Page 2 | How to split costs once maternity pay stops?

babyrocket · 2022-05-20T05:23:01+00:00

As a couple, my husband and I have decided that it is best I take a year off after the birth of our daughter. I was lucky enough to get full pay for a few months but I will now be going down to statutory and then nothing for the last 3 months. Both me and my husband have agreed that it's not fair on me that I should have to use savings to pay my share of mortgage/ bills once my mat pay stops but we can't figure out how to split things sensibly. I am happy to dig into my savings somewhat and he is happy to contribute to helping me. How did you do it?

pumpkinpie01 · 20/05/2022 07:31

We had joint money from the day my dh moved in , would find it weird any other way. If you have separate money how are you going to decide who pays for what regarding the child's clothes /days out /presents ?

NerrSnerr · 20/05/2022 07:34

Our wages go into our own accounts and the majority gets transferred to a joint account to pay mortgage, bills etc. We buy most things on a credit card that we pay off at the end of the month.

It's not really his or my money, we're married so all joint.

Shinyandnew1 · 20/05/2022 07:38

We had a joint account from very early on-just after we left university and got jobs. All wages go in and all bills go out. I struggle to get my head around anything else, to be honest! Why on earth should you lose your savings when you’re looking after his baby?!

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 20/05/2022 07:38

I can't imagine having had 'his' and 'my' money after we were married and amazes me how many couples have separate money, just makes day-to-day stuff more complicated than it needs to be. But each to their own. Still OP a you shouldn't be dipping into your savings. If your DH insists on that then start charging him the going childcare and housekeeper rate as that is the jobs you will be doing while he's at work and you're not earning from your regular job.

DeskInUse · 20/05/2022 07:43

All money, your mat pay and his wages go into one pot, bills come out (inc anything baby related), then what's left gets split 50/50

Don't use your savings!

Lazerbeen · 20/05/2022 07:54

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 20/05/2022 07:38

I can't imagine having had 'his' and 'my' money after we were married and amazes me how many couples have separate money, just makes day-to-day stuff more complicated than it needs to be. But each to their own. Still OP a you shouldn't be dipping into your savings. If your DH insists on that then start charging him the going childcare and housekeeper rate as that is the jobs you will be doing while he's at work and you're not earning from your regular job.

I don't know why it's that hard to comprehend that every set up is different. Me and DH earn about the same, we put am equal amount into an account for bills, an equal amount into joint savings and then have our own accounts with the money left. I am quite careful with money whereas he is quite frivolous. With this set up that difference doesn't matter as we contribute fairly to joint stuff but then we can do as we please with our own money- I'd hate to have a fully joint account. Admittedly if DH earnt more than me I'd be more for it.

SickAndTiredAgain · 20/05/2022 08:00

Me and DH earn about the same, we put am equal amount into an account for bills, an equal amount into joint savings and then have our own accounts with the money left. I am quite careful with money whereas he is quite frivolous. With this set up that difference doesn't matter as we contribute fairly to joint stuff but then we can do as we please with our own money- I'd hate to have a fully joint account. Admittedly if DH earnt more than me I'd be more for it.

To be fair, I would call that pretty much joint finances, especially with the joint savings. If you were in OP's situation, you wouldn't be taking money out of "your" savings to cover the cost of having a child.
We do similar to you, although we don't earn the same amount so we work it so that we both have the same amount of leftover personal money. And in a few months when my mat pay goes down, we'll rework it to make sure we still both have the same amount of personal money.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 20/05/2022 08:06

I don't know why it's that hard to comprehend that every set up is different. Me and DH earn about the same, we put am equal amount into an account for bills, an equal amount into joint savings and then have our own accounts with the money left. I am quite careful with money whereas he is quite frivolous. With this set up that difference doesn't matter as we contribute fairly to joint stuff but then we can do as we please with our own money- I'd hate to have a fully joint account. Admittedly if DH earnt more than me I'd be more for it.

I did say "each to their own". You describe a situation I would call joint finances - up to the point that one of you isn't earning, like the OP on maternity leave, which is the point of this thread.

I find it weird when out for dinner with a long time married couple when they both pay their individual part of the billBut as said, each to their own, clearly it's up to each couple how they manage things.
I still don't think OP should be dipping into savings for household expenses during maternity leave.

Original poster

babyrocket · 20/05/2022 16:13

Wow, thanks everyone for your replies, it's been really eye opening! We've been together 6 years and married nearly 1 year and have always had separate finances: it didn't even occur to us to change that when we married to be honest! Never given it any thought up to this particular point, we just carried on with a system which had always worked... it's been amazing to see that this isn't the norm! It stupidly hadn't occurred to me that husband should cover me financially during this time or that I shouldn't be paying my half of the mortgage from my savings... I feel quite stupid now. But it really does make sense. I'm going to need to have a chat with him, I think.

OP posts:

Auntieobem · 20/05/2022 16:19

"It stupidly hadn't occurred to me that husband should cover me financially during this time or that I shouldn't be paying my half of the mortgage from my savings." But he wouldn't be covering you? As a family his money IS your money your money IS his. Its all one pot.

ScrumptiusBears · 20/05/2022 16:25

Bit late now but the way we worked it was when I found out I was pregnant I started saving to cover my share of the mortgage, joint direct debits and my personal regular outgoings for the full year. DP covered the joint credit card which all expenses, holidays food, clothing, DIY, household etc was put on. It worked out fairly equal.

Oblomov22 · 20/05/2022 16:43

Eh? What a wierd view. My maternity leaves were a long time ago admittedly. All our money goes in one joint account. Joint being the operative word here.

CocktailsOnTheBeach · 20/05/2022 17:43

I don't understand how you phrase this "he's happy to help" you have a child together, so you can share a child but not a bank account? Before we had children we decided if we could afford it, we had children and paid for everything from the same account. It made no difference who earned the money. My husband didn't help me afford my share, we just carried on paying for things as we would when we were both working. If savings were dipped into at the very end it was the joint savings. I can never understand people tying themselves in knots over money, you clearly share everything else why not money?

BundtCake · 20/05/2022 18:55

Good luck with the talk. There’s absolutely no way you should be using up your savings.

carefullycourageous · 20/05/2022 18:57

Joint account, family money, if I had no money coming in his wages would pay for everything.

OneCup · 20/05/2022 19:00

Either have a joint account or make sure you are equally worse off from you not working (ie. He sends money to your bank account). We did the latter when I was on maternity leave ( we never liked the idea of a joint bank account).