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Original poster

How much would I have to earn?

41 replies

callip · 05/10/2022 11:49

I am in my mid 20s and am really keen to gain some understanding. My parents refuse to talk about money and I have no clue how much they earn.

I looked up their house and it's worth over £1m but they bought it years ago for a lot less.

My parents run businesses that have a small number of staff. They have always struggled with money but also had two houses, a nanny, and sent us kids to private school. They didn't have much left over.

I would really love to have children one day, live in a similar house to my parents, and have the option to send them to private school (I don't think I will choose this but I would like to be able to afford the choice.

How much would I have to earn to be able to afford this and have enough spending money to eat out and go on holidays? I am just looking for a ball park figure because I'm not sure if its £100k or £300k

OP posts:
Hottubby · 05/10/2022 11:52

Obviously it depends on where you live. I earn over £100k (but less than £150k) and live in a 400k house and could not afford private schools. It also depends on your partners income, I just have mine for the whole family.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 05/10/2022 11:52

Not having money left over after nannies/private school/holidays etc is definitely not an issue, surely by affording that it meant you had everything?

Octomore · 05/10/2022 11:55

They have always struggled with money but also had two houses, a nanny, and sent us kids to private school.

Your parents have not struggled with money. At all.

As you get older and meet a more diverse range of people you will hopefully start to realise exactly how that statement comes across to people who genuinely have known poverty.

Octomore · 05/10/2022 11:58

In all seriousness, if you're talking about aiming to earn £100k plus, I presume you went to uni? Surely you met normal people there, and noticed that 2 houses, nannies, private school etc. is not "struggling".

I find it hard to believe that someone who has been to uni and lived in the world as an adult could be so clueless about how privileged they are.

I would stop worrying about how much you 'need to earn' and just pursue a career that best fits your skills. You will do best at the work that suits you.

Haus1234 · 05/10/2022 11:59

It depends where you are in the country but in London / SE it’s more like the £300k

YumYummy · 05/10/2022 12:00

300k

Original poster
callip · 05/10/2022 12:19

I should have worded things differently. I meant that they struggled to pay for a nanny, private school, and two houses and there was no money for eating out or holidays abroad. There was one point where they couldn't afford to pay the nanny anymore.

OP posts:
MintJulia · 05/10/2022 12:19

It depends. I'm a single mum, live in a 4 bed house in the Home Counties and I have a ds at independent school. We don't eat out much but we go on holidays. I earn about £50k.

However I bought scruffy dumps and did them up myself, then sold them to build up equity. It took me from 24 to 44, twenty years of plastering decorating gardening etc.. I had ds at 45.

He is at independent school now but on an academic scholarship so I pay half fees.

Yet you would see a nice house, private school, nice car. His best friend's fees are paid by grandparents. Things are not always what they seem.

tealandteal · 05/10/2022 12:26

Look up the cost of a house in the area you would like. Use a mortgage calculator to figure out what deposit and salary you would need to afford this. Look up fees for private schools near you and then add on top what you would spend on eating out and holidays. This could be quite a variance as well as to one person this means a takeaway once a month and camping in Cornwall, or meals at Michelin starred restaurants and trips to the Maldives for another. Also consider how many children you would like.

Rowthe · 05/10/2022 12:28

You would need to earn over 150k as a single person.

If married joint income over 200k

Octomore · 05/10/2022 12:37

MintJulia · 05/10/2022 12:19

It depends. I'm a single mum, live in a 4 bed house in the Home Counties and I have a ds at independent school. We don't eat out much but we go on holidays. I earn about £50k.

However I bought scruffy dumps and did them up myself, then sold them to build up equity. It took me from 24 to 44, twenty years of plastering decorating gardening etc.. I had ds at 45.

He is at independent school now but on an academic scholarship so I pay half fees.

Yet you would see a nice house, private school, nice car. His best friend's fees are paid by grandparents. Things are not always what they seem.

Going by the timings, you also had the good fortune to be doing up houses at a time of rampant property price inflation. The astronomical growth in equity that many house owners benefitted from between 1999 and 2021 is very unlikely to be replicated in the same way in future.

MintJulia · 05/10/2022 12:56

Octomore · 05/10/2022 12:37

Going by the timings, you also had the good fortune to be doing up houses at a time of rampant property price inflation. The astronomical growth in equity that many house owners benefitted from between 1999 and 2021 is very unlikely to be replicated in the same way in future.

Show quote history

I'm still doing the last one ! But there will always be houses that have been allowed to fall in to disrepair, that present opportunities for people willing to do the work themselves.
It isn't easy and earning a high salary is certainly a more comfortable way of doing things.

QforCucumber · 05/10/2022 13:04

I meant that they struggled to pay for a nanny, private school, and two houses and there was no money for eating out or holidays abroad

This still isn't struggling, and totally agree with PP post about meeting people who have experienced real poverty.

For context - most of us didn't have holiday abroad, meals our OR 2 houses, a nanny and private schooling

chilliesandspices · 05/10/2022 13:15

I think you need a lot lot more for the same sort of lifestyle these days. Your parents wouldn't be able to guess. The best way is work backwards from what you want. How much do you need to earn for a mortgage of that amount based on the deposit you have? How much are school fees? How much have they risen in the last 10 years if you want to estimate future costs?

Few people move into a million pound house for their first purchase so your deposit might include equity built up from your first property. I'd still do the maths based on minimum deposit required unless you happen to have a large amount of savings already.

SlipperyLizard · 05/10/2022 13:21

You want to live in a £1m house? Let’s say you’d have a 10% deposit, at 3% interest rates the monthly mortgage would be £4267. You’d need a gross salary of almost 90k just to pay the mortgage.

Then look up private school fees near you, and add in the gross salary you’d need to pay those.

Add in living costs and I suspect you’ll be looking at c 300k needed to replicate your parents’ lifestyle.

LovingLifesHurdles · 05/10/2022 13:44

Very much depends where you live, but I think the biggest hurdle will be getting enough money together to but the 1mil house ...

Much easier with 2 people but down south £200k to pay the mortgage (on one house, no idea why you would need 2) and school fees, a nanny, holidays and eating out would be tight.

A rough guess
Mortgage (unless you have a massive deposit) c. £3.5k conservative estimate, current inflation aside
Cheap school fees £1k per month up to double this for more prestigious schools.
FT Nanny + her NI, pension contributions etc £3k
Holidays £1k per month (2x abroad with 2 kids)
"The lifestyle"??? £1k per month? Kids clubs, restaurants, a show, Christmas, birthdays...
Bills for such a big house wouldn't be small.
Cars to match the lifestyle..

That would be nearly 10k per month not including day to day living costs, food, bills, cars.

That would be £200k before tax. Plus all the 'normal' living costs 🫣😱

Swedishmeatball · 05/10/2022 13:49

I agree with the estimates above. For the holiday/private school/nice house lifestyle c300k per annum, depending on location.

and your question is also the reason why I explain to my children how much things cost and explain that the average wage or average income wouldn’t even touch the sides of our outgoings. We’re in the top 1% of income earners but they’re at school with kids whose parents are in the top 0.1% of income earners so you need to actively give them perspective.

Original poster
callip · 05/10/2022 13:57

thank you everyone that was all more than I thought

OP posts:
Octomore · 05/10/2022 14:21

QforCucumber · 05/10/2022 13:04

I meant that they struggled to pay for a nanny, private school, and two houses and there was no money for eating out or holidays abroad

This still isn't struggling, and totally agree with PP post about meeting people who have experienced real poverty.

For context - most of us didn't have holiday abroad, meals our OR 2 houses, a nanny and private schooling

Yes, you sound massively out of touch with the real world. Surely you have mixed with normal people at some point, amd gained an understanding of how they live? If not, I recommend you try to do so.

Also - you've had a very expensive education, it should be beyond you to look up what a 90% mortgage on a £1m house would cost, and what private school fees are. Those are easy to work out using Google and a mortgage calculator online.

Octomore · 05/10/2022 14:22

^ shouldn't be beyond you

TedMullins · 05/10/2022 14:29

Stop worrying about how much you need to earn and get some actual life experience. For context the average wage in the UK is around 30k and under 10% of people go to private school. If you want the kind of job paying 6 figures you’ll need some common sense.

YumYummy · 05/10/2022 15:15

What do you do for a living OP?

Original poster
callip · 05/10/2022 15:44

I run a charity which I started.

I earn £25k a year.

I have friends of all different incomes. I am very aware my parents are very wealthy.

My comment around them struggling with money was misunderstood. I am not saying they are poor, I am saying that they had a lot of expensive outgoings and their income couldn't keep up and they struggled to pay for school fees, nanny, and mortgages.

I am interested to know what sort of income it would take to have these things and not have to struggle.

I haven't received any financial help from them since I was 18 and worked minimum wage jobs through university.

OP posts:
YumYummy · 05/10/2022 15:46

The things in your list aren’t essentials, most people are happy aiming to own their own home and living near a decent state school.

Original poster
callip · 05/10/2022 15:49

I want to feel like I have choices I think I would choose to send my kids to state school but I would like the choice.

OP posts: