How do you split your bills with your partner?

[Newmum8990]

My partner and I have just had our first baby! I’m currently on maternity leave and luckily we are fortunate enough that I can have around 13/14 months off with her.

I am returning to work doing 30 hours per week and I’ll be taking home £1777, to be precise. My partner takes home £2400

My expenses are higher (£165) compared to my partner (£60).

Our bills combined (taking into consideration increasing energy prices) is £1850 but we want to put in £1900 so we have a float for emergencies.

How does everyone split their bills with their partner, e.g. do you do a 50/50 split regardless of income? Or 60/40?

We were thinking of £850 for me and £1050 for my partner OR £900 for me and £1000 for my partner.

Intrigued to know how everyone works it.

Our money goes into separate accounts to start with (for various reasons we just prefer it this way) but we share most of it minus a small amount for trivial spending. DH pays more into the joint account and I pay more into savings just to avoid moving money around a lot. I’m the higher earner - we both pay the max we can afford into the joint pot, none of this 50-50 stuff.

We both keep 1k and put everything else into a joint account, from which in theory we pay for all child related costs (classes, nanny, clothes etc), food, bills etc.

All money into the same pot for bills, expenses and savings taken separately, we then take out the same amount of personal spends which covers out mobile bills and anything else we so desire. DH regardless of who earns more we have the same. Our invoices are very similar these days but for a while I outearned DH significantly while he retrained, before marriage and DS we paid 50/50 for everything and I saved a lot.

We are an economic unit. Everything either of us earns belongs to both of us. We put everything into one pot and spend as needed. We discuss large purchases in advance. The definition of large purchase has varied over the years with our financial situation.

All income is shared in our house.

I would try to get your head around the concept of a joint pot with equal spending money out of what is left once you have children as income disparity can occur depending on who looks after the children/works part time etc. if you keep your own income and input separately into a joint account according to how much you earn then how are you going to account for the fact that your income is less because you are looking after a joint child. How are you going to split childcare costs when that becomes an issue. It's better to start early with the idea that income and costs are 'ours' and not 'yours' or 'mine'. You see so many posts on here where couples have continued with separate finances and the mother is left paying the majority of the kids expenses out of her own reduced earnings because her partner considers all his earnings to be 'his'.

This.
DH earns five times what i do so puts five times the amount into the pot for all joint family bills.
The remainder of our salaries is then for each of us to spend or save as we wish.

If you are sacrificing your earning potential to provide childcare then this is absolutely something your partner should be supporting you on and compensating your for. I agree with PPs - all the money goes in one pot. If you have different attitudes to money then you could always have individual accounts with an 'allowance' for each of you to spend how you choose, but this is in addition to a central account that all pay goes into.

As soon as we bought our house we got a joint bank account and both wages went in. This would be for mortgage, bills, insurances, phones, utilities etc.

Then we got a second account which we set up a monthly payment to go in from the main account for 'spending' - so food shop, going out, clothes shopping etc.

Never had separate accounts or split bills, everything in one pot.

Our bills mortgage and money for food goes into a separate bank account and we pay in 50/50

pay our own phone bills and misc spends from our remaining pay

We put all our money into one account, then each take £300 a month into our own accounts for personal spends (me hair, nails, lunches out with friends, him computer games, gym), then put an amount into joint savings. All spending apart from personal is from joint. He earns more than 50% more than me, and I have children from a previous relationship as well as our child. He doesnt think its fair to be married and not share everything, or for him to have more than me because he earns more.

We do a ratio of earnings so its a 65/35 split with me paying the bigger ratio as I have the larger income.
This leaves us with the same percentage of our individual incomes each for what we want. I'm a big rainy day saver whereas DH prefers to buy crap smaller savings and more odd jobs. But DH also has recieved inheritance money so doesn't stress so much about savings.

It works for us and means I don't get annoyed at random things which turn up whereas I would if it all our earning went into one pot!

We pool all of our money and have a standing order set up so we both have the same amount of fun money put into our personal account each month.

haven’t read the whole thread but if you return part-time will you be having those extra hours off or will you be working for the family re providing childcare? If your providing childcare and you do want to split the bills 50/50 seems fair

We don't have his and her money.

We pool our resources and it's our money.

Both salaries into a joint account. All bills and saving come out of that.

What's left is ours to spend.

I earned more working full time but now on mat leave so my mat leave only just covers my half of the bills. We do 50/50 split but both earned similar (if anything I earned slightly more working FT). We transferred money into my 2nd account as bills were all in my name and my DP is hopeless at anything money/admin related! Anything that was leftover was our own spends.

Bit more complicated now I’m on mat leave. He covers slightly more of the bills and I have no money left over from mat leave so he gives me spends for anything I need and treats through the month (think clothes/nails, yes I know this is a privilege not a need but it’s still nice!)

We don’t have a joint account as I have good credit whereas he ruined his as a young pup and is gradually paying back debt.

When I go back to work we will probably still split bills 50/50 and what’s left is ours. We spend differently as he likes more expensive clothes etc whereas I’m happy in cheaper high street clothes.

He’s paid weekly whereas I’m monthly so my wage covers bills/direct debits and his wage tends to top up my spends weekly.

Maybe not what most would choose but works for us and we’re happy with it. He has no problem giving me a little extra when needed if I ask and he pays for most of the baby bits.

All one pot here.
We put in equal effort so finances are shared.
When our kids were young I didn't work, but had free access to our account- my OH earning only.
When kids grew and i was able to contribute financially we shared that too.
Our kids are adults now and althoughI never got back into the workplace I have a small business and earn twice what my OH does- again that is shared.

Honestly what we do is…
dh pays for the food, Afterschool and kids activities
I pay electricity, phone,tv broadband and life insurance.

We pay our own fuel and car insurances (annually)
We both put a % into a joint savings account.

it works for us. He earns double what I earn but neither of us see our money as separate (even though it is mostly)

Thank you to everyone who has kindly responded with how they work their finances out!

Personally, I like having my own money from my
own earnings but I definitely think that as I am going back to work part time to be able to look after our little one that my partner will put in more than I do so we both have the same disposable income after.

thank you all again x

All in one joint bank account and everything comes out of it. I don't understand having separate money when you have children, but that's just me. My partner and I have earned different amounts at different times, and now I earn more than him, but it still feels fairer to just split everything.

All income goes in and out of the same pot. Been like this since day 1.

Same here- it feela fairer.
I didn't work at all for several years when the kids were small, then during the school years worked part time.
With no family help and one child who had a chronic health problem it was not possible for OH and I to both work full time, especially as OHs job meant a lot of travel and being away for days at a time.
OH earned more than I did, so it made sense for him to keep the full time job.
BUT he was only able to do this job because I looked after our children.
So when I worked part time I was also carrying the lions share of child care and housework.
OH and I put in equal effort, so was only fair that we shared family income equally.
Plus it is far simpler.

When I had dc all the money went into the same pot, then we split the remainder 50/50 and we each took the same amount out after ALL bills went out, and put it in a separate bank account

All money goes in to a joint account less £50 which we can each spend on whatever we want, no judgment from the other. We discuss all other spending and how it will impact each of us ie if I wanted us to have a pet but DH felt we couldn’t afford it currently we’d talk about how/when/if we would do it in the future. I wouldn’t get it as “my” pet as it impacts us both re holidays and costs.

DH manages our pensions and ISAs and we have DDs set up for all regular payments but go through these reguarly as we like to know the budget we’re living in too.

I think a % split on income works well and each having a pot of your own money to do what you want with means less friction. Ie he cant see what i spend on my hair or shoes.

Make sure the 'float' is sufficient to cover nappies, clothes, activities for baby and her Christmas and birthday presents. You shouldn't get in the habit of paying these yourself because just because you might organise them. Id query you paying for your own petrol for what is now a family car also.

Also, childcare fees when you return to work are a joint expense and the joint account needs to be able to fund these at that point in time.

Its great to be thinking ahead about this and you both seem on the same page. Id also sew the seed about distribution of childcare, housework, admin and free time when you are doing 4 days as the men folk do often get very comfortable with the mat leave set up. Your day off should be about DD not frantically cleaning for example. So if you think there is any risk on equal distribution of work then make sure the float could accommodate a weekly cleaner and set that bar now.

I think a % split on income works well and each having a pot of your own money to do what you want with means less friction. Ie he cant see what i spend on my hair or shoes.

Depends if these things "cause friction".
My OH encourages me to buy nice things for myself or spend money on a haircut.
If he sees I have bought a new coat or shoes he will usually say something along the lines of "You deserve it- you work hard"
I have no need to hide what I spend - and neither does he.