Domestic Violence Dumpster Fire Damage Control

[iníontíre]

XP committed serious assault against me on 9th of July this year. Made attempt to take my life by strangulation but I'm still alive and kicking.

We are 50/50 owners of the home and have a joint mortgage. No kids. I have applied for 12 Month Non Molestation Order and Occupation Order. Had court yesterday, judge has given me 7 days to instruct solicitors as to my long term intentions with the house. Asked do I want to:

1. Buy XP out
2. Allow XP to buy me out
3. Force the sale of the house

I have no intention of living there long term. I have no family or close friends in the area as I had only moved there in 2020 to live with XP. I'm not from the UK and this house is the first property that I've bought.

My instinct is telling me to force the sale of the house and ask the court that I continue to live in it whilst its on the market. Has anyone else been through a similar experience? Can anyone advise what might produce the best financial outcome for me?

I'm flippin skint paying out for locksmiths, removals, solicitors so any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. HELP ME MUMSNETTERS!!

If you let your XP buy you out, how soon would you get the money? Could you then move away to a different area/country and then your ex wouldn’t necessarily know where you were living or at least he couldn’t just turn up on a whim?
These are questions for your solicitor really.

Definitely worth re-posting this in the Legal section of Mumsnet, OP.

Thanks guys

Allowing him to buy you out is likely to be the fastest option, if he wants to and can raise the funds to do so. Can he? You’d likely get a better price on the open market but once you factor in the hassle of people coming to view, the stress of chains (potentially) and the cost of estate agents fees, it might still be a good trade off.

Under the circumstances, I would insist on a forced sale. The last thing you want is to engage in a complicated financial transaction with a man who tried to kill you. You can guarantee he will be an arse about it too. Find out the details from your lawyer, how much involvement and say he will get in it, see if there are ways to legally limit this to the bare minimum.
You continue to live in it while it sells. And he needs continue to pay his share of the mortgage if there is one, as its not your fault he attacked you and is now not legally allowed anywhere near you.

Allowing him to buy you out, gives him the opportunity to mess you about.

a friends ex took ages to transfer the money to her and she had to go back to court to get him to do so.

even with an order in place her really messed her about.

I’d put it on the market and force a sale and request to stay till the house is sold.

this gives you time to plan your relocation and pack things up in peace.