Anyone with legal knowledge of the ins and outs of splitting up?

[FAQ]

Would you be able to give me a rough idea of where I stand.

(Once again) DH and I are on the verge of spliiting up - we nearly did last year, but this time I'm 99% sure it for certain.

What am I entitled to???

(Foolishly in retrospect) I believe both the mortgage and the deeds are in DH's name alone. He pays the mortgage and council tax, I pay gas, electric, water, TVL, household insurance, and phone/tv/broadband - plus I do all the grocery and other such shopping - it's been like this for over 2yrs now. (we've lived here for just over 3).

I know for a fact that should I leave (with the DS) - and no I wouldn't want to stay here - we bought it as a "family" home and I wouldn't being able to cope living in a house on my own with the DS's when it was bought for all of us to live in - there's no way he could afford to keep the house. Likewise even if I were to stay and him to leave I could never afford it - so I can see that it's 99% certain have to be sold.

What am I entitled to? What are my rights with regards to the DSs? If I decided I wanted to move 300 miles away - would he be able to stop me?

I never really looked into any of this last year when we nearly split up, as I was pretty sure that he'd agree to us giving it another go - however I can now see that while I have made changes (probably not enough - but I'm only human) he hasn't changed at ALL. However this time I'm sure it's going to happen and I have no idea where I stand legally.

Hello!!

You are married and therefore your DH has Parental Rights and Responsibilities....therefore he has pretty much an equal say wrt the children.

As to financial matters, you will be entitled to what usually is half the assets, the home, car, savings (if any) etc. When deciding on what you are entitled to lots of different things come into the equation.

The best thing you can do just now is to call CAB or get hold of a solicitor. If you can agree tings between yourselves then this saves time and money, but I know that its not always easy!

I think in England the best bet is to seek a solicitor who is a member of Resolution (?) (hopefully someone will come along to clarify)I am in Scotland (as you know) so its slightly different up here.

Hope this helps in the meantime...I have just spent 5 years at law school and realise that I have only given you a very brief outline, but I know there are people far better qualified than me to help you on this!!xx

I know there are excellent lawyers on here....

PS - not stalking you....promise!! I frequently lurk on the legal section to see if I can use my limited knowledge!!!

I'd be entitled to half even though I'm not named on the mortgage or deeds?

I was going to wait until I'd been away to start thinking about solicitors etc, but my mum reckons I should do it now......just incase.....

lol that's ok - you can stalk me .

To be honest, all the family law I know is Scottish so the main statute that deals with this in Scotland is the Family Law (Scotland)Act 1985. In England it is different so I would not want to give you advice that is wrong! I think I do have a copy of the English equivalent somewhere and I can look this out for you and have a read.

What I can say is that things are not 'cut and dried' when it comes to dividing up assets...the courts take lots of things into consideration, one being how you will be left financially after divorce....

I will also keep bumping this thread for you till a real lawyer comes along!!

thanks Karen.

Now this chat and glass of wine........somewhere totally irreverent or somewhere posh

Well since you are visiting, you can choose!! One thing Edinburgh is not short of is good pubs!! Lots of places do the "buy 2 glasses of wine" and get the rest free thing...so you can buy 2 and I can buy 2 and we can get sozzed!!

oh god - it's been 7 1/2yrs since I was last there - and I was heavily pg with DS1 one then......and before that it was 1997 - I have NO idea where is decent these days.

Apart from the Jolly Judge - and all those seedy ones down in the Grassmarket (which were a hit for us underage drinking boarders as they never ID'd us LOL) the only other pub I can think of is that posh one near the Caledonian Hotel? Corner of Shackleton Street (I think........though I'm talking over 10yrs ago so I could be miles off and talking through my ar*e).

Oh just remembered another one where we ended up after a fantastic night out for my last night in Edinburgh (by this point having finished school and was 18)................but not really sure it's what we'd be looking for - it was a Gay Club down Leith Walk

I know where you mean! Actually Leith has undergone a major transformation over the past ten years....loads of lovely places. Dont worry, we will find somewhere nice!

When are you planning on coming up? I only ask because I can look into things for you before then....divorce, financial provision, children etc....

Which one do you know where I mean - the posh one or the Gay Club .

Actually just before we left I snogged a bloke that we'd gone out with right in the middle of the dance floor LOL. Made the two (female) friends I was with very jealous - as I'd got NO feelings at all for him, wasn't vaguely interested in him - but they both fancied the pants off him and had done for years .

Not sure when I'm coming - possibly week beginning the 4th February, and coming back on the 11th?? - part of me thinks I should wait until half term - but that's nearly a month away and I feel I need to have space to "think" sooner rather than later. Can't go next week - just not practical, and the week after it tricky too.

just to add....if you wanted to move 300 miles away i dont think he would be able to stop you if you have sole custody. (but you are a way from deciding custody i think....)
even if you had sole custody i think you would need his permission to live abroad.