Help on how I can possibly manage on my own

[charlousser]

DH and I have been going through a really rough time for a long while. Things got so messy now that neither of us sees a way this could possibly work. We are still very close and the split will be amicable however...I am worried about how I'm going to manage financially when on my own. I thought I'd turn to my fellow Mumsnetters for some advice. I'm sure there are people out there that have done it or are currently doing it alone. I work part-time and take home about £1330 in wages at the end of the month + child benefit which is £145 per month. I only work part time as I like to have 1 day in the week which I spent with my children when they're not at daycare. I may need to sacrifice this and change my contract to full-time which would get me roughly an extra £200 a month which would have to go towards childcare. We have 2 DC (4 and 1) which we already agreed we would share care for, so 3.5 days a week each. This would mean I would get no child maintenance. I would have to find my own place, ideally a house with a garden for the children and the cost of private renting at the moment is extremely high, there is no way I could afford that on my own with other bills on top plus food, clothes, etc. I have a car on finance which I pay £330 for and that's the one thing I would like to keep for myself if I could. I doubt I would get any help from UC due to the fact that I work and get more than minimum wage. I will also need to pay more towards childcare while I'm at work. I am so lost on what to do and where to turn to. There is no way I can afford all of this on my own and still be able to give my children nice things and days out to make memories. I really don't want to struggle to make ends meet. If you have been through this and had to do it on your own, how did you manage? Did you get any help at all?

I suppose you will get universal credit like a lot of single parents. do as long as you say the kids live with you most of the time.

How much you get will depend on the rent of the place you are renting. If you have a maritial home to sell and get more than 16k equity from the sale of that then the amount of Uc you get will be zero.

You cannot compare one person's UC to another unless you have the exact same circumstances, same rent, same local housing allowance, same wage etc.

Just to voice a slight note of caution, I'm entitled to £1000 roughly including money to help with rent, but because I earned £1600 after tax last month (I did a LOT of overtime!) UC was reduced to about £300. There is a benefit cap.

We don't have a home to sell.

@SkirridHill benefit cap? Do you know what it is? Do I fall under it?

Basically if you earn too much, they'll take it off your UC. I'm probably using incorrect terminology (I'm new to the UC game!) but because I earned £1600 last month, despite being eligible for £1000 in benefits, I only got £300 because I hit the cap (which I think was something like £1900?).

doubt I would get any help from UC due to the fact that I work and get more than minimum wage.

last time I checked a single parent could be earning approximately £35k and be eligible for UC of some nature - childcare of 70% and something towards rent, usually the local amount in full - not full rent but the authorities set amount

We don't have a home to sell

can you stay in the home? Is it rented and how much is the rent in comparison to the set local authority try it’s amount?

Check here for the amount in your postcode

it varies around the country

my area it’s £690
so they’ll pay up to that for a two bed but if the rent is more you need to pay the rest - mist rents for two bed private in my area is £980 so a couple of hundred to make up each month

You wont be hit by the benefit cap as you earn way too much. SkirridHill is using the wrong terminology. She is referring to deductions for earnings from your total Uc entitlement.

I was so sure they’d got my tax credit amount wrong, I didn’t spend any of it for a year in case they asked for it back. My circumstances were odd because I didn’t have mortgage payments and had some savings and a reasonable amount of maintenance to keep us afloat.
I learned in that year how to swallow my pride and properly scrimp. Bought lots of yellow sticker food and learned how to meal plan round it. Didn’t buy any clothes for myself. But accepted hand me downs from friends. Sold loads of stuff I didn’t need or want on eBay including things I found in charity shops or on Fb (which I’m aware some people frown upon).
When they kept giving me the same amount I eventually accepted it was ok but it took a couple of years and I still save a lot comparatively speaking. But I know it means I’ll be able to help my dc when they need help with driving lessons or uni costs or whatever.

The car has to go and you have to work full time I'm afraid. I would do that regardless, if I didn't own property.

Our car was £170 a month for a bmw but we both worked full time in highly paid jobs and had no kids - and even then I would question whether we could justify that, and we paid off the full amount so we didn't have to pay interest.

As previous posters have said, the amount includes rent. The calculators usually show very clearly how the end figure is calculated.

Check if it's worth going full time before your children are both at school. Difference may be minimal and if you are only with children half the week that day might be precious, they are tiny still.

You might be able to find work where you can increase your hours when they are with their dad and reduce hours when they are with you.

An extra £200 a month would likely mean £72 because UC would be reduced. Then while you can claim childcare costs, that is up to 85% so you would pay 15% of whatever that is.

Car cost is high!

To the poster who talked about overtime, your universal credit is reduced by 55p in the pound after earning over a certain amount (I think it's 55p). This was improved quite recently and I appreciate the difference in my regular full the hours - but overtime wise - when you take full % tax off (personal allowance is already used) and then a further 55%, can end up a very low pay rate.

Ditch the car!! Its 25% of your take home pay. Aim for £130 to 200 max.

You only earn £1300 per month, dong own a house yet you pay £330 per month for a car?
I would think that should be the first thing to go, buy a cheap run around instead if you really need a car and spend the money on things for your kids instead.

Everyone saying ditch the car, that's pretty hard if you need it for work or the logistics of getting kids to nursery/ school ( possibly two different ones) and then getting to work on time. It would have to be replaced by another car. It doesn't sound like she has the means to buy an older car outright and even old/ used car prices have risen hugely. So the only option is perhaps leasing smaller car , but they can still be pricey. I guess it depends if the current car is leased, what the option are for returning it etc.

I get that a car can be essential, however paying that much per month when you’re on a low salary and no house is ridiculous. I lease my car and it is less than £200 per month for a decent car, not a flashy one but perfectly fine.

Thank you @Babyroobs for the clarity.

You will get UC u need to put a claim in ASAP as it takes 5 weeks for 1st payment and my partner earn 1200 per month and we still get just under 1000 UC per month
we are with council housing and it’s cheap and nice house with big gardens I would never rent privet

Not sure OP can put in a claim as a single person if she hasn't moved out yet and is still living and jointly paying for everything - wouldn't that be fraud?