Where to contribute

[woahwoahwoah]

This could potentially be a relationship thread, but please bear with me.

For transparency I'm a sahm.

DH and I have a somewhat up and down relationship. In part due to being frazzled with little children and next to no time for "us" or ourselves.

The only debt we have is a car loan and our mortgage.

DH and I have the exact same spends each month as money is pooled and divided, I then have some side hustles which bumps mine up.

DH has a decent-ish pension pot, I have a very small pension pot. I have about £20k savings and he has proud few thousand. I contribute to my pension and savings monthly.

So it has come about that after budgeting furiously for a few months I am able to save a few hundred pounds outside of my regular savings. I

My question is should I add these to the family savings pot or add them to my own savings...or do half and half.

I'm aware I'm in a precarious situation being a sahm. If I had a "proper" job I'd obviously contribute a set amount each month

If you're behind your DH on the pension front, and the main reason for that is that is that you're a SAHM of your joint DC, ie he's free to work and further his career because you're taking all the responsibility for looking after DC, then it's fair for this spare money to go into into your pension, you can put in about £2800 per year.

You might also consider reviewing your budget so contributions to your pension come out of joint money not yours.

Why do your side hustles bump up your spends and not family spends?
I'd review the position with DH, look to improve your pension situation (although bear in mind that of he is a higher rate tax payer then contributions to his pension are more tax efficient).

At the end of the day, if you divorce it's all in the pot anyway, and otherwise when one of you dies hopefully you'll have set up your wills to do what you jointly want.

But if its potentially a relationship issue then maybe you are asking the wrong question here.

So the money your husband earns is pooled and divided equally but the money you earn is yours alone. This sounds pretty unfair on your DH to me!

Yes I agree with the ideas re pension. DH employers contribute towards his pension and have done for the entire time I've been a sahm.

I've had no contributions made for almost five years. My being at home enables him to take on any hours that suit him as he's jut limited by school runs, pick-ups, appointments etc.