Has anyone who’s been crap at money changer it around later in life, and how?

[Sickonomoneyyy]

Has anyone who’s been crap at money changer it around later in life, and how?

im late thirties and always struggled to budget, payday millionaire etc and I’m sick of it! I just don’t know a way out! Nothing seems to work

Which bits do you struggle with? Might help to zero in on the causes - do you not earn enough for basics, or have a problem with overspending, or debts too big to manage etc?

Yes me. I was always in debt in my 20s and early 30s. Now I'm a regular saver and have paid off my mortgage.
This was partly to do with getting a better paid job, and partly to do with growing up a bit and not being so reckless. For some reason I used to think I needed new clothes all the time, at least two foreign holidays a year and the latest phone. Now I mostly holiday in the UK, buy more second hand clothes (via Vinted/eBay) and have an old phone. I'm also more proactive at selling my old stuff.
Oh and I'm mostly vegetarian which really is a lot cheaper.

In theory I earn enough to be ok, but I majorly overspend, don’t stick to budget. Payday comes and I ignore bills, spend lots then think shit need to pay bills, see what’s left then I pay what I can and then end up having to borrow off family (credit is that bad I can’t get overdraft or credit card etc)

I am abmisal with money (46) but I am getting better. I finally got out of debt when I sold my house 1.5 yrs ago, my credit was in the shithole at that point so no chance of credit.

I therefore had to learn to 'budget' somewhat. I'm finally actually saving.

I still, still struggle with not just pissing through what I have to spend, and not keeping in mind that a few £10 purchases quicky add up!!

I was considering some sort of financial counselling at some point but never got as far as finding out if that existed. lol

*abysmal

How do you spend money? Online? Cards?

Work out your budget and then withdraw the cash and put it into envelopes for the month. Leave enough in your current account to cover bills any thing for savings transfer out on payday into account that is out of mind. Do tye cash in envelopes for 6 months to retrain your thinking, you need to see the instant effect of spending the money

Ah okay. So for bills, I contacted all the companies and set up direct debits for the day or a few days after my salary is paid. Could you do that? Easy if you have a monthly salary and monthly bills - but are there some payment frequencies that make it more complicated eg being paid fortnightly but bills being due monthly?

Have you written out your incomings/outgoings on a spreadsheet so you know where you stand?

overspending is more difficult to address - is it emotionally driven? Eg buying things to plug unhappiness? I have a problem with that and can ebb and flow between being more sensible and then hitting my ‘fuck it’ button too much.

Yes me. In my mid 20s I used to just use my credit card willy nilly and would give no thought to whether I could afford to do things before making plans. I was going out for drinks and dinner 5-6 nights a week and spending a lot.

Then when I got to £10k worth of debt across various credit cards I took out a loan to pay it all off and then paid a set amount each month to the loan and more when I had bonuses etc.

I then started writing a strict budget at the start of every month. So if I know I’ve got a night out for someone’s birthday that month, I will put the money aside in advance. Or for holidays, I’ll put aside extra in the months leading up to it. I use Starling so it’s very easy to put this money into different pots and then it’s there when the event comes up.

Ive just turned 30 and have bought my first house having saved just over £30k by myself and am very proud of how far I’ve come.

I was completely naive and oblivious about money until my mid twenties, not to mention incredibly immature. I racked up about £11k of debt which was completely unnecessary, just spent on clothes, travelling etc and basically living completely beyond my means.

I came to my senses after working in my first proper graduate job for a year on a fairy low salary and realising that actually it wouldn’t all just be fine once I was working and had loads of money (ha!)

I also met my now Dh who was more solvent and basically triggered me to grow up and realise that I wanted to be more financially comfortable. I joined the money saving expert forum and created a spreadsheet to take stock of my debts and what I managed to pay off each month. I did it very gradually while still living quite extravagantly with hindsight, but the main thing was being in control and KNOWING what I was spending and what my account and card balances were. My salary steadily increased and eventually I was in the black and now I’m very financially responsible.

I basically manage all our money, and track to the penny what we have, outgoings etc. DH is happy to leave me to it but the thought of not having financial control makes me break into a sweat!

Through some good luck with our housing market and chucking all our money into renovations for years, we now have about £500k equity in our home, a small S&S ISA which is building steadily and a small pot of cash savings. Our only debt is a vehicle loan which were saving up to pay off early.

I do look back and kick myself about how well off I could have been if I’d been sensible with the amazing chances I had in my late teens/early twenties (loads of parental help, earning well around studies while living at home etc). But at the same time I had a bloody brilliant time, saw the world and lived it up while I was young. In all honestly I would reign it in a bit given my time again but I can’t bring myself to regret it all 😊

I have. Up until my mid twenties I was awful. Credit cards, payday loans etc. I grew up in a family who spent money they didn’t have on unnecessary luxuries and holidays so it was hard to get out of the habit.

We have a spreadsheet showing all our outgoings and how much we can spend each month, everyone we consider buying anything big we consider the impact financially.

It was hard at first to just stop spending, it helps that DH is strict but realising you don’t need to buy clothes all the time or other luxuries is what helped me. My family are still in debt and tell me to treat myself, but not having the stress of money is worth it.

*everything not everyone

I was terrible with money to the point I had a £5000 overdraft and no money 2 weeks after payday - with nothing to show for it. Nobody knew how stressed I was about money - I had stupidly gotten 2 loans out to cover my overdraft and gone right back in to it anyway so I was essentially paying 3 loans off, not to mention Very and PayPal Credit. All in all, I was about 15k in debt.
A few years ago, I kept seeing adverts for an IVA and I looked in to it but when I really thought about, I realised how silly I was being when what I really needed to was face up to my finances, think about what I was buying and think about what I can do to benefit the future, not buying crap to satisfy me.
At the start of 2021, I phoned every company I owed money to to ask for a definitive figure, and upped payments where I could without leaving me skint. I made direct debits to PayPal Credit and Very. It has been hard and I've been skint sometimes, but knowing that I'm getting rid of a massive burden has been a relief. I now have one final payment to Very to pay this month (£100) and then I'm debt free and it feels great. I have savings which I've never had before!
What has helped me is:

• Having a bank account where all my bills/debts come out of and then another bank like Monzo for spending money which I then separate in to little pots and I also have a locked pot where all my 'round ups' go and before you know it you've got a good chunk of money saved all through doing nothing.
• Making a finance spreadsheet - everything you owe and what has to come out of your bank should be on this to show what you can afford.

I don't think there's any quick fix or remedies to being crap with money, it's just a case of that spark where you decide what needs to change. Good luck!

I also have the most basic bank account you can get, I purposefully chose it as it has no overdraft option.

To add to my post - money management is like a hobby to me now. I really enjoy tracking it all, seeing our savings grow and working out how to manage our money. A bit sad and I have to be careful not to take it too far and become tight but Dh balances me out well on that front and we live for today as well. Just not at the expense of tomorrow.

One of the tabs on my spreadsheet (yes I’m such a loser) tracks the balances of all our savings accounts/debt on the last day of each month (excluding mortgage). Another column then shows the total increase or decrease in our net worth that month. I work by the principle that as long as it goes up by something every month, we’re always moving in the right direction. That helps with seeing the big picture and not feeling worried or out of control if we seem to have a spendy month.

Despite having a household income that would be considered high in the south-east - neither spouse nor I actually see our salary account or experience our full pay on payday.

this is because our salary accounts are auto-set up to send out the following on payday -

1. Mortgage
2. bills
3. Mortgage overpayments
4. easy access savings
5. pensions at source
6. Investing

on the same day is also paid out an “allowance” for each of us into the account that we do see - our Starling personal accounts.

It is this personal account with starling we see, we have debit cards for, is linked to Apple Pay etc. it is this “allowance “ we pay ourselves each month that must account for - fuel, parking, lunches, any going out, gifts etc. we live inside that allowance. If it’s a tough month with lots of birthdays or occasions - then tough. So it is. We cut back elsewhere inside the allowance but it is still a case of living inside the allowance.

it’s only by entirely delinking ourselves from our salaries and the salary account when it comes to personal spending that we are overpaying mortgage and saving as we are.

The main thing that made a difference for me was moving to Monzo and having real, instant visibility of my money. Seeing it go out almost hourly really made me realise how much I was wasting

I used to be really dreadful with money when I was younger. Have got better as I've got older and now I would say I'm good with money. Things that helped me are getting a budgeting app, I use YNAB and it helped as I could actually see where my money was going. It allowed me to put on goals so that helped with savings.
Another 'rule' I have is to wait 24 hours before buying. I used to be quite an impulse shopper, especially with clothes and skincare. Now I put it in my on line basket and if I still want it 24 hours later I buy it. This has reduced my shopping by around 80%.

I also do 99% of my shopping on line. This means I can look around for the best deals easily.

It's not only about how good or bad you are with money. Plenty of people have have never had to worry about money or work thanks to the bank of mum and dad. Like me you have them to thank too if you're worried about your finances/financial savvy.

Me but younger. Got access to cards store and credit and overdraft. After a lifetime of being poor I thought I was rich.
Took me into my 30s to pay it all off and it was only a few thousand but I kept consolidating 🙈

I basically now save when I get paid, put it away like another bill. I budget and work out what I have for the month for me for the month. I don’t need to give my self an amount per week or day, but some find that useful to the point they draw the cash out for the week.. I check my bank daily, so I can see if I’ve overspent. It’s very easy with debit cards to overspend. So important to keep track too.

I’ve no debt bar the mortgage and no overdraft

Me. As a previous poster said partly I got a better paying job, partly I looked at friends and colleagues the same age and realised they had kids and responsibilities and were managing on what I had.

1 read up on budgeting on money saving expert
2 went through a years bank and credit card statements
3 set a realistic budget that included all bills over year, nice things, savings, birthdays etc
4 tracked my spending using an app that showed bills over the year, how much I had left and how much I was saving
5 after 12 months I was out of debt and saving

Me.Becoming a minimalist changed everything.

So for example, I have two pairs of shoes which I love. If I see a new pair I like, I have to consider if I like them more or less than the ones I own.

I am a messy person but owning very little means I can tidy in 5 mins.

We are downsizing to a flat because we don't need all the space we have now, which means we will lots more money every month.

Check out 'The Minimal Mom' on YouTube. Best thing I ever did was start watching her. Changed my whole life.

Its about responsibility.
You simply can’t ignore bills.
You need to retrain yourself to look at your priority spending as Rent, Council tax, utilities, commitment and adapt food and then other spends to your budget.

I moved out and lived independently weeks before my 16th birthday. It was crap. However I’ve never once missed my rent. Always paid my bills. There were no food banks and yes it was hard and I went hungry. An (now) ex used to occasionally give me £20 for a few months but I’ve never borrowed money from friends or family family. I just wouldn’t. You need to get out of that mindset.

I have also had two jobs frequently in my twenties. I’d do it again now if I needed.

I lived like this in my 20s but before my second child was on the way I joined the frugaleers thread in credit crunch section of mumsnet and am still there. I also started using YNAB and have never missed a payment since. I love it & it keeps me solvent. It's zero based budgeting meaning you give every £ a job
A good place to start would be to do an annual overview www.mrshawkinshouse.com sells one for very little. You could also work it out yourself with a spreadsheet or pen and paper.
Writing down all your debt is the first thing to do. I'm debt free except my mortgage since 2019, it's an amazing place to be, however when my car needs replacing I probably will need a loan again, I'm not willing to sacrifice my children's childhood and fun experiences to avoid debt for a car. But it's things like camping trips etc not holidays to the sun!

^Its about responsibility.
You simply can’t ignore bills.
You need to retrain yourself to look at your priority spending as Rent, Council tax, utilities, commitment and adapt food and then other spends to your budget^

This is good advice. It's almost like pretending a lot of your salary doesn't exist because it's already accounted for in the above, plus savings for pensions, emergency fund in case you can't work and annual and irregular expenses, both essentials like insurance, car repairs, MOT, servicing, replacement, likewise for household appliances and more discretionary expenses like holidays and Christmas.

You don't have (say) £2000 to spend every month when your salary comes in, but (say) £500 or whatever amount is left after all essentials have been accounted for. Maybe separate your money into different accounts on payday and only use the card and look at the account that has your spending money in. Your bills and savings accounts don't exist.

People aren't fooled when you tell them you need to borrow money to buy food or pay the gas bill because they've already watched you get your nails done, go out for food and drink, buy new clothes that you don't really need, or whatever it is that 'payday millionaire' you spends on.

But I think it's more than that and a fundamental difference in people's wants, rather than the money itself. This is an area where DP and I are very different. It's not so much he's a spender and I'm a saver but he seems to be constantly looking for things to buy whereas I hardly ever seem to want anything.

He'll spend a lot of time looking at websites just to see what's there that he can buy, whereas I would never do that unless I've already decided that I need something and then have to research which one most suits me best, which to me is a complete chore that I often put off as long as possible. To him looking at things seems to be an enjoyable hobby.

I don't know how the above helps, but to me it seems to be a big part of why some people manage their money better than others, but I can see that it is probably very hard to overcome, if it's down to your personality.

This post echoes everything I also posted upthread OP. It’s v good practice I think. For me - savings and Overpayments on the mortgage are treated as a bill, and as I explained in my post above - I never actually see my salary account.

I only see the “allowance” I am paid by myself into my Starling account and am trained to live inside that.