@*@*@* Changing a child's name legally...pros, cons, advice....@*@*@*

[lulumama]

We have a DD , Lulu, who is coming up for 2.6

Her name , on her birth cert. and passport is Lucy.

She does not know her name is Lucy. We called her Lulu from pretty much a day or two after she was born.

At her 8 month check, she did not respond to 'Lucy', but did to 'Lulu'.

She has a friend called Lucy, and if you ask DD what her name is , she says 'lulu', and Lucy is not her name, Lucy is her friend.

She is known as Lulu at playgroup, and will be known by that name at school.

So, my question is, should we change her name legally?

What does it entail?

is it necessary?

anyone done it?

DH is undecided, he feels that her name is Lucy, we know her as Lulu,but it should be up to her when she is older, to make the final decision. He says, what if she hates being called Lulu.. i think all children go through phases of hating their names, regardless.

I feel she is Lulu, it suits her, it is pretty, and unusual without being OTT, and i cannot imagine calling her Lucy again, permanently.

any thoughts/ opinions?

Leave it as it is. Lulu is your pet name for her. Shell understand when she gets older that its your special name for her. We call DS "Tudge"!
SHe might hate Lulu, she might hate Lucy, she might demand to be called Boadicea.

nah - leave it

am sure it is pretty easy to do but she may well hate the name Lulu when she is older

Part of the reason we gave DS his middle name was in case he didn't like his given name he could use it if he wanted to be Prime Minister

Leave it as is, and let her make the change should she wish to when she is old enough.

I have never been known by my given name. I remember asking my parents at about age 5 or so why doctors and nurses (all medical types in fact) always called me by a particular name. Did this happen to other people? That was when my parents told me the story of my name (which I won't relate here, as it would make me far too identifiable).

It was a bit of a pain at school, as some teachers refuse to use nicknames and my parents had to do a lot of explaining and persuading. Also I was bullied at school, and for some reason was terribly sensitive about my name. The name I was given, not the name I was called. I suppose like some people hate their middle names.

I added my 'called' name to my given name legally when I was about 20. It was very easy to do. And once I had done that I no longer felt uncomfortable with my given name.

I would say to use her given name from time to time so that she is accustomed to it.

at tudge !!

i feel it is more than a pet name, we just don;t call her Lucy. neither do friends and family. all her birthday cards etc are addressed to lulu, family things are addressed to us and lulu ...

i feel it is a permanent name, iFYSWIM

she might hate her given name too!

it is confusing...

thanks for the comments

I hated my given name from a young age and called myself a variety of names from about 5 years old. I got called my given name at school and I shortend it and tried to be happy with that but I wasn't.

My parents called me a nickname but not something I could ever be known as.

When I was 15 I settled on something connected to my given name and was "known as" that for years however when it comes to legal documents, credit cards, bank accounts, education certificates etc etc it all has my given name on it. I changed it legally by deed poll to my chosen name, my parents, and other family members all call me by my legal and chosen name. The best £50 I ever spent.

We had huge debates about giving our own children names that we would automatically shorten but decided if we were going to shorten them anyway why wouldn't we just give them the shortend name.

My mate's son is called Charles, they call him Charlie and have to let school know. This year for some strange reason it has slipped through the net so they had the whole nightmare of telling the school, all his books had to be changed, his coat peg etc and the teacher has to learn to call him Charlie.

My advice, if you call her Lulu (which is lovely by the way) I would change her name before she starts school if possible.

I'd leave it.

I am and have always been called by a diminutive of the name on my birth cert - by my parents, friends, at school etc. I hardly ever use my 'official' name and yet am glad I have it. For example I have published, and hope to do so again in the future, and my official name is much more suited to an academic context.

thank you fizzy and berolina.

DD is due to start pre school in september, on the application, which had to be sent with copy of her birth cert, i put Lucy X, known as Lulu..... hope that will help !!

I am more inclined to change it officially... i think DH is thinking more that way too.

thank you for sharing your thoughts

Having children called X known as Y is much more common than when I was younger - I'd say that there at least 2 or 3 in each class at school, so I think that you have a while to decide. If she is still lulu after a couple of years then that might be the time to change. And she may wish to change when she is at school - certainly around here lulu is slang for vagina.

oh my god ! maybe i should changer her name to fanjo , no-one knows what that means in RL !!!

I have always been referred to as what started as my nickname, but I still kind of like the fact that it has been shortened from a longer name even though I have recollections of being surprised to find it wasn't my "proper" name and I still introduce myself as the nickname. I don't know why.
Of course, change it if you think it is best, but if you leave it you do leave her another name option if, as she gets older, she dislikes it for any reason (don't know why she would).

I'd leave it. It's not as though her name is Lucy but you are calling her Betsy-Sue -- Lulu is a perfectly sensible short form of Lucy.

(p.s. Lucy is a lovely name - on our list for a (very) hypothetical dd )

(tis berolina)

thank you all !

DH;s argument was the 'what if she has a serious career like law.." . but i am a failed lawyer, so doubt she would try that road !! maybe she would . don't know !

will carry on thinking about this..

but your comments are all really helpful

I really wouldn't change it legally, LM.

I know lots of children who've always been known as 'Tommy', 'Billy', 'Alex' or whatever, and have one day turned around and insisted everyone calls them by their full name only.

My dc went the other way, having always been known by their full names and then at some point changing to using a shortened form.

You don't know what she'll want to be or be known as when she's bigger. Lucy is a great name, and Lulu is a fine pet form. But if you change her name officially, you've taken that choice away from her.

Also, remember how immature and unkind kids can be -- there was a girl in my class at primary school called Louise. One day her mum was overheard to address her as Lulu in the playground, and she was subjected to years of, "eeeugh, your mum named you after a toilet, that's weird'.

Leave the choice to her when she's old enough to make it.

My brother is Benjamin, always known as Ben. Then in adulthood he moved to Italy where "ben" is a common word and they couldn't get their head around the idea of someone having that as an actual name. So he reverted to Benjamin. If my parents had changed his name in childhood on the basis that no one ever called him Benjamin (which no one at all ever did) then he wouldn't have had that option (well, I suppose he would, but it would have involved a lot of hassle and going through a second legal name change).

Actually, having a legal name (e.g. on the electoral roll) that is different from the one everyone calls you is a bit of an asset -- helps you to spot cold callers right up front .