On good money but still can't afford to buy a house-how is this possible?

[piddocktrumperiness]

Hi everyone
Just looking for some advice really. I have my own flat, small and manageable and I am on less than 18k a year. My DP rents a 3 bed house as he has two children of his own, pays nearly £1000 in rent. Utilities, council tax, car and maintenance take his fixed costs, including the rent to nearly £3000. His take home pay is £4300. He has other outgoings such as insurances, pensions and bits and pieces that take up another few hundred
To me, someone with take home pay of that much should be able to afford to buy a home or save for a substantial deposit as this income is above UK average, but looking over his finances it just seems that his fixed costs are high. He can save around £500 a month. How are people doing it?

The place he rents is not great tbh and he's not happy there but is in a location suitable for the kids and their school. We looked around other properties to rent but rent has gone up recently for smaller space and locations that are further away. If we do move into a different area to rent for more, I'll end up paying more towards the bills even if pro rata as my flat and the associated bills are much lower than they'd be if upsizing.

We'd love to buy our own home, but can't figure out how people save for a deposit. We'd need at least 50-60k in cash. How is that doable? The mortgage on these properties is not cheap either.

I was thinking of selling my flat, but I'm hesitant as there is not much equity in it and I'd like to leave it to my son as his inheritance.

I thought about moving in with DP, we pay rota on the bills and maybe that could help, but his house can't accommodate all of us and I don't feel at ease about renting out my home to pay rent on a property that needs a lot of work and effectively paying a landlord's mortgage. It does not make sense in my head.

How are people buying their first home these days and saving for a deposit? If the average income in the UK is what it is?
I'm looking for ideas or solutions so that we can do this, but I'm not the savviest when it comes to the housing market and thought maybe I could get some advice here

Has he spent his gratuity that he got when he finished his 20 years? He'll have a decent military pension but he's paying towards another one instead of saving for a deposit? He doesn't want to move.

Yes my mum mortgaged her council house she has and the council did a right to buy thing

Consent to Let is when you get permission from your mortgage company that you can rent it out for x time, usually 6 or 12m initially, and then at the end of that term you can usually extend this, or you’ll need to switch to a B2L product (or move back as primary residence, or sell). But when it place it opens up your lending to another residents mortgage.

But I do agree with pp that really he should be more invested in this than you, even if you’re better at it and enjoy it, this should be as a supportive role to him as the main instigator, so I’d definitely speak further and also get legal advice if you were going to do anything with your existing property. (Consent to let doesn’t cost anything though).

@piddocktrumperiness

Yep first thing I thought was ‘military for 20 years aye?’ Because if he’s been in 20-22 years then his lump sum will be sizeable, not least he will also be drawing his military pension which is like half a liveable salary even at 41.

the point of the lump sum on leaving the forces is to give you a leg up with settling down on civvy street. Most people use a good chunk of it to use as a deposit on a house. That’s why you ‘retire’ at 40, to give you a decent chance of a second career, but with the chance of somewhere to live.

What I would say though is I wouldn’t be too hard on him not having saved his actual wages- if he was a corporal for instance he could have been on a not-great wage and although housing is ‘subsidised’ it’s not free, we still pay for our house and utilities are expensive because it’s not well insulated and these houses cost a fortune to heat etc. not everyone is on officer wages or in nice new quarters!

Funnily enough, the way we managed to do it was by saving money through working overseas, like your DH. In most cases you get subsidised or even fully funded accommodation so that’s how we saved a deposit.

We would struggle now as we now have to pay childcare and just generally have a more expensive lifestyle since having kids, but we could save more than we do if we massively cut down our outgoings. I don’t know if it would be enough for a deposit.

Why suggest that to the OP though?
It’s not an option.

His "fixed costs" are huge imo. I reckon he could reduce them significantly if he was minded to. I bet he's spending a lot on his car, and would question whether he needs to be paying a lot out of his post-tax income into a pension if he's got 20 years worth of army pension. And then look at the rest of it - has he got a lot of expensive subscriptions, check out if he's paying an unnecessary amount of insurance etc.

Look into shared ownership properties. You can buy 25%, whether from savings or a mortgage, and you rent the rest for less than market value. With options to purchase increments whenever you can afford it, and if you want to.
I'd contact your local council and see what buying options there are, because they also have affordable rent properties, some where you can rent for 3 years and then have to purchase, giving you 3 years to save.
It's worth getting a financial review done, and explain to them your end game of owning a house and they should be able to figure out how to do this.
You could do this yourself, but not everyone us comfortable doing so.

As for your flat, DO NOT sell it. Hopefully youll have a lifelong relationship, but if it went wrong for any reason, you have somewhere to go back to if needed.
Could you rent it out? Giving you extra income and also keeping it for your son.

I'm in the process of applying for a shared ownership, and I'm on 18k a year. I qualify for a mortgage, and will own 40%.

Another route to go down, is to speak to a mortgage broker. Ask them what you could realistically borrow as a couple. Make sure you have all.your facts and figures for them.

Hope this helps x

He's feeding you a line I'm afraid. He's not that bothered about saving for a house if he's hoping to get a Tesla ffs! You honestly think he can get a leasehire Tesla for £200 per month? We pay £300 for a Peugeot SUV (but we've paid our mortgage off). A quick Google shows a Tesla is 5k deposit and 500 per month. His priorities are not the same as yours.

OP there's a number of things here. 1) it's easier to buy before having kids 2) people save for long periods 3) they don't buy houses straight away and 4) earn more money.

Can you increase your income? I have a very high paying job as does DH but we both work extra jobs to gain as much money as possible. We are also very savvy with money.

Also see a broker (lots of good ones are free). For us, we can have over £100k in credit card debt before it affects our lendability. I am not recommending that obviously but it's really worth understanding the process. Also, the 4.5x rule isn't accurate, so you need to speak with a professional.

Is there a possibility you could earn more ?

DH and i saved up 70k deposit by living with his mum for 3 years. we married young and we don't have kids so were able to do this. We bought a 2 bed flat. But we are in london zone 3 so will probably always live in flats (but are ok with this; would rather have a big 3 bed flat than a small house).

I don't know how people upgrade with a child, so I am trying to upgrade to the big flat before we have a child

Yesterday you posted that your DP was considering retraining as a pilot which will obviously impact on his income initially. July last year you posted you had broken up with your boy friend and decided to stay single for a while but in another thread you post you have been with your present BF for over a year.

Personally I wouldn't be willing to buy a property and move in with someone I hjad only known that long, especially if he is going to switch careers.