Don’t know how I’m going to manage

[justpoppy]

My partner see I are separating and I’m driving myself mad trying to find a solution to this but I just can’t.

I have one son who is 16.

I work part time and get paid around £1200. i really can’t work more hours due to health issues.

i’ve put all my details into 4 benefits calculators and they all give me extremely different amounts so that’s not particularly helpful.

I don’t have a car or any credit card debt thankfully. I’m very fortunate to own my house and it’s mortgage free. I could sell and downsize but I’ve always seen the equity in my house as my retirement fund as my pension pot won’t pay out much.

I’ve cut out all luxuries, streaming services, takeaways, days out everything and nothing gives me anything left over at the end of the month. I do have a dog and his insurance, food aren’t cheap so I’m even considering rehoming him!

I’m literally thinking about it constantly trying to work out how to make it work. (One if the reasons i’m still awake!)

I just don’t know what the answer is. Any ideas?

Saving £200 a month is a luxury really in your situation - surely this is the "emergency" that requires using these funds? Especially if you can't/won't work full time

You have a £200 per month savings buffer.. that's not bad!

£100+ a month on phones is ridiculous, go sim only as soon as possible.

You mention fuel but then list train and bus fare, do you drive?

Agree with others - there is lots of slack in your budget.

Ditch the expensive phones when out of contract (or see if you can negotiate something cheaper now).
Food is high for 2 of you.
You're spending substantially more on gas/elec for 2 than we do for 4. Look at how you can cut this down.
I agree that DS could/should get a job. And also he will need to give up school dinners and take a packed lunch if money is tight.

I’m in a similar situation and no way can I save £200 a month. I save £50 a month with Help to Save (govt scheme for low incomes) you get 50p back per £1 saved over 4 years.

Increase sons allowance to £75 but on the condition that he a)buys his own clothes, and b)gets a summer job. Reduce uniform spending to £25 a month. That way you save £50 overall and son gets more responsibility.

Have you looked at octopus energy? We are a family of 3 and current monthly dd is 150 on gas and electric

You can definitely save a lot on your phones and broad band. Shop around and look at topcashback. Bt often give £100 for new contracts so you could definitely get something like that.
Like others said your son could get a Saturday job and save you the pocket money.

Could you pick up some extra online work, I’ve just gone back to work recently but was making a bit of extra money on Prolific the survey website.

If your partner is a high earner then I can definitely understand the panic! It’s hard to have such a significant drop. But I think you will be OK, it will just take a bit of admin and logistics plus some time to work it all out. You’ve shared £800 worth of bills, so your £1200 is enough. Just find a system to track your spending and you’ll slowly get used to the lifestyle change I think. Good luck OP.

I think you have two years to get through before costs start to ease a little when your son is 18 and either gets a job, goes to uni and lives of their loans or goes on benefits (hopefully not!). Does thinking like that ease the terror a little? When will you stop paying £40 a month overpayment on tax credits? Is there any way to reduce that repayment and extend the period? As others have said you really need to reduce food expenditure and phone payments. We have two kids and spend £240 a year on their school lunches so average of £20 a month. Obviously they don't have a school lunch every day but to do so is a luxury. We also spend £500 a month on food or 2 adults and 2 kids. We feel like we eat really well and we buy things now we just couldn't in the past. I think you can get your expenditure down to £250 with some careful planning and this won't mean a pauper's lifestyle. So perhaps you can budget £275 all in for all food inc school dinners. That saves you £125 a month. You can easily halve your phone expenditure and save another £50 - we spend £38 for 4 phones. £175 extra will really ease things for you I think.

The two that stick out at me are the phones and £50 on clothes/uniform. I was pissed off when my phone went up to 7.95 a month!

But not being able to offer any helpful advice just wanted to say it is bloody tough for the majority right now. I know how you feel, trying to make things stretch.

My own situation is being on disability benefits (no children though). Gas and electric prices are crazy at the moment. Feels like I am constantly topping up!

On the benefits side of things. You will have to switch to Universal credit once you split as you won't be able to continue on tax credits.
You will get around £280 Universal credit ( assuming your ds isn't disabled), until he leaves education, then likely nothing.
You are in a very good position of being mortgage free.

I told my kids that pocket money stopped at 16 so they both got jobs. In reality I save what I used to give them in pocket money for when they go to uni. But they earn about £65 a week for two shifts waiting on tables - they love it, are loaded and have good CVs.

Meal plan, increase meat free meals and use all leftovers - you could cut your food bill by at least £100

At 17 he could get a supermarket job then you'd get discount off your food shop too.

Agree with others re phones.

Can you not work full time?

Most people wouldn't manage on one part time wage.

If I had so many areas where I could reduce outgoings there would be no way I would be even thinking about rehomi g my dog!

phone bills way too expensive, too much pocket money, too much on grocery shopping & £50 per month for clothes is high! There are lots of areas to cut down.

I am I. Your exact same position - same wage, house own outright - I manage perfectly fine & I run a cat & my DD goes to 3 paid clubs per week.

my bills are
tv lic - don’t pay
c.tax £108
g& elect £100
netflix & prime £17
water £48
food £300
pho e £12
pwt insurance/food (cat & dog, but good quality food in bulk) £59

i save £200 pm most
months unless I need face cream/birthday pressies etc etc

every few months I buy a clothes bundle off eBay.

Thanks so much for all your tips. I’ve only just got round to checking this thread and have written everything down. The phones I know are expensive and that can change fairly soon. Son isn’t into designer clothes or trainers - absolutely no interest at all and I don’t need anything, but I’m just trying to include everything and guesstimate I spose. He doesn’t go out much but this is starting to change and I’ve told him I absolutely cannot and will not bankroll him through the summer. He gets a job or he doesn’t go out!

Gas and electric bills again are a total guess. I don’t know yet where we’ll be living so no idea what costs will be. Rehoming the dog was a last resort thought in desperation. Very unlikely to happen!

The savings aren’t rainy day savings - totally for emergencies - appliances breaking down, boiler repairs that kind of thing. I will call tax credits to see if they’ll reduce the payment too.

i know things will work out and I am so fortunate to be in a far better position than a lot of people but I never expected this to happen. We were settled, financially secure and had plans for the future. That’s all suddenly gone and it’s really overwhelming.

One thing I am adamant about is that I am not leaving here (ex partners house) until I have somewhere that is the right place for me and DS. We’re amicable and he’s not abusive or anything - selfish yes but not a bad person. We could be here for months but he’ll just have to suck it up! The house we’re in is set out in a way that we can lead separate lives and he socialises far more than I do so is out a lot anyway and although we both work from home we have totally separate work spaces so can go the whole day sometimes without seeing each other.

The OP states that she works part time due to health issues, not sure how you missed it if you managed to pick up on the part time as it is the rest of the sentence.

£1200 with no mortgage or car is £300pw which for 2 ppl is ample.
A 16 yr old could easily be working and paying for his mobile, haircuts and pocket £.
If you're saving £200pm you're not struggling.

Just noticed this One thing I am adamant about is that I am not leaving here (ex partners house) until I have somewhere that is the right place for me and DS.
I thought you owned a mortgage free house? Is that rented out??

my now ex DP chose and decorated a house we bought 2 years ago. Mortgage is in name - he sorts out all the bills and I buy the groceries and all stuff for the house. My house has been valued at at decent amount of money so the plan was to amalgamate funds in a few years, pay off the mortgage and possible buy somewhere overseas.

I’ve been letting it to really good friends and it was supposed to be long term and them buying when they could afford it. I’ve had to give them 2 months notice but if that date comes and they haven’t found anything suitable i’m not going to make them go. I was planning do downsize to reduce cost but I’v only just realised about paying capital gains tax on the amount the house has increased in value so that’s that’s just thrown me another thing to deal with 🤦🏼‍♀️

The figures I put in were worst case scenarios and the £200 savings was for emergency repairs, maintenance to the house etc and Christmas/birthdays

who needs £50 per month of clothes? Excessive.
you have a lot of easy savings to be made.

first of all cms on your child’s father as soon as you can or when you move out. The fact he’s never paid isn’t a reason for him not to pay now. Concentrate on your now financials rather than post 18 financials. Assume you are getting child benefit and you will get single person council tax. Agree with other posters re holiday jobs, phones, food, uniform etc. don’t think you pay capital gains if it’s your primary residence so best move back in there as soon as poss then you have option to downsize if neseccary. Keep saving as moving is expensive.

Should have said claim uc as soon as you legitimately can. Might also be worth getting some legal advice vis a vis current separation