. he pays a certain amount a month to cover the mortgage and bills on that property. car is in my name too. everything really.
aside from that, i applied for a additional credit card on one of my cards so he had a credit card. the statements come to me but he pays the bills as i dont use that particular card. (he needs a credit card as he entertains clients a lot...so uses for expenses which he then claims back from his company)
hes always seems to be overdrawn and i often help him out. half of his money goes to his ex wife which makes things sometimes very tight for him.
i deal with everything financial in our households. sometimes i get sick of it to be honest (like at the moment im dealing with 2 remortgages to get better deals) but i know its for the best that i hold the purse strings!

in the same tone. im crap in the kitchen. so he does all the cooking....and most of washing etc too to be honest.