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Original poster

Adult child rent

26 replies

HelloMaryJane · 03/07/2022 18:05

DD is 23 and earns around £900 pcm after tax plus bits on freelance editing.
She commutes on public transport which probably costs her around £25 a week.
At the moment she gives me £100 a month which we agreed when she got the job but I'm now finding finances really tight due to the rising cost of living.
I work and get UC to top up as I'm on a low wage.

OP posts:
courtrai · 03/07/2022 18:07

I've a 19 y/o who clears about £1,200 pcm. We've just doubled her board to £200. This is about a third of the cost of a house share where we live so she's still getting a pretty good deal

CornishTiger · 03/07/2022 18:10

More info needed. Who else lives in house. How much is your bills? What about food?

CornishTiger · 03/07/2022 18:11

Are you rented or mortgage?

LilacPoppy · 03/07/2022 18:13

Add up every bill and housing not covered by UC , divide by two and add the cost of her food. That’s what she should pay.

OneFrenchEgg · 03/07/2022 18:18

We have agreed £300 all in including food. That's paracetamol, toothpaste, washing stuff etc.

Original poster
HelloMaryJane · 03/07/2022 18:22

HA rented.
Two younger siblings live us 17 and 15yrs old.
Total outgoings including rent but excluding groceries is £1270
Total income is £1975
Groceries last month was £654

OP posts:
Original poster
HelloMaryJane · 03/07/2022 18:23

DD does buy the odd takeaway and gets her own toiletries, clothes, etc.

OP posts:
MagpiePi · 03/07/2022 18:34

LilacPoppy · 03/07/2022 18:13

Add up every bill and housing not covered by UC , divide by two and add the cost of her food. That’s what she should pay.

This is what I did with my son.
He took care of his own washing and shared the housework.

CornishTiger · 03/07/2022 18:34

Well UC Put a non-dependent deduction of nearly £78 a month and what they pay for rent for your Daughter circumstances.

You also aren’t having 25% council tax reduction. assuming you are single.

So that is your starting point and then adding a contribution for water gas electric and food. If money is tight look look at expenses such a TV licence broadband etc.

There needs to be a balance between living at home costing less than the open market and her being able to save for her own property.

You aren’t doing any favours by allowing an adult child to live at such a low cost and not having a real expectation of real-world expenses. This is one of the reasons new tenancy is often fail as young people don’t have the financial expectations and obligations drilled into them.

Good luck.

Babyroobs · 03/07/2022 19:36

I ahve two working ds's who earn a quite a bit more than your dd but I don't charge them anything which I'll probably get flamed for but we don't need the money, have no mortgage etc. DS is hardly here ( maybe half the time), and rarely eats at home as he gets discount on food at work or eats at his gf's. Ds2 does eat an awful lot so I may start charging him an he has offered. if the price of food keeps going up I will need to charge him as he tends to eat quite a lot of tinned fish, beans etc. I think it's fine to ask a bit more from your dd if you need to with everything going up.

LilacPoppy · 03/07/2022 20:55

Didn’t realise there were 2 younger siblings. I would have her pay half housing not covered by UC and 1/4 of bills plus the cost of her food then. So the bills are split per person with you being responsible for 3.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 03/07/2022 20:59

She shouldn't pay half of all the bills if the other adult also has two children at home.

20% of take home pay always felt reasonable to me to cover rent/utilities and a serving of each family meal. She can fund her own additional foods/toiletries etc. She should be covering her own mobile and if she wants additional subs or anything.

IfIhearmumagaintoday · 03/07/2022 21:02

Could you charge your DD £200?

Her wage seems a bit low is she full time?

What about your 17 year old are they a student?

hattie43 · 03/07/2022 21:07

She doesn't earn very much at all is she full time .

I'll get flamed but I don't think she should contribute more than a token amount for bills ,

£100 month for bills .

Skyeheather · 03/07/2022 21:07

You are spending too much on groceries. We are a family of four and we spend £100.00 per week which I believe is average. You could save yourself £200.00 a month there.

Original poster
HelloMaryJane · 03/07/2022 21:34

DD works part time. 3 days. She wanted to top up with overtime which was plentiful at Christmas but has since dried up and no opportunity to increase hours hence the freelance bits. She's applying for full time jobs.
I'm constantly watching my grocery budget thanks but finding it hard to cut down.

OP posts:
GreenGoblin0 · 03/07/2022 21:55

Hi OP. I don't think your grocery bill is that high. That's probably what we spend as a family of 4 and our children are younger (10 and 5). Feeding teenagers is like feeding adults.

I think you should definitely be getting your daughter to contribute more - esp as she is 23. She currently has a disposable income of £700 a month (after paying you and for her transport) which is a lot. I think at a similar age and 15 years ago I was paying £250 per month to live at home.

Peppa0706 · 14/10/2022 11:13

My son is 19 and earns approx £24000 pa. He doesn’t save but has just started paying his own car insurance and mobile phone, and buys his own takeaways. His girlfriend is also 19 and lives with us. She earns £13500 pa (plus claims £265 a month in UC as she is a low earner on an apprenticeship and not living with her parents)
We have just asked them to contribute £300 a month between them, they share a room so this seems a lot to me. They spend approx £20 each on food per week but don’t buy things like teabags, milk, toothpaste, toilet rolls, washing powder etc.
Does this sound reasonable?

Tessasanderson · 14/10/2022 11:39

Our 19yr old lad brings home a full time wage. We were going to charge him £300 and try to save a big chunk for him but when he showed us his savings we put it at £150 on the proviso he keeps saving. He has always worked since he was 14 and truth be told he has a lot between his car and savings so he is doing something right.

We just see the £150 per month as a contribution towards the extra cost of living rises.

prettylittlethingss · 14/10/2022 11:43

Is she saving to move out? To buy? Is she going to be living with you long term?
If she's saving then id up to £150. If not then maybe £200.

Riverlee · 14/10/2022 11:44

My first thought was that the pay seemed low, although you’ve now explained that. Christmas jobs are beginning to come up - can she apply for those? Or an evening job - pub? Restaurant? Etc.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/10/2022 15:47

GreenGoblin0 · 03/07/2022 21:55

Hi OP. I don't think your grocery bill is that high. That's probably what we spend as a family of 4 and our children are younger (10 and 5). Feeding teenagers is like feeding adults.

I think you should definitely be getting your daughter to contribute more - esp as she is 23. She currently has a disposable income of £700 a month (after paying you and for her transport) which is a lot. I think at a similar age and 15 years ago I was paying £250 per month to live at home.

I disagree about the grocery bill, it's quite a bit higher than it needs to be if you need to save money.

But I do agree about her disposable income. Currently she has hundreds of pounds a month to do with as she wishes. She should be saving a good chunk for the future and making a more meaningful contribution to her living costs. £2-300 per month for board and the same saved not spent would be a more realistic use of her money. It would still leave her a generous amount to spend on clothes, socialising, tech etc.

Gingerkittykat · 14/10/2022 15:55

Peppa0706 · 14/10/2022 11:13

My son is 19 and earns approx £24000 pa. He doesn’t save but has just started paying his own car insurance and mobile phone, and buys his own takeaways. His girlfriend is also 19 and lives with us. She earns £13500 pa (plus claims £265 a month in UC as she is a low earner on an apprenticeship and not living with her parents)
We have just asked them to contribute £300 a month between them, they share a room so this seems a lot to me. They spend approx £20 each on food per week but don’t buy things like teabags, milk, toothpaste, toilet rolls, washing powder etc.
Does this sound reasonable?

An adult on £13K a year living with a partner with no housing costs would not be eligible for universal credit.

Are you seriously asking if £300 a month for a couple with a joint income of £37K is reasonable?

Dinoswearunderpants · 14/10/2022 15:59

I find it so sad having to ask children to pay to live at home still. I appreciate life's not easy right now but it's so hard for them already.

I'd be expecting to pay towards food but that's it. You could ask for a contribution towards the utilities but with others living at the house, it would be hard to see who's using the most.

Peppa0706 · 14/10/2022 16:29

I don’t think she’s due any either but who am I to argue with her!
Neither of them save and have no intention of moving out any time soon.
I think I need to re think this through!